Knowing Me, Knowing You  

Fallic40 53M
3214 posts
3/18/2006 8:03 pm
Knowing Me, Knowing You

Looking back over this week, I have come to realize that I really have exposed a lot of myself, but I also haven’t exposed a lot of myself: if you understand what I mean? I know that it is hardly original and other people have done it, but here are 11 things about me. Why 11? Well, to quote Spinal Tap, "11 is just one better than 10".


1. I am petrified of needles. Try to give me a shot. I dare you, I double dog dare you. I have always wanted my family crest tattooed on my calf but it will never happen. The tattoo would be a falcon clutching a heart. I would also like to get the three rampant lions of England tattooed on my other calf. I did have three diamond studs in my left ear at one time ‒ but I was incredibly drunk when I got them. And it was probably a triple dog dare ‒ the mother of all dares.

2. I have never had sex with a woman who was wearing sexy lingerie. The kind of women that I generally fall for, and who fall for me, tend to run towards the more natural and outdoorsy type (but they do shave their legs and armpits). Most of these have tended to sleep naked. I have also attracted more than my fair share of sweats and t-shirt wearers too. Most importantly, I have nary a clue as to what to buy, and in what size to buy it, should I find myself lost and bored in Victoria’s Secret with a mortgage available to purchase anything.

3. Getting my haircut by a beautiful female barber leaves me so horny that an immediate wank is needed. The back of my head is my most erogenous zone and having a woman playing with it blows my mind. All I need to find now is the lady barber who wants to climb up on top of me in her barbers chair and have her way with me.

4. I sleep naked. Why else would I want to have 500 count Egyptian cotton sheets? My bed is a full production on the scale of producing an opera. The sheets cannot be wrinkled, the blankets have to be “just so”, and the comforter has to allow me to sleep almost completely underneath it. I also need to be at just the right temperature to sleep well. I also cannot have the heat on in the bedroom. Aren’t I just the most finicky bastard you have ever read about?

5. I have broken my nose 7 times. You cannot tell unless you run your finger along the bridge of my nose and you can feel the bumps and ridges. I have also broken all of my fingers and toes. In fact my little toes have been broken so many times that they actually sit 90 degrees out of flat and I have to get someone else to cut the nails. My left leg and right foot have also been broken. I need to get a screw removed from my left shin next week as it has worked its way out. And, finally, I broke my left wrist in seven places and it is still broken in one spot leaving me unable to work tools requiring pressure from my left thumb. Therefore I have to get help cutting the nails on my right hand. Every broken bone was a soccer injury: but it took 35 years of hard work to compile this list.

6. I am a sucker for a brunette - especially if she has big brown eyes. But my girlfriends have all been blue eyed blondes. My first fantasy love was Frida from Abba ‒ the brunette. My most recent is Diane Lane.

7. I have a lipstick fetish. I love watching a woman put it on. Look at it this way, if you have lipstick on, then you know that I will be watching your lips move when you speak and paying attention to what you say. Needless to say, I find Angelina Jolie (a brunette) to be incredibly sexual and sensual.

8. I do not socialize with people that I work with as it interferes with the sociopathic skills needed to survive in the modern work place. It actually came up in a job interview Friday. I was asked if I am a loner. I answered “yes”. I was then asked if this caused me to make my work my life. My answer to that was a mind boggler for the interviewer. I carefully explained that I actually consider myself having two separate lives and I do not allow the two to intersect.

9. I am a little kid at heart. If I see a puddle I have to jump in it. Farts and burps make me laugh. I like to play tag and "it" with my girls. I will often go skinny dipping if I am alone fishing (but not in the Willamette). “Pull my finger” has long been a favorite game that I played with my girls as was burping the alphabet.

10. I once lost a girlfriend because she used to make little mewing sounds like a kitten when she orgasmed. It would freak out the cat and make me start laughing. The cat would be tearing at the bedroom door thinking another cat was in there. Or he would be jumping on and off the bed and peering under the covers looking for the other cat. Putting him out was not the solution since he is an indoor cat. So, unfortunately, the cat stayed and the pussy left.

11. I want to have anal sex (with a lady, of course). It looks like fun. Everyone on here maintains that if done right it is fun. I would also reciprocate. It is my deepest, darkest fantasy. One day, I will live out this fantasy.


Now don’t you just feel better knowing all of this? And if you are a lipstick wearing, lady barber who does not mew when having an orgasm in a bed with perfect sheets wearing lingerie and who has brunette hair, then please leave a message. You are the One!

whats4dessert2 49M

3/18/2006 8:53 pm

I laughed. I cried. It all has become a part of me. I am now whole.

bipolybabe 54F

3/19/2006 8:22 am

In your final list, you forgot to mention the anal sex part and willingness to "switch." If I were you, I'd ask for the brunette lady barber to own a "Big Red" strap-on that matches her lipstick. You need to be very clear when offering up a prayer to the Goddess of Good Fucking. She usually sends you exactly what you ask for.


Check out my blog Bi-Poly-Babe for more sensual, sexual pleasure!

rm_goddess1946 105F
13518 posts
3/19/2006 2:43 pm

LOL.... I must be the one...[/COLOR]

Althought I'm not officially a lady barber. My mom was a hairdresser and I learned to cut hair at an early age...often times cut my own and most assuredly could cut yours. I would be more likely to give you an amazing head or out of the hot tub...and I love that, myself. Something about someone rubbing the head...stroking the hair... As for the full lips and your story there...the sheets and the sleeping naked with a chest full of lingerie...yes, all that and more.

Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...

Fallic40 53M
1858 posts
3/19/2006 4:27 pm

goddess, in the words of the immortal Suggs from Madness

It must be love, love, love
It must be love, love, love
Nothing more, nothing less
Love is the best

moonfire2u 69F
2602 posts
3/19/2006 6:11 pm

Okay, I have dark shoulder length hair, almond shaped hazel eyes and full red lips...I can cut hair while wearing my lingerie...I absolutely love playing with men's hair and as far as your number one fantasy...I am also interested in trying that whole, are you planning on visiting the states soon?

kind thoughts,

impish_pixie 54F
6867 posts
3/19/2006 6:22 pm

And if you are a lipstick wearing, lady barber who does not mew when having an orgasm in a bed with perfect sheets wearing lingerie and who has brunette hair, then please leave a message. You are the One!

Love wearing my new "signature" color that Sister Safira picked out for putting on my lipstick in front of a man because "I" find it erotically stimulating. I do not "mew"...SCREAM I totally understand the straight sheets & blankets thing, will sometimes "fix" my bed (again) before I go to bed - love a cool bedroom and handmade quilts, (and a nice warm body) to keep me warm. Would be happy to wear lingerie for you, but I'm much more comfortable with nothing between me and those 500 count sheets, (not to mention the nice warm body). Auburn I believe is considered a bit in the brunette shade family... Don't know how to officially cut hair - but hey - I'm a fast learner and I do give a wonderful massage...seriously...a wonderful massage. So...what time will you be picking Maggie, Ava and I up from the airport?

I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn

_Safira 53F
11260 posts
3/20/2006 12:01 pm

Okay ... This was absolutely the best list I have ever read! Would you settle for a dark blonde with 1,000 TC Eygptian Cotton sheets? I can check-off everything else straight-away (I CAN shave your head; right?) And for you? I might be willing to dye my hair and wear colored contacts. Hell, I might even go so far as to cam to let you see me putting on my lipstick. What shade shall I wear?

Love you,
(One in a Million)

P.S. I guarantee if you come out here I can triple dog dare you into getting those tattoos and make it a very rewarding experience for you. In fact, I promise it! (And we both know I've only broken one promise in my life.)

This is my blog - Comes With Warning Labels. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

RECOMMENDED READING: A F F ... The Only Site For Me?

rm_jayR63 59F
1884 posts
3/20/2006 12:21 pm

You want anal sex?
Let me do you first, then you tell me how much you like it.

Fallic40 53M
1858 posts
3/20/2006 5:39 pm

Jay, that was exactly what I meant by reciprocate. I have no qualms whatsoever about letting a woman I trust do me. And if she would rather go first then I have absolutely no problem with that.

The operative word for me is trust. It is not about who goes first or last.

Fallic40 53M
1858 posts
3/20/2006 5:42 pm

bipolybabe, when I talked about reciprocating I was talking about being (more than) willing to receive. And a prayer to the Goddess of Good Fucking would be ideal and, I suppose a small offering, as all good Goddesses work better with an offering.

Like I said to Jay, it is about trust.

Fallic40 53M
1858 posts
3/20/2006 5:46 pm

Salz, I have a troop of nurses (who are also friends) who gave me my last tetanus shot. And as far as I am concerned, with the way I collected gashes playing soccer, the surgical stapler was one of the best inventions ever as I really hated getting stitches.

My fear of needles came from having to have my upper lip stitched back together after a dog bite when I was three. The British National Health is world renowned for its non-compassionate care.

FeistySyn 51F

3/20/2006 7:42 pm

I can run a mean set of clippers, does that count? ... because that would be my *only* disqualification

Apparently the depth of depravity here is bottomless... don't you feel right at home?

rm_jayR63 59F
1884 posts
3/20/2006 8:31 pm

Have you thought this through?
You'd prefer being painfully probed by a phallic object rather than quickly stuck by a tiny needle?
I must have missed something in my experience.

Fallic40 53M
1858 posts
3/21/2006 10:28 am

Feisty, that does indeed count. I usually go very short or shaved in the summer. When you work on a shop floor, whether it is a blue collar or a white collar job, it gets unbelievably hot in the summer.

Fallic40 53M
1858 posts
3/21/2006 10:39 am

jay, in all honesty, I can say that yes, I have thought this through. I have talked with several ladies who are friends of mine on here, much like you are a good friend of mine. And they have had good experiences with both sides of the anal equation. Conversely, I have heard from several people who did not enjoy the experience.

I have had many bad experiences with needles over the years since one tends to be stitched up a lot when playing defense in soccer and rugby. My initial experience with being stitched up as a 3 year old is what did me on needles.

Even should I not enjoy allowing a woman entry, it is still something that I would like to experience once - that way I will know it is not for me. The most important thing of all, is that it will be with a woman I trust absolutely.

Your concern for me, as it has been through out the past 7 months is something that I truly appreciate and has led me to consider you a close friend - even though we have never met. Thank you for always being there. Thank you for always speaking up.

Lots of love to you.

ember700 49F
57 posts
3/23/2006 11:29 pm

Fallic, lipstick wearing, check, colour RED! Brunnette, check, ok technically right now it is red but it is dyed, I am natually a brunnette, will grow out the colour for a sexxxy chef! Have never mewed during sex, check but maybe it is cuz I have not had the right lover, hint, hint! Lingerie, check, it is not Victoria's Secret, I can't afford that stuff! That only leaves the lady barber part, I hear there are schools for that and I think I need it, at least that is what my daughter sez! When she was 5 I was trimmming her hair, snipped her ear and we had to go to the hospital where she got 1!! yes, 1! stitch and I got years of guilt! She was super brave and I was a nervous wreck!!
So am I the one??
later with fingers crossed, LOL E

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