Never Leave Anything Unsaid - not only women bleed  

DustyWidget 59M
4382 posts
5/10/2006 6:11 am

Last Read:
6/5/2006 8:06 am

Never Leave Anything Unsaid - not only women bleed

My father died in 1979 aged 51 very suddenly and ever since then I have berated myself for leaving unsaid what I should have done. Stupid I know but that's me. I care.

My mother was taken into hospital early February and 'celebrated' her 81st birthday soon after and by 6 March was lying cold on a slab having been taken by a hard, aggressive, vicious, incurable form of cancer. But I am at peace. Why?

Because I resolved to do what I never had the chance to do with Dad. I sat there that Thursday in hospital with Mum shot full of morphine so much that she was away with the faeries and I opened my mouth and when I had closed it again I had told her everything she was to me (this is so hard to write with tears streaming down my face but I must say it)and why I loved her. She listened and said she loved me too.

That night I conceived a notion and sent the following to a dear friend:

Hi dear

It may happen that we don't meet again for some reason and it seems pertinent that I send to you the following as I would deeply regret not having told you.

I love you because:

You are extraordinarily beautiful:
actually
spiritually
mentally

I admire you for what:
you do
you are
your many kindnesses

We met at a time when I needed a really great friend and there are none greater than you. You have brought me peace at a time when I really needed it.

You know that I have striven to reciprocate willingly and it grieves me that I have never come close to suceeding.

You are and always will be a great friend and I will never say differently.

A friend and nothing more. Friends are family.

Never leave unsaid ...


catseyes23 61F

5/10/2006 7:54 am

No words to explain what your post made me feel, Dusty, my sweet.

I'm happy for you that you found peace by talking with your Mum until the end.


Cats


derobed 59F
17 posts
5/10/2006 8:21 am

As requested i added a little more....just for you


cookiequeen1000 53F

5/10/2006 2:01 pm

Just checking out your blog, came recommended. So far I like this post the most. Conga-rats! To have such peace and the bittersweet joy of a long good-bye....my, my, my. What a blessing. Thank you for sharing.


mycin62 54F

5/10/2006 9:54 pm

I know how you feel, I lost my father suddenly, even tho he had cancer, the timing was unexpected. By the time I made it to the hospital he was already gone. But, I've always felt that he knew how very much I loved him and I was happy for him to go so quickly and not waste away from the cancer (he was newly diagnosed). He and I were very close and shared many wonderful times together.

When I lost my mother, she lay dying for days, and I did have a chance to tell her how much she meant to me and how much I loved her. I was not as close with her as I was my father, so this was a much needed chance for her to know my love and respect for her.

So, I am at peace with their passing, but my job reminds me everyday to not leave things unsaid. ALWAYS tell those you love how much they mean to you every day


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