Darwin Awards  

DrkWarlord 105M
38 posts
2/1/2006 9:01 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Darwin Awards


Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin
Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here then,
are
the glorious winners:

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended
victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber
James
Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the
barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.....

And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat
cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim
to
his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of
its
men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger.
The
chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his
car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a
woman
had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit
his
incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone
waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the
mental
hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and
prone
to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received
the
injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how
close
he
could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
the
man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the
clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled,
leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got
from
the drawer... $15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money,
is
a crime committed?)

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab
some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over
his
head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be
thief
on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made
of
Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
Within
minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car
and
drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and
told
to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer,
that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into
a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
open
the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion
rings,
the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man,
frustrated,
walked away.
A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home
parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.
Police
arrived
at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home
near
spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying
to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's
sewage
tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges,
saying
that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

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