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NO!!! Not that way!
I mean, do people really get off dating sites when they find what they preceive to be the ONE? From my own experiences and other stories.. it seems that people never really stop. Even when they get involved with other people and start a committed relationship...they still keep a profile or profiles active and open for chatting purposes. Is this acceptable? Is it ok to continue to chat and cyber with other people even though you are trying to start a new relationship?
Some say it is harmless and it means nothing...just idle BS. Is it really ok? Or is it the demise?
Are we really here for ONE person or are we here to feed our ego? Humm... geez lots of questions, huh?
My personal opinion is...I think the internet dating sites fuel the theory.."the grass MAYBE greenier on the other side". So..you met a guy or a woman.. and the sparks are there. You enjoy each others company and even share in several nights of intimacy and fantasies. Do you get off the dating site? I would guess that most don't. Cause "what if" the next guy or gal is better looking...has a bigger cock or bigger tits...or what if the next one has more stability... What if...What if...What if!
Therefore they are not committed to any relationship. But, even worse... what if you make the choice to close your personal profile and he/she doesn't. Can you really trust that the emails and chat is innocent? What if he/she gets a email that tempts him/her to actually met the other man/woman.. is that ok too. Does he/she tell him/her about it.. or is it part of the secret..shhusshhh!! After all what they don't know won't hurt them! Hum?
Granted this is all hypothetical. But, be honest how many people are in this situation now? Yep....millions. So when is enough ...really enough?
I was married to a man.. whom I did NOT meet on the internet. We dated for 10 months.. living together the whole time.. and finally married. After 3 months of marriage I found out he had many profiles and enjoyed chat rooms. His Yahoo IM had hundreds of people on it. Yes, you guessed it...he was meeting people behind my back. I addressed the issue over and over... and still he lied and cheated. After 4 years of the BS I divorced him. I was very reluctant to do the online dating thig since it was the fuel to my divorce. (It(internet profiles) is not the problem nor the cause of my divorce ... after all he (ex-husband) is a man and could have made better choices) But, I do not go to clubs or bars.. and I don't mix business with pleasure, so it appeared to be my only choice.
Now.. I am concerned about meeting someone and getting emotionally attached to them... in fear that they too can't get off. We all know it is a ego booster. Getting a email for a hot guy/girl and holding hopes that you might get naughty with them.. reap the rewards of our sexual fantasies.
But... can anything serious really come of all of this? What do you say when people ask how you met... "Ummm, I met him/her on a sex site. She/He had a huge cock/big tits and I had to have it". Or do we lie... "Oh we met at the mall...etc"?
Does any one see my point here? We are all human.. ok, some are not. But, for the most part there are alot of people looking to find ONE person to share a life together... laughter, sex, fantasies and so much more. Can it REALLY happen?
And if it does... can you really TRUST them to get off?
Food for thought...
3/7/2006 10:55 pm
I have thought about this as well. I have wondered that if you do find that special someone and on down the road your firends and relatives ask where you met. What do you tell them? "Uh yea, I met him on a sex website. He had this huge..... I had to have." Even if you leave out the huge cock or breasts, simply telling anyone that you met your soulmate on a sex website would be embarassing enough. Or do you lie to them? But if you lie to them are YOU really their friend? |
I think that one of the cornerstones of any relationship has to be trust. You have to trust that your mate goes to work and does their share to to their part to make the family successful whether it's providing it financial or raising the kids or keeping the house and family on the straight and narrow. You have to trust that they pay the bills on time, and on and on and on. You trust them with your heart in an unconditional way. You have to trust that your mate will not accept any temptations that life offers, which is constant. You trust that your mate will thrill you in the bedroom, on a vacation, at the mall or dinner table and everywhere else. If your mate says that he/she is off the dating and sex websites, you have to trust them. Trust is earned, not deserved.
I think that somewhere in all the crap there are some really good people on AdultFriendFinder. Barbara, I think you are a wonderful person and I really do hope that your new found friend is wonderful as well. I hope that I'm a wonderful person but I believe that judging that is up to other people to say. (whew. sorry about that. does that make sense?) If I ran across someone that may even be remotely possible to be the special someone, I'd get off AdultFriendFinder in a heartbeat and never, ever, look at it or think about it again. Ever.
The thing that really gets me, and this applies to men and women, there are some really great people on here. I see some women on here that I would EAGERLY give my last breath here on earth trying to make happy. We see them in everyday life as well, not even here. The thing that gets me is alot of these people are with these deadbeat, toothless, unemployed people with absolutely no aspirations to do anything in life except drink their next beer. I don't get it at all. I think I'm rambling long enough. I think it comes down to trust. I do trust that you will make the right decision on your new friend and what to do about dating websites.
Talk about PASSION, ROMANCE and EROTIC... CLICK HERE: greatguyintul
3/8/2006 11:15 am
Good question... and if this site is in the least bit addictive, is that addiction something that people need to be aware of and address before committing to a long(er) term relationship. 'Sorry that I have more questions than answers.
3/17/2006 8:18 am
I've been reading your blog and adding my two cents where I can. This post is one I feel deep to heart. My parents raised me to be honest. We talked about sex. We talked about drugs (70's). we talked openly and honestly about everything. That's how I treat my friends. Everyone has sex. If people judge you for looking for the right sex partner on a sex web site (instead of just trying every Tom, Dick, and Harry) they need to have it explaned to them, that this is a safer way to meet a compatable person. Yes you may meet a few assholes along the way, but is that any different than going to a bar. It may even be easier on this site people leave a trail of writen words here to other people.
As for staying here after that special one cums along. Again openness and honesty. Discuss why, I'm a voyer at heart. I love to watch, especially a woman masterbating. You prefer large dicks. There's a group called girls watching guys on cam cum. This group is very big and busy and the guys have some LARGE COCKS. To me I look at this site as a way to get a little closer to the fantasy and to interact with people with a strong sex drive like my own. Better, this is live, not recorded. But like all facits of life, it has to be agreed apon by both partners out of respect. If someone hides it from you something isn't right.