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I think I missed again
I think I missed again
You people that live in large metropolitan areas don’t know what you are missing.
I live in a small town in Northwest Arkansas. Ok, spare me the Arkansas humor; I’ve heard it all. I don’t worry about inbreeding; as far as I can tell I’m the only black man in the county so it’s a safe bet that I will not be engaging in any elicit relations with any close relatives unbeknownst to me.
What was I talking about anyway? Oh yea, small town. So my town has about 10,000 people in it. One problem of living in a town of 10,000 people; you know a lot of people, and more importantly, they know you. When you are the only black person that someone meets in a given month they will absolutely not forget your name. This can cause some problems with these online connection sites. I sure as hell don’t want to be coaching a 5th grade basketball game and have little Jimmy’s 12 year old sister tell me she saw me on some website with my fly unzipped. That is what we in the business call “un-cool”.
So I have to be discreet. It’s ok, you get used to it. There are some benefits though. I’m registered on a few different online dating sites and I keep seeing the same people. After all there are only 11 of us single people in this town. One thing about seeing the same people on different sites is that you can catch their lies. There is one really pretty lady who is 43 years old on all the other sites but she’s 40 here. Hmmm. Another cool thing is that different sites ask you different questions. AdultFriendFinder is very sex oriented and asks a lot of sex related question. Other sites ask more relationship oriented question. What is the deal when a lady says on this site that she’s just looking for fun but on another site says that she’s looking for marriage? Well, which is it.
There are other weird things too. I found out about a friend’s impending divorce because I saw his wife on one of the sites. What do you do then? Do you tell him? Does he already know? Yikes! I found out that my lawyer and her husband were splitting up because I saw his profile on a site. No, I’m not gay! I accidentally said I was a woman instead of a man. (That’s the lamest sounding excuse I ever remember using before. I’m not sure even I believe me.) It’s ok folks, I’m 69% pure remember.
Today was the topper though. I had just hot listed a gal a few days ago but I had not contacted her as yet. It was on another site where I am not a paying member. I was in Wal-Mart grocery shopping tonight and there she was! She must have thought I was some kind of wacko because I kept staring at her. We passed each other in the cereal aisle twice. She looked even better in person than in her profile and that’s not a bad thing. I had my 14 year old daughter with me shopping and I’ve been told that is not an appropriate situation to try and pick up women. Now I’m going to have to join that other stupid site so I can contact her.
This is the life I lead among the gentile race.
Gotta get back to my
2/26/2005 4:23 am
What a crack up! Hang on according to several renowned magazines among their many artcles on things we the redaers must know to be able to live in the worl! Supermarkets are the big new thing for picking up women!!! You have missed a great opportunity and all youi had to do was ask for some shopping advice buy something you don't need and saved a members fee on a site!!!|
Tala, Wizard of The Kingdom of BooBoBia, DEITY,
2/26/2005 8:35 am
Excellent post... I enjoy your writing style and those experiences are funny/true/interesting all at the same time. I look forward to reading more.|