Oscar Wilde  

Fallic40 53M
3214 posts
7/17/2005 7:09 pm
Oscar Wilde

And in my ever decreasing ability to relax, I am sitting here reading from one of my favourite books: and it is poetry. I came across a series of stanzas from Oscar Wilde's Ballad of Reading Gaol.

"Yet each man kills the the thing he loves,
By each let this be heard,
Some do it with a bitter look,
Some with a flattering word,
The coward does it with a kiss,
The brave man with a sword!

Some kill their love when they are young,
And some when they are old;
Some strangle with the hands of Lust,
Some with the hands of Gold:
The kindest use a knife, because
The dead so soon grow cold.

Some love too little, some too long,
Some sell, and others buy;
Some do the deed with many tears,
And some without a sigh:
For each man kills the thing he loves.
Yet each man does not die."

And I am sitting here with a glass of wine looking back at how appropriate these lines are for me and the way that I have lived my life.

More thoughts on this are contained in the comments

Fallic40 53M
1858 posts
7/17/2005 9:18 pm

I have truly loved two women in my life. One is my ex-wife. The other is a woman who became my best friend in the years after my divorce. To this day, I think that I still love both if them. But one is married to someone else and the other is no longer in my life.

I managed to kill the love of both women. How I managed that was not by the ways mentioned above, but just by the passage of time.
It was the crossing of paths, a series of roads travelled that not everyone wants to journey upon. It was written in the tea leaves, posted in the stars. It was things that never were and things that were never to be.

The second great love was the hardest to lose. Imagine meeting the love of your life, the woman of your dreams. And now imagine that you are not hers.

DirtyLilSecret61 55F

7/18/2005 12:39 pm

I am speechless.

I feel each of Mr. Wild's line as if they were spoken about my own (love) life. Still, I hope for the day that love will this time consume my soul and warm my heart without leaving behind scorchmarks.

Thank you for posting this.


papyrina 51F
21133 posts
7/18/2005 1:16 pm

sorry to hear that but better to have loved ,than never loved at all

I'm a

i'm here to stay

rm_jayR63 59F
1884 posts
7/19/2005 8:19 pm

Oscar Wilde, one of the diners at my imaginary dinner table along with Dorothy Parker, Mark Twain, H.L. Menken and others.

I find that in this (metaphoric) case, it is mostly men doing the killing of women.


Fallic40 53M
1858 posts
7/22/2005 9:40 am


To me, it reflects the hunter/gatherer mentality of men. "Man see woman, man go get woman."

Men are not, as a genetic rule, nurturing, and so they end up losing interest and the love is killed by their actions. A lesbian friend put it best when she told me that she thought of men as "serial monogamists". Perhaps this would be a really good topic to throw into teh blogland ether sometime.

Fallic40 53M
1858 posts
3/1/2006 3:21 pm

lil, I am sure that you will.

Fallic40 53M
1858 posts
3/1/2006 3:21 pm

papy, I am not so sure on that one.

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