From the "what the fuck was he thinking" files  

Fallic40 53M
3214 posts
1/9/2006 7:35 pm
From the "what the fuck was he thinking" files

I was wandering through the various and sundry newspapers in London and was needing a break from all that high brow London Times stuff; so I sneaked down to the tiny dimly lit basement office at the arse end of fleet street that houses The Sun. Bypassing the seductive and (very, very) large breasted women waving their nipples at me from page 3, I came upon this.


Mouse prat strikes again


DOPY Gary Telford showed drunken pals how he caught his manhood in a mouse trap – and did it again.
Pub manager Gary, 32, was in agony after the party piece went wrong.

Amazingly it was the SECOND time he has been taken to casualty after getting his privates mangled in the stunt.

The first accident happened at the age of 14 when a schoolboy prank went wrong. He needed 14 stitches to fix his wounded willy.

When regulars at The Railway pub in Ipswich, Suffolk, heard about Gary’s painful past they egged him on to show them what happened.

A pal put a mouse trap on a pool table for the demonstration – but Gary tripped as he walked towards it with his manhood hanging out.

Last night Gary said: “I was quite drunk so I undid my flies and walked over to the trap. I really didn’t mean to set the trap off again but I stumbled and it went. I must be the only bloke in Britain to have caught my bits in a mousetrap not once but twice.

“It is completely and utterly embarrassing.

“Luckily I only nipped the end of my privates but I still had to go to casualty for a tetanus injection.

“The nurses thought it was hilarious – especially when they realised it was my second visit for the same accident.”


Now, since I very (very, very, very, very) rarely get to put my willy anywhere good these days, I can hardly fathom any reason, drunk or sober, that I would dare to put it in harm's way.

Fallic40 53M
1858 posts
1/9/2006 9:56 pm

I thought the guy was stupid.....and I played soccer without a cup for twenty years

methodman1000 40M
1775 posts
1/10/2006 5:34 am


papyrina 51F
21133 posts
1/10/2006 6:52 am

what men will do after a drink

I'm shocked reading the sun, prefer the mail and independant my self lol

I'm a

i'm here to stay

norprin5 55M

1/10/2006 7:57 am

the poor stupid bastard!

King Nor XVIII

Fallic40 53M
1858 posts
1/10/2006 9:56 am

Papy, what can I say, I decided to go slumming. But I did remember to not stare at the 17 year old girls on page 3. I didn't want to get myself all worked up.

Fallic40 53M
1858 posts
1/10/2006 9:58 am

Norprin, it's that he did it twice. I have seen some pretty bad accidents involving dicks from playing soccer and from working in the sheetmetal industry. But no-one has ever decided to re-enact their injury for the viewing pleasure of others.

Fallic40 53M
1858 posts
1/10/2006 9:59 am

methodman, i don't think there is any chance that you will be getting caught in a mousetrap anytime soon

Fallic40 53M
1858 posts
1/10/2006 10:00 am

Jez, glad to amuse you

MissAnnThrope 56F
11488 posts
1/10/2006 4:50 pm

um... What sort of mouse traps do they have in the UK anyway? I used to live across the road from a farm. Mice were a constant problem. I can't tell you how many times they snapped on my fingers while setting them. I never needed stitches or even had so much as a bruise.

But how stupid do you have to be to demonstrate for your friends how you did it when you were 14? Lucky thing he wasn't using a rat trap. They can do some real damage.

Fallic40 53M
1858 posts
1/10/2006 8:24 pm

The UK probably doesn't have a Mouse's Rights Society for the prevention of cruel mousetraps. So quite possibly, the trap could have a little more, shall we say, gripping power.

(Princess Lips)

1/11/2006 6:14 am

a guy..his dick..a mouse trap...and a few


Fallic40 53M
1858 posts
1/11/2006 2:30 pm

redlips, don't forget the friends. Every good stupid drunk trick requires a group of friends to impress. Always has, always will.

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