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How To Score A Barmaid ?
How To Score A Barmaid ?
It started as a bet with an old drinking buddy, but it turned into a real wake-up call. We were down at a new pub in Tribeca hoisting a few pints after a tough week of work and James, my long-time wingman, wagered me $20 I couldn't get the bartender's phone number. She was hot, but not otherworldly hot, so I took the challenge.
I reckoned myself some kind of expert on the subtleties of picking up barmaids, having written an article about it a while back. I stuck to every word of advice I gave in that column -- I didn't over tip or shower her with compliments, avoided chatting her up when it was busy and poured the charm on as thick as Jägermeister. But this girl had either read my article or built up an impenetrable immunity to customer's advances because I hopped out of the cab at the end of the night phone numberless and $20 poorer.
Of course, I didn't hang my head too low; it certainly wasn't the first time I had been denied. Instead of dwelling on it, I took a step back and realized there is even more to picking up a barmaid than you think. First of all, most of these girls are gorgeous (that's how they got the job). Secondly, they see guys at their absolute worst all the time -- prowling, boozing, fighting. So even before you open your mouth, they've probably got you lumped in with the rest of the typical lughead clientele. You've got to watch every step and choose every word carefully if you want to rise above this crowd.
It's not as hard as it sounds. Follow these simple guidelines and you might find yourself enjoying a lot more than free shots from your favorite barmaid.
be a good tipper
Don't be stingy with your tip, but also make sure you don't get sucked into showering her with massive, inappropriate gratuities. Either way, you'll come across as a tool. In fact, some unsavoury girls will work you like a first-year intern if they pick up on your vibe. They'll milk you for every penny they can, giving you just enough suggestive looks or hair tosses to make you think you're making an impression. And you are making an impression -- on her savings account.
The key is to tip her enough to make her notice, but not too much to make you look like a try-hard loser or a money-flashing goof. If I have to put a dollar amount on it, try tipping 30% the first time and at least 20% each time after that.
pick the right time
She'll be a little put off if you march right up to her when you first enter the bar and start chatting her up. You need to establish some kind of relationship first, even if it's just a casual banter. I found a great topic to use as an icebreaker is your mutual disdain for the cheesy guys populating the bar. This way, you distance yourself from the riff raff and get to show off your funny side.
The beginning of her shift is a good time to approach -- her frustration is at a minimum and guys haven't been hitting on her all night. It's the perfect time to lay the groundwork for later in the night. Build a casual rapport; make sure she remembers your face (and name) when the place is hopping and then back off a bit. Be patient; you aren't going to seal the deal in the first half-hour of her shift.
show your committed side
A lot of guys sabotage their chances with bar staff by falling into old habits and hitting on any girl they desire. It might seem obvious, but you can't let her see you making a play on other patrons. If you want to succeed, you have to commit to this. It's called a sacrifice.
don't be too eager
Don't lurk at the bar and creep her out -- act like it's a normal night out and you're not there just to work her. Spend too much time working her and she'll tune you right out. She's very in tune with guy's motives. You need to find the perfect balance between showing interest and giving her space to do her job. Find this blend (it really can't be taught, you have to feel it) and you'll have a fighting chance.
Drunken fools are not sexy. Stay sober if you want a chance
moderate your intake
It's simple: Don't get too drunk. Think about what you're doing as a job. You certainly wouldn't pound back five double rum and Cokes before a sales meeting, would you? With that being said, a nice light buzz can help you work it a bit more efficiently. Keeping it light shows her you can have a good time without being an idiot. She sees a lot of idiots on her job. Get too drunk and you are just one of those faceless jerks who gets between her and the end of her shift. This isn't a good thing.
spread the wealth
Show her how generous and thoughtful you are by buying a couple rounds for the boys. Not only does this show what a great guy you are, it also gives you more opportunity to gain a little face-to-face time with her, even if it is across the bar (and at the expense of your credit rating).
dos and don'ts
Buy her one of those roses that those opportunistic jerks try and sell at bars.
Keep buying her shots all night. She's probably not allowed to drink on the job and will just be pouring herself water and pocketing the money (or thinking you are the kind of guy that preys on drunken girls).
Ask her for complex drinks just to appear suave. She's busy and she's heard it all before.
Work up the nerve to seal the deal, preferably before last call (only the real hardcores close the bar down, and she probably hates those guys). Tell her you're leaving, but ask her what she does during the day. Suggest you meet for coffee or a walk, but make sure you get her phone number.
There is no doubt that bartenders can be extremely intimidating girls to court. Not only are they usually hot, they're also well-versed in the advances of guys. Most men would rather keep the relationship professional, with one side serving drinks and the other gawking from a distance. But for those who dare try, the reward can be a generous, thoughtful and fun-loving partner. If you want to join their rare ranks, heed what you read here and do me proud.