Home Depot: beyond Home Improvement...  

DragonPack 44M/39F
23 posts
6/14/2006 11:03 am

Last Read:
6/14/2006 11:16 am

Home Depot: beyond Home Improvement...

We're doing some severe home improvement these days. In the end we will have a playground of almost 55sqm/495sft.

Did we say playground? Sleeping room, of course.

While walking through our favorite home improvement store, we -- as usual -- had some thoughts completely unrelated to home improvement. Did it ever occur to you that those stores are indeed a cornucopia for the creative coitor?

(If you find a better suited word starting with "c", let us know )

Or, to rephrase the question: how much do you guys spend on sex toys?

It's amazing how much that stuff costs, just because of the "kinky" sticker on it. Snap hooks for instance. Ever noticed that more than one sex shop asks about twice the price of what you pay at the next Home Depot or similar? Same goes for chains.

Spreader bars are another thing. Sure, you can get them nicely welded from a blacksmith specializing in BDSM toys. But take a trip to the plumbing department of your favorite home improvement store instead, keeping your eyes open.

Tubes of 1m-1.50m/3ft-5ft, 1/2" or 3/4", readily threaded -- and you even get nice T-ends for them. 3 parts, almost no costs, and they make perfect spreader bars. No sharp corners, nice and round. Sure, you have to thoroughly clean them to get the machine oil off (although some others might get a kick out of the smell), and maybe you want to spray them black (no, other colors are not an option ), but for a fraction of the costs who is going to complain?

Mouth rings for several ten Euros/Dollars? Home Depot, we say. But for some strange reason you will find them labeled as curtain rings (if you prefer plastics or wood) or swing rings (for the metal-lovers). Now all you need is some leather (or your material of choice), washouts, and a buckle. And if you think that mouth rings suck but Gags rule, the handicraft dept will happily sell you smoothly sanded wooden spheres in various sizes. (Oh, you prefer elastic ones? Sorry, you need to visit Toys'R'Us for those )

Nipple rings ... No need to pay ludicrous sums on those tiny little pieces of silicon. Just head back to the plumbing dept and check out the gaskets. Just don't let yourself be caught trying them on

No, really. You get rather strange looks when you head for the tube clamps to see if they fit around your partner's wrists. Or checking out the proper ring size ... Mouth, that is

And this is just the stuff you can get with almost no handicraft work.

Now, as a result of today's visit we're now proud owners of a circular saw bench and a miter-box saw. Why restricting ourselves to cutting panels and timber planks?

Pillory, here we come!

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