|Blogs > Excommunicateded > Critical Mind|
Well, rainy night. I began to fill out a personals add (very descriptive.) In the end, I knew that they probably would reject the add because I made it very obvious that I am interested in sex. What can I say? I really like sex.
So I go into a chat and I become linked to this site... which reminds me an awful lot of a bdsm site. It would be more appropriate to have a sex profile on this site rather than a major site like that is not specifically designed to have the word sex used within the description.
I can't even think of a profile to write on this site. Simply being a member on this site seems to say it all.
The reason why I would prefer a site like over this site is because it is impossible to participate on this site with neither a bank account nor money to put into a bank account.
This brings me to why I am a weird sex person.
My growth has been retarded into a tenth grade education. Otherwise I would be in college trying to become an elementary school teacher with at least a small degree in some kind of art.
I have been thrown into the criminal expectation... and I refuse to work a job that is going to cause me to experience a lot of pain in life. Currency is not that important when it belongs to a world that has shamed me (and a world that I would rather not live within.)
I am not about to run out and get a painful job that pays substandard wages so that I can spend my life alone chasing naked girlies on the internet.
Being tossed into the actual real world that has been covered with thick layers of concrete (among other bullshit)..... I feel a close connection with nature as well as my biological drives.
Ultimately, It is my goal to create something beautiful. Naturally, I use sex as a device to do this.
I have more or less been restricted to just sex. I can't afford to take someone out. I can't afford to mate with anyone that eats television commercials for breakfast.
I am neither hardcore nor wealthy enough to have a torture chamber.
I just want someone to have sex with... and I feel out of place on sites such as this. All I can think about is fuck the internet. Tactile stimulation and narcissism run hand in hand with honest self expression on the internet..... and it is just fuckin'..... not enough to see picturesque illusions from arrogant capitalist swine while asexually pounding out symbols with a keyboard.
This brings me to why I do not go for the whole fantasy based phone and email sex. I'm not asexual. I am heterosexual. Perhaps to a fault.
I dated a woman (who I felt very endowed to after going through an abortion with her) on/off online for nearly three years. It's just not enough.
I don't know. I just feel that if I could afford to actually look at profiles.... and communicate with members of this website (outside of the chance that someone might read what I have written in this blog).... it still would not be enough.
It would neither be communication nor sex... it would just be pornography heavily guised.... with the slight possibility that I might find some kind of success with meeting someone decent online for sex. I say decent. For the most part, I just see disease and control issues on the internet.