To Everything There Is A Season...  

Divinitydesires 46F
4872 posts
2/20/2006 5:35 pm

Last Read:
3/7/2006 7:22 pm

To Everything There Is A Season...

Music... "Turn, Turn, Turn" by Wilson Phillips

Recently, a friend told me I was almost there. And I replied, "But I can't see it. How long do you think I have, years?"

He replied, "No, it's just a matter of months now."

"I don't see that at all. I don't see it being just months away but rather a good year."

And here I am today, to tell him he is right. It is just now months away before my life might starts to settling down.

I have been on one hell of a roller coaster for well over a year now, many of you know what I have been through, many of you can only guess, many of you don't care (and for those who don't, I don't blame you, I wish I didn't care either. )

It was well over a year ago when a small rumor about me caught hold in my family. I thought I had resolved the issue, but I hadn't and this lie grew. It grew so bad that by March of 2005 my ex stopped touching me, by August, after I tried to desperately fix the issues, he left and by the end of October it became a permanent situation.

I do not know if his intentions were meant to harm me or not but when he left he took half my business with him and for the last few months I have been struggling on bread crumbs to survive.


Two things the man did not know about me after a 11 year relationship.

One I am a survivor!

And two I believe in me!

When I joined AdultFriendFinder back in October I felt like a baby, rediscovering who I am... asking those really hard questions of myself.

What was it I could have done to change the outcome of my life at this point?

What did I do wrong?

Who am I?

Where am I going?

What do I want?

Am I ready to be single?

And more....

I have learned that Im a very sensual person and also very erotic. I love that about me and you guys help bring that out in me. Thank you.

I also know I am not ready for any kind of a relationship at all. In fact, I'm really down on the idea of 'love' in general. And here's where I'll admit to you, KC_JJ that I might fall in love... but I doubt it.

I have also learned that it's okay to tell other's my problems, because someone, even here in blogland, might have some bit of information or advice that can (and HAS) help me.

So here I am today...

A different woman then I was 4 months ago but I am still me.

Why am I writing this long post???

Because for the last few months I have been in a very dark cave, wondering around searching my way through. I decided it was now time for action and so I moved forward until I felt a wall. I didn't see light, and today...

I see a small glimpse of it. A very small glimpse of it.

I sent out resumes on Friday, my second batch this month and hadn't heard from anyone until today when I was asked to come in for an interview. After a 2 hour drive (I'll explain more of why it was so long in just a bit) I arrived 20 minutes late. Not a good start!

The interview went well, I answered the questions perfectly. At the end of the interview, the lady said, "As far as I'm concern, you're hired and can start on Wednesday."

I almost hugged and kissed the lady I was so happy, but I smiled and said, "Thank you so much."

That was a huge step for me... and I sit now in tears, happy that I can see the light at the end of this very dark cave.

But I still have to inch my way forward, it'll be extremely tough between now and when my first pay check comes in, but I am happy, I'll have one soon.

But a job is only the first part of my plan... moving is the second one. And that should be easy now that I have a job with a steady income (I feel like I'm counting my chickens before they are hatched, but I really do have the job, they really want me!!! )

And here is where I am today with AdultFriendFinder and blogland...

Because I am moving, which is an hour and half away from here I choose to find a job in that area, which I did today. The commute, until I move will be a two hour drive one way. It'll be okay... It'll put a lot of distance between me and ex and this is what I want and have always planned to do.

I will need to leave my house at 6 in the morning and I won't get home until 6 at night... doesn't leave much time for my kids, the house, paying bills, and tending to life in general.

So, as my life is changing... I think my time here in Blogland is going to be affected too... I don't know how often I will be on but I know I won't stop blogging all together. This is such a great release and self discovering place for me.

I hope all of you will understand that I'm not avoiding any of you... but my time will be limited on here from now on (expect tomorrow, which I plan on commenting like hell).

I also need to let travelingintexas know that just because my time might be limited doesn't mean I'm giving up on my quest to prove that you are really a woman.

Thank you everyone for reading my blog...

caressmewell 53F

2/20/2006 5:43 pm

Congratulations Sis!!

I know that this will really take so much stress off of you and I am proud of what you have accompolished these last months. I love you! Thank you for always being there for me.

rm_kelli4u2dew 41F
5220 posts
2/20/2006 5:51 pm

Congratulations!!! I went through something similar almost 2 years ago. It's hard, and it can cause you to doubt yourself, but like you, I survived. I found a job, now I'm moving, and my ex can stick it where the sun don't shine.

Good luck, hon. I'm pulling for you!

ticktock500 43M

2/20/2006 6:05 pm

{=}good luck on your journey

PassionKisses4Me 44F

2/20/2006 6:11 pm

Congrads on your new job and moving forward with your's so hard I know, doing the same thing myself...hugs to you and good luck with all that you deserve to be happy girl...go for it!!!



crazygurl2xx 56F

2/20/2006 6:16 pm

Talk about parallels... Wednesday I start a new job too after 3 months of being unemployed and 6 months of every kind of hell you can imagine.

Good luck and congratulations to you!

Kaliedascope61 41M
4084 posts
2/20/2006 6:23 pm

You never know how far you can go, until you start walking with your eyes open.

rm_clitoral_man 51M
605 posts
2/20/2006 6:32 pm

Woo Hoo!!! CONGRATs on the job and all Div!!! Am [i}so[/i} happy for you that it's all coming together Sounds like you've caught a wave of good karma to ride...I hope it's just the start of much more more happiness, success and peace for you.



2/20/2006 6:40 pm

Hey divinity,

Congrats a plenty on the job acquisition. I knew you could do it and would do it quite soon. I'm sure you'l be even more of an asset to this new job than they who hired you now even realize.

I had no idea that you might consider our discussions on that topic even worthy of a passing mention so it makes me think that the exchange we had concerning it was in some way meaningful or significant. But don't think that I'm done with that topic yet.

Anyways good luck dealing with all the work you'll now have on the immediate horizon havong to do with both getting to work and locating a place to live.

PS. Will you now be closer to Sacramento?


fantasylover_05 62M

2/20/2006 6:56 pm


I am absolutely THRILLED you have some posiive things hapening in your life!!! I could not be happier!!!





rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
2/20/2006 6:57 pm

YAY!!! A light at the end of the tunnel. And of course Texas is a woman, no man can talk as much as he/she can.

angelofmercy5 58F
17881 posts
2/20/2006 7:38 pm

Divinity....being someone here who has also experienced some tremendous self discovery....and painful at times....I rejoice in the positive direction your life is taking. I feel like I just found your blog....and you're not going to be here. But life is more important .....and you are going to live it to the fullest. I just hope that you will check back in whenever you can here and let us know how you are doing. Love to you! Best of luck.

climbmelikeatree 47M
80 posts
2/20/2006 7:43 pm

Somebody once said something like to know ones self is the hardest knowledge to find. Glad to hear you are finding that knowledge. Apparently people are picking up a positive vibe from the change.

digdug41 49M

2/20/2006 7:58 pm

hey DD thats great I am so happy for you so now you will be able to breath a little easier I know it was rough for you and I know the feeling I went through it at the end of last year I hope that we will get a chance to communicate befor you are too busy cyaroun I hope!

roaming the cyber streets of blogland

UnpinAfireFaust 57M

2/20/2006 8:25 pm

I'm happy for you Divinity! I've also decided that changes were needed in my life but will say they aren't on the same level as what you have experienced. Good luck with the new job, the moving and I hope everything keeps working out for you!!

MaggiesWishes 59F

2/20/2006 8:29 pm


Congrats on the new career move! Will be sending ya some of my best wishes for your new adventure. Let me know when the house warming party is.


rm_goddess1946 105F
13518 posts
2/20/2006 11:30 pm

sending you love as change is in the wind!
you go girl! {=}

Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...

shyknight2005 42M
163 posts
2/21/2006 2:20 am

So happy for you milady...know how important this was for you and wish you all the luck in the world. Let me know if you need help with anything.

im_your_man77 39M
961 posts
2/21/2006 5:01 am

Congrats on the new job, enjoy and make the most of the new lifestyle change it will bring.

RockPebble 69M
2476 posts
2/21/2006 7:32 am

Congratulations and good luck.

rm_Sylent72 44M

2/21/2006 9:49 am

Congrats on the new job! There is a saying that says the journey of a 1000 miles begins with one step. I probably jacked the saying up! I love your blog...I just discovered it a couple of weeks please dont stop posting.

Sulabula 45F
12658 posts
2/21/2006 11:49 am

Congratulations on you new job and your move...I know it will all work out for you

Sula xxx

come visit my blog

aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
2/21/2006 12:54 pm

Again, Congratulations!!!

rm_emmie234 52F
608 posts
2/21/2006 2:39 pm

WOOHOO!!!! You go girl!
THis is my first time dropping by, and I must say this post is v ery inspirational! Good luck along with the survivor attitude in belief in self will allow you a strong path!

rm_PurryKitty2 48M/49F
9753 posts
2/21/2006 6:15 pm


you do what is right for you.

You definetly inspire me sweetie

Purry {=}


hansumtalldark 53M

2/21/2006 7:46 pm

Yeah Baby, Youre a survivor, What a rush! Congrats on having the guts and grace to move on it style. I love your SEXY Reality! Hugs and Kisses,

wantonwill 60M

2/21/2006 8:38 pm

Ah, the candy...light and figures....just when I find a real nice blog (not that the others arent, but i've been avoiding reading yours for days i think) and now you'll be spending far less time here...well, hon...hat's off to you...good on ya.....I know of a few AdultFriendFinder bloggers who are still in that cave you were in...and they are miserable...let em know....get the hell outta that cave....pack up, move on and quit fallin into the pity pot! Best wishes...I'll keep the light on for ya!


im_curious_4u 50M

2/21/2006 9:32 pm

I'm still smiling sweetie. This is great news.

Just my luck my post follows a weiner pic

rm_bigchoklatdk 45M

2/21/2006 11:22 pm

Congratulations on the new job Divinity!!!
Sky's the limit babe!!!

campfirecozy 66M

2/22/2006 12:32 pm

Be sure to allow some time for yourself in the transition...your friends here will understand that you'll never be a stranger, even if you're not around as much.


rm_VoodooGuru1 49M
2053 posts
2/22/2006 6:58 pm

I'm very pleased for you, sweetie.

mysteriesofme 44F

2/24/2006 2:44 pm

sounds like a true hero to me..

rm_DC932 57M

2/24/2006 10:45 pm

Congrats on the new job!!!! I hate to admit it but i had the original album when the Byrds released Turn! Turn!, Turn!. First album I bought as a kid.

vilmac2 47F

2/25/2006 3:27 am

Congrats hun and i wish u all the luck in the world i know how hard life can ve sometimes xx ! Hope you can look back and laugh at it someday !

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