The Approach  

EthicalPlayer 43M
123 posts
4/26/2006 10:26 pm

Last Read:
5/27/2006 12:08 pm

The Approach

I planned on blogging a few days ago, but my wife stopped me with a pout, and the following quote, "But we agreed that you would service my vagina tonight."

I'm laughing now, just as I laughed then. Ya had to be there to hear the panic in her voice. I defy anyone to come up with a less tactful invitation to intimacy. Wait a sec... I forgot where I was for a minute. I've been in some of the chatrooms in here... I retract my statement.

But that got me thinking. Wouldn't that be an awesome way to negotiate sexual liaisons, as if we're trying to bind ourselves to a treaty? The applications of this tactic would be endless. Picture me and some hot chick at a dark oak boardroom table as I read from a legal document, "Pursuant to article 7 of subsection 12 in the third section of the Oath of Allegiance, you are obligated to tongue my balls while I massage your G-spot for 15 minutes, or until a point where full arousal is reached, as defined by the first section of foreplay arrangements." I don't know about you folks, but I'm sure horny now.

I'm probably making jokes about this to mask my uneasiness about dating again. I haven't quite gotten the hang of this new poly-friendly lifestyle wifey and I agreed to. Dating as a single man was pretty simple. Sneaking around on my ex-wife, though morally bankrupt and unethical, became easier with repetition.

But I'm really not sure how to approach a woman while happily married and free to explore other options. Do I say, "Hey, I really like you and I was wondering if you'd like to go out for coffee and maybe dinner. Oh the ring? Don't worry, she doesn't mind. I have permission. In fact, she encourages me to..." I've never had a drink thrown in my face, but I imagine this would be that point.

I also find myself wondering if wifey would really be cool about me being with another woman without her. We had a menage-et-trois with a woman before, but I was worried that wifey would be jealous watching me spread the thighs and arch the spine of another woman in front of her... so worried that I really didn't let my guard down and enjoy the experience as much as I should have. My fears proved to be unfounded, as wifey confided in me that watching me drive another woman into orgasm was quite arousing. Her only beef was that the other woman wasn't as bisexual as advertised, and didn't play with her as much as she had hoped. Otherwise, she was good with it.

Sure, I cheated on my ex-wife, but I rationalized my actions since I wasn't happy and I had asked for a divorce but was shouted-down. But this is different. I'm happy. I'm in-love. I have permission, but still, I drag my feet. Why? We've already established that I'm a lustful slut who relishes the infinite possibilities in infinite combinations, but there is a voice in my head, a voice that apparently still clings to society's traditional pair bonds, telling me that I am doing wrong... that I am hurting my wife.

I talk to her about this almost daily, and I always get the same response. "Look, I said it's ok, baby. How will I feel when it happens? I don't know, but if it doesn't happen at some point, I'll never know, and neither will you."

Makes sense to me. And I'm sure that, at some point, I'll give it a shot.

I guess that's why we have sites like AdultFriendFinder, but sometimes, even this works to my disadvantage. I have a quiet, passive, understated nature that often leaves me feeling awkward when I approach women on this site. It feels like, if this were reality instead of cyber-world, we'd all be knocking on random doors, exposing our naughty parts to strangers as they return the favor, engaging in stimulating conversation like, "Wanna fuck? No? OK, how about we be friends and trade nekkid pics and dirty jokes from time to time? Yeah? Cool. I'll talk to you later though... you're cool and all, but I'm really just lookin for someone to fuck right now. Peace." This is all well and good, but as a passive guy, these tactics seem a bit forced. I'm sure I'll figure out my own comfort level as I go along. As my mom once told me, "A closed mouth don't get fed."

I'll be opening my mouth a bit more in the near future.

I'm interested in hearing about how others approach their lust-interests on this site. Do others find it awkward and difficult, or is it second-nature? Describe some of your first successful AdultFriendFinder encounters.

LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
5/3/2006 9:42 pm

The fruit isn't forbidden does make things interesting. Just keep talking about it with the women you meet and one or more will understand and love it...


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