portrait of a photographer....part 2  

Eros40 52F
141 posts
5/22/2006 9:17 am

Last Read:
6/2/2006 11:02 am

portrait of a photographer....part 2


So, now that we all know about my "disease"... lets take this a step farther. This blog may appear grim to some, but there really is a point at the end, I promise! "Grim" is all in the perspective......Anyone been keeping up on the supreme court hearings over Oregon's "death with dignity" law? Well, Oregon won again....thank you! For those that don't know what it is, it is the LEGAL doctor assisted suicide.... legally, a team of dr's prescribe a lethal dose of narcotics, the TERMINAL patient takes them (or not- stricktly their choice) when they have had enough and are ready to check out. Permanently. There are strict guidelines that must be followed by the patient and doctors in order for this to occur. But, it survived the scrutiny one more time. the reason I bring that up, is that even though I live in the Midwest, it is a viable option for me. I would have to establish residency for a minimum of 6 months in the state or Oregon, apply, etc. Lots of footwork to do. It goes back to my taking control over my own medical care. I will know when enough is enough. So, want to REALLY clear out a room? Just mention you are dying and or terminal. (we won't even get into the fact that we ALL die). Those words will silence a room like the old "E.F Hutton" commercials! Mention death in any conversation, and if people aren't running out the door, they are trying to change the subject, or they refuse to discuss it at all. probably why so many estates are fought out in court because no one thought to do a will.... it's sort of the taboo subject like sex...we don't discuss "such" things. Well.... WHY NOT? Death is like peeing, breathing, and taking a dump.... we ALL do it. No one gets out of this alive. The moment we are born, the death process has begun. It's a natural part of life. Might as well get use to it now before it becomes a shock! Now, in my case, I have not only discussed my final wishes for my family...I MADE them. My funeral is done...pine box and all (I'm being cremated), picked the Urn, the entire funeral is completed. Only thing my family will have to do is call the funeral home for a pick up and cut the final check if one is needed. I am also an organ donor. That is the most precious thing I can leave on this earth. Life or sight to someone else. Why not?! I'm not using them.... they would just be tossed out anyway. My goal with my life and ultimate death is for my children to have something that they can look back with a smile or a laugh....not tears. I've done everything I can to take the 'hardship" of the death out of the equation....no decisions, no guesswork of what I would want..... it's done. Just suit up and show up. So why bring up death on a sex site? How many here have found someone they really enjoyed, had fun, then POOF! they were gone? Did you go through the "Gee, I shoulda said", or "Gee, I wish we'd done...." So, what's the excuse NOT to say or do those things? Fear? Rejection? Get over yourself! We will never know the enormous impact we make on each others lives until well after one of us is gone. Period. I've met lovers on this site that we remain good friends today. I've met a couple that I can honestly say I've loved in my own way. I've also met a few I dont' give a rat's ass about! And I'm sure all the above is true in my direction as well. But, I've learned from them all...... sometimes it's patience (NOT my virtue, trust me!), honesty in communication, or that even though I think my life may suck at that moment (yes, going through that stint of "dying from") there is always someone out there that has it worse. Much worse. I wont' bore you with examples as I'm sure you've already imagined a few of your own. What is trajedy to one, is triumph to another. My being told I was going to die was THE greatest gift (next to birth of my children!)... Suddenly, I was forced to make a decision about my life. I was forced to make a choice to actually LIVE it..... I had to re-prioritize things.... school wasn't such a major deal after all, my family became more important than I had been treating them. Things that use to drive me over the edge? I hardly give them a 2nd thought today. It's not that important in the entire scheme of things. Make sense? So, If your doctor told you, "You have 6 months to live...better make it count"..... what would you do? Okay, so if you can do that facing death...why not do it now while facing LIFE?! Something to think about, eh? ...........may you all LIVE like you are dying.......and enjoy!!!.................E.

rm_trujillox3 38M/36F
4 posts
6/2/2006 7:50 am

Some of the ost beautiful words and one of the most important lessons you taught me in all the time I have known you and these very words played a major role in the "newest" phase of life I recently took on I know my challenges ahead are limitless but I also know the love and support of those challenges is infinite as well!
T3


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