A loving hand  

Dowd3 42M
45 posts
5/12/2006 8:34 am

Last Read:
6/25/2006 9:26 am

A loving hand


I was brought up in a "hands-off" family. We didn't hug, kiss, or so much as touch one another. When I arrived in at college, I met a girl who was all about casual contact. The first time she grabbed my hand I almost jumped out of my skin. The first time she hugged me it was so alien it's difficult to describe. Once she took my coat off in a manner that sent chills up my spine. She just placed her hands on my chest and ran them over my shoulders and off came the coat. Never before or since has this simple gesture been performed on me even though I love it.

I was her friend, no more. Although I did lust after her (and saw her naked a few times) we never managed to fall into each other. I still know her today, and there is trust between us (except her driving skills leave much to be desired.) But I owe a great debt of gratitude to her. I never knew what I was missing until she reached out and brushed my skin.

While a great deal of that contact sent amorous thrills through me, a quiet relief overwhelmed my body. It was as if I had been waiting for an embrace all along. Touch is more expressive than most realize. In a forum like this, touch is on the emphatic end of the spectrum. Sure sex is touching on a most intimate level, but what about the more expressive ways we make contact? The way we shake hands, the many forms of an embrace, the playful little swats on the ass, and, my favorite, the hand sent to rest on a shoulder to announce your presence.

Going up the scale we arrive at the brush past the face, and the tantalizing breath in the ear. All of these hold meaning that foster different emotions in us. In a way culture frames what will evoke feelings in us. In my case it meant I had a lot to learn once I was introduced.

What kind of touch do you crave most? Is it sensual? Is it reassuring? What simple gesture reaches inside your soul and strikes a chord?

Dowd3 42M

5/13/2006 3:37 am

In truth I'd like to hold someone all night long, but a curious thing happens to me when I sleep. My body heats up. I'm don't mean sexually, I mean my nickname given to me by my partners is "the furnace." My ex could come in from a sleet storm and be unable to cuddle with me. My wife can bear it for no more than a few minutes before she pushes me away (she does a lot of that anyway.)

As for reassurance, thank you. I was looking for the right word and totally missed it. The reassurance that a simple touch, caress, or embrace gives me is a deeper need than I realized in the beginning.


rm_sexxielynn 52F
72 posts
5/13/2006 3:18 pm

I too grew up in a physically distant family.
I have grown up to love to be touched. Sexual touches are grand, but like sweet says, the little touches are sometimes as good as the grand hug.


Dowd3 42M

5/15/2006 8:07 am

How did that change for you? I know how I was introduced to it, but how about you? Was it a gradual thing or was it an overnight process?


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