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The Most Powerful Tool In Hair Care
The Most Powerful Tool In Hair Care
Some of you may have heard about that ball-player in Pittsburgh that had a motorcycle accident last week. He was riding a Suzuki Hyabusa at the time and it is worth noting that the Hyabusa is a member of a very small family of bikes designed for 200 MPH speeds. This year Kawasaki is building a faster bike but not by much and I'm sure Suzuki will have an even faster Hyabusa for next year.
With that in mind: Road Rash Industries is proud to introduce the most powerful tool in hair care ever devised. The Hyabusa Hair Dryer.
Ladies: have you ever stepped out of the shower only to realize your daily commute does not allow for you to fully dry your hair? With the Hyabusa Hair Dryer this dilemma will never trouble you again. "But how, Dowd, will my long, luxuriant hair ever manage to receive enough care to dry my prized mane in my short commute?"
Simple. Just straddle the Hyabusa, start it up, and you now have (someone please correct me if I'm wrong) over 400 horsepower at your fingertips.
"Wow! That much power to dry my hair?"
Yes it's that easy. Our patented system blows an intense stream of air at 200 miles per hour over your entire body. With the Hyabusa Hair dryer, we guarantee not a drop of moisture will survive this powerful hair care tool.
"But I style my hair before I go to work."
No problem. The Hyabusa Hair dryer dries, and styles your hair into that windswept look that is sure to turn heads wherever you go.
"But, Dowd, my commute takes so long. How will this affect my commute?"
Good news, Ladies. With the Hyabusa Hair dryer we are certain even the most lead-footed driver will shave minutes off their commute.
"But, Dowd, I'm a guy. Will this work for me as well?"
(Shut up boy! I'm trying to move some pussy!)
That's right, Ladies, with the Hyabusa Hair dryer you'll never need another hair care product again. Say goodbye to those puny and dangerous electric hair dryers littering your powder room and swing a leg over a Hyabusa today!
"I used to get up two hours before I went to work just only to spend thirty minutes in front of my mirror and another forty minutes in the car. With the Hyabusa Hair Dryer I can get up twenty minutes before I need to clock in and still have time for a sit-down breakfast! Thanks, Dowd."
"I could never get in gear in the morning. What with my three kids, breakfast, dropping them all off at school and getting to work on time, I usually looked like a mess when I walked into the office. But now with the Hyabusa Hair Dryer, I can drop off all the kids one at a time, and have time to make passes at the High School boys before I walk into work looking fabulous."
Have a caffeine problem? The Hyabusa Hair dryer will give you a boost of energy like no other stimulant. We put this woman who normally drinks six cups of coffee before she even takes her morning shower and put her on the Hyabusa Hair Dryer for ten minutes after her morning shower. Let's listen in on her way to work:
Even in stop and go traffic the refreshing power of the Hyabusa Hair Dryer can chase away those morning blues. Let's listen in as we put the same woman in downtown Houston rush hour.
"Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!"
"Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!"
"Ho, Gawd! Ho, Gawd! Ho, Gawd!"
That's right! Arrive bright and alert every morning in record time! And your hair will look great!
The Hyabusa Hair Dryer! Put some real power between your legs! New from Suzuki.
(I know this is probably in bad taste, but that's my point. No one in their right mind should ride one of these monsters without a helmet. Anyone who's ridden for long will tell you that it's not a question of IF you'll lay the bike down but WHEN. On this fast of a machine that time is likely to be a bad one. So please wear a helmet and live to talk about it."
Declaimer: This product is not endorsed by Suzuki nor should anyone attempt to bring all that drying power into the confines of a standard bathroom. Serious injury will result along with irreperable porcelain damage and tread marks that are a bitch to get out of the tile floor.
6/16/2006 6:46 am
6/16/2006 6:58 am
Did I mention the afterglow of a good ride? Do you have trouble with getting color in your cheeks? With the Hyabusa Hair Dryer arrive at your destination in the morning flush and satisfied. Stride into work confident that not a speck of makeup was needed to make you look drop-dead-gorgeous.|
Don't be fooled by cheap imitations! Our proven quality and track record (under nine seconds in the quarter mile) beat all comers. Remember when you strap this mother on we guarantee satisfaction!
(Jersey, Amber, I'm glad you liked it. Take care.)
6/16/2006 7:09 am
Free, glad you liked it. Remember Road Rash industries also offers the Kawasaki Concourse 1300. Offering all the power of Hyabusa Hair Dryer with the added comfort of shaft drive for those unavoidably long commutes.|
(All in good fun. Take care.)