|Blogs > Ducati748Samauri > If mom could see me now...|
In the words of Kanye West:
"Unbreakable...what you thought they'd call me Mr. Glass?"
So as I'm looking up at the ceiling of the Medivac helicopter I'm thinking to myself: "Well what a great fucking way to start the weekend..."
My Law School boys Naye & Percy had come out from the city for the weekend and we'd gone out the evening prior until a rather unGodly hour. Upon waking the next morn, our pupils still reflecting the debauchery of the evening prior I decided to head off on the Ducati to grab us up some coffee and breakfast sandwhiches.
Being as it was to be a short trip and per my penchance for sleeping naked I threw on a pair of (unfortunately very nice) dress slacks that were on the floor from their use the evening prior and without a shirt, tossed on my Icon armored motorcycle jacket. Didn't zip it. Nor did I buckle on my suomy "Ducati" helmet.
I took off in the direction of the deli but decided to make a quick detour to my old job to grab my water backpack and Cole Haan sandals I had left there. Big mistake. The cops said I hit a patch of oil or some other semi-viscous shit. The end result was that I had to attempt to maneuver between a tree and a fence at 40 MPH as I departed the road into someones lawn.
Guess I clipped the tree casue the Duc went down HARD and I went flying forward FAST. Upon impact (most presumably I landed on my back but the next thing I remembered was being on my stomoch under a bush about 20 feet from the bike.) my helmet flew off carrying my Ralph Lauren script sunglasses God knows where.
I looked up and the people who's house it was were already at the door on the portable.
"Don't call the cops!" I yelled. They were like WFT?! "Don't call the cops!" I said again. "Okay...he's hangin up!" the wife said in a tone of voice like I had a gun trained on them or some shit. Nevertheless they arrived I swear no more than a minute later.
Standing up to greet officer McGuire prved rather difficult. As the impact site filled with blood (Hemotoba is what I ended up with. Apparently it's the medical term for "Large, red, baboons ass sprouting from your own." )I lost blood pressure and went down on my back. The ambulance arrived and my pants were cut away to reveal, SURPRISE, nothing but me. Neck brace was applied and I was told that we'd be at the hospital in 25 minutes.
"Kind of hopeful for Southampton this tim of the morning." I joked.
"No, we're going to Stoneybrook." I was told.
"Ummmmm, I don't have insurance dude."
Long story short, $30,000 of Medicvac, MRI's, and X-rays later another Law School friend Vin Dizzle from SMithtown picked me up and drove me back out to E.H. I told Nate and Percy to go out and have fun, I'd have a Guinness and get some rest. Nates cellie was dead so I told him to take mine, which he promptly proceeded to lose.
What a fucking weekend. At least I've got the Vicadin to get me through my workday...
I re-iterate. I am NOT making any of this shit up. Once I'm done with this it's off to eBay to look for Carbon Fiber fairings and a nose piece for the Duc...