Do these pants make me look fat?  

Eventually87 52M
9 posts
2/27/2005 8:03 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Do these pants make me look fat?

I was watching the Learning Channel the other night. They’ve got this show called "What Not To Wear" that is something to see. The show works like this: Family and "friends" of some poor sap report to the shows producers about what a terrible dresser the person is. Then they come and visit the person, tell them to their face what a terrible dresser they are, then throw all their clothes away while heaping insults upon them. Now they do replace the clothes with a $5000 shopping spree where they tell you what kind of things you should buy then insult you some more when you don’t follow their advise closely enough. I’ve seen the show a few times but I always had to agree that the people they picked were, in fact, terrible dressers. I could clearly see that and I’m not even gay.

Then the unthinkable happened.

No, I didn’t end up on the show, get real! But there was a guy on the show with my wardrobe. They ripped him to shreds! Does everyone in the world know that pleated pants are out of style except me?

In any case it was a little sobering. I’m no fashion diva but please; there must be something salvageable about my style. As it turns out, my underwear is very haute couture. Normally I don’t let things like this bother me. I’m 40 years old, well past caring what the other kids at school think. On the other hand I’m not quite ready to be hiking my plaid polyester sans-a-belt slacks up to the middle of my chest yet either.

What’s a man supposed to do? I’m trying to get back in the game you know; that’s why I joined this site isn’t it? Women always say that the way a man dresses is important so I guess I’ve got to do something.

I went shopping. Now understand, the people on the show get $5000 to shop and they fly to NY to these fancy boutiques. I had about a hundred bucks to spend at Old Navy. Not quite the same thing.

The whole thing was kind of pathetic really. Watching a one hour TV show, amazingly enough, does not instantly qualify you to have any idea what you are doing when clothes shopping. I’m actually looking at the mannequins trying to get ideas. Maybe that’s what everybody does but it was a first for me. $100 does not really go very far even at Old Navy. All I was able to get was a pair of jeans, a button up shirt and a couple t-shirts. In they end all the stuff I bought pretty much looks like what I’ve been wearing all along, so I’m not sure what I accomplished.

Maybe it will look better if I hike the pants up to my chest.

Das Nerd.

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