The perils of being honest and open...  

EroticallyRapt 55M
286 posts
6/2/2005 3:01 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

The perils of being honest and open...

I was reading an entry in bella_ 's blog in which she was answering a list of questions put to her by her readers. One question in particular caught my eye. More specifically, bella_ 's answer to it is what got me thinking. This was the question:

Why would you care what other people think?
-Good question. I think it stems from putting myself out there, all I feel, all I think and who I truly am. I realize everyone is entitled to their opinions, perceptions and beliefs but regardless of this I suppose it is my heart that dictates I am hurt otherwise my brain understands the reality of the insults.

Why, you may ask, was I interested in her answer to this question. It's because I also have a tendency to care what people think of me. I'd like to think that I go through my life without any concern for the opinion's of others. I try not to let their judgements affect me or the choices that I make. I think of myself as an individual - unique in my own way. But, I also know that I choose not to do many things because of what I fear that people will think of me if I did. Why? Because I also know that I am not always right. Yep, that's what I said Sometimes I defer to "society's" judgement on certain issues that I don't feel knowledgeable and/or experienced about. I choose the "safe" option and/or do the "right" thing. The problem with that is that many times the ideas about what is "safe" or what the "right" thing means is based on biased theory rather than actual life experience.

So, I try to push the edge of the envelope on occasion. Why? Because experience is the best teacher. It's one thing to understand what it's like. It's another thing altogether to KNOW. When I do something that challenges other people's ideas of what is acceptable, then - and only then - do I feel confident enough to judge for myself whether what other people say about it is valid, true, and worthy of my belief. Unfortunately, there is a down side to living my life like this. I have made many mistakes in judgenent when exploring the boundaries. I believe in self-reliance and accountability. So, I've had to accept the consequences of those mistakes and learn to live with them. It's not always easy. I've had to learn to deal with the judgement of other people about my life - whether I believed that they were right or wrong. I've found that the ones that stick around regardless of our differing opinions are the ones that are what I feel to be true friends. The rest are of no lasting importance, usually.

bella_ is right when she said that getting hurt by others is the result of expressing one's beliefs openly to a wide audience. If you were to ignore ALL of the feedback that you inevitably get when you are an open person, you would be what I would consider arrogant. Some of what you hear, especially if it's the same from more than one person must have some basis in truth. If you are in touch with your own feelings, you'll eventually be hurt by one thing or another. If you agree with what is being said, make the appropiate changes, pat yourself on the back and move on. I know, easier said than done. But, all we can do in the long run is keep trying and persevere.


keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
6/2/2005 9:26 am

Nice essay ER, thanx.


6/3/2005 2:48 am

Wow very well writen and powerful post ER, keep up the good work ER


papyrina 51F
21133 posts
6/3/2005 11:44 am

i'm a little too honest and rarely think before i speak,but i don't do this to hurt people,if people don't like what i say do or act,to a certain degree i don't give a toss,but if those opiniums hurt the ones who truelly care for me then i get hurt because there hurt,i like to be told if and when i'm wrong,not nice at the time but i can learn from it and improve my self(i hope)

I don't mind people gossiping about me either as while there talking about me there leaving someone else alone who may not be as strong to cope,

Nice post thanks

I'm a

i'm here to stay

EroticallyRapt 55M
336 posts
6/4/2005 3:30 am

Thanks keithcancook. I didn't realize that I'd wrote an essay
And thanks you, too blondeneedssex. There's more where that came from A big hug back at ya!
I do the same as you a lot, papyrina. Especially when I'm around people that I feel comfortable with. I think of myself as "honest to a fault", actually. I've insulted people in this way without ever realizing it. Interesting outlook about gossip, too. Thanks for the comments.

Barbiebunny69 43F

6/6/2005 11:05 pm

ER theres a line between a dissenting opinion and cruel abuse. To be stong wnuff to put oneself out there honestly is a true show of strength. Sometimes ones in quiet desperation or suffering take a shot. Mostly because its part of themselves that cannot stand.What do i know ima furball

EroticallyRapt 55M
336 posts
6/7/2005 1:19 am

I know what you mean, [blog mzhunyhole], and sometimes I choose to do just that - zip my lips. Keeps me out of trouble and employed Hopefully this blog will help me to continue doing that by expressing those thoughts here. I really like your blog, too, hun - you're so real in it. Like your pics, too Thanks for reading!

You're absolutely right, Barbiebunny69. Disagreements do not change the basic rules of common courtesy and tact. However, if someone does cross that line, all bets are off. Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire, I say. Just be clear that you're taking issue with the style, not the substance of their remarks. And such a sexy ball of fur you are...

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