Evo and the incredibly insane adventures in the land of Walmart  

EvolvedLife 38M
9 posts
8/20/2005 11:54 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Evo and the incredibly insane adventures in the land of Walmart

Ever have one of these moments? I'm sitting at home and realize that I'm almost out of cigarettes and I need to pick up some stuff for my buddy J.C.
Jay is a 2 year old English Springer Spaniel that I adopted from the SPCA and was a hell of a find. Whoever had this dog before me must have been really heartbroken to give him up, he actually cleans the house! Seriously he picks trash up on the floor and takes it over to the trash can to throw it away without being told.
Anyway, since it's the nearest store I head up to the local Walmart. I figure 5-10 minutes tops.
Boy was I wrong. I have no problem getting what I need, but like an idiot I failed to grab a cart on my way in. 25 pound bag of dog food, toss that up on the shoulder, new rawhide bone for Jay, new flea collars for the cats, and oh yeah, the cats need food too so now I'm loaded up like a columbian coffee mule.
Ok, 5 items and I need cigs so the Speedy Checkout lane thing is great. Apparently its grocery day for Coatesville and the surrounding area cause the express lanes are stretching to the back of the store and the regular check out lanes wrap around themselves a few times. Plus theres only about 8 lanes open for some ungodly reason. So here I am in Speedy Checkout and things aren't going so speedy. The girl running the lane is slower then hell and the three people in front of me have WAY more then 10 items. The clock starts ticking by and the arms start getting tired. Then my cell rings...and the person leaves a message which causes the phone to vibrate at regular intervals in my pocket until I pick it up, which I cant do until I can get my stuff out of my arms. By vibrate I dont mean like how a pager vibrates, this damn phone could be a girls date its so powerful. At first its amusing and to be honest a little enjoyable, after 10 minutes of standing in line...now its annoying.
Eventually I have just 1 person in front of me and I'm able to unload my purchase onto the belt and shut my phone off. I'm almost in the clear then I hear those dreaded words from the customer in front of me. "Thats not the right price."
I feel like slamming my head down onto the conveyor belt. My 10 minute trip is now reaching the 1 hour and 30 minute mark.
Apparently this price differance is a whole 30 cents. After waiting another 5 minutes for someone to seek out wherever this item was found at I toss a dollar up to the cashier and ask if we can get things moving.
FINALLY my turn.
Cashier rings my order up and I ask for a pack of cigarettes.
"Can I see your ID?"
"Sure, here you go."
"This doesn't match the name I see on your dog tags."
WHAT!?!?!? Thats the first time I've heard that one, if nothing else I've gotten carded less since I started wearing them. Now I spend the next 10 minutes (no joke) explaining to the woman that the dog tags were my grandfathers from world war 2. I even point out to her the one tag that has his date of birth and death with a passage from psalm 23 on it.
Now I hit the parking lot, still no cart, 1 hour 45 minutes after I got there....where the hell did I park the car?


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