Darwin Awards  

DrkWarlord 105M
38 posts
2/1/2006 9:01 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Darwin Awards

Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin
Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here then,
the glorious winners:

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended
victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber
Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the
barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.....

And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat
cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim
his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of
men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger.
chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his
car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a
had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit
incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone
waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the
hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and
to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received
injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how
could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the
clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled,
leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got
the drawer... $15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money,
a crime committed?)

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab
some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over
head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be
on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made
Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car
drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and
to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer,
that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into
a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion
the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man,
walked away.

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home
parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.
at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home
spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying
to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's
tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges,
that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

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