Sex It Up Essentials  

Divinitydesires 46F
4872 posts
1/15/2006 12:58 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Sex It Up Essentials

So I decide I need to have sex. Come this March it'll be a year and I'm very horny. Well... I'm sure all of you know that by now. Anyways, I decide to surf the net and I ran across this...

Every bedroom should contain a "treasure chest" (lockable if you've got children around) containing your own spicy set of pleasure and foreplay enhancers. The following should be readily available:

1) Lubricants and massage oils. If you're using condoms use only water-based types. Oil-based lubes can damage condoms. Also, be careful to avoid getting any oil inside the vagina. This may cause irritation. I've seen heated massage oils... I wonder if they work well.

2) Sex toys you enjoy. Hot damn, purple vib comes out to play. Wooo Hooo!

3) A blindfold -- preferably of soft, satiny material for comfort. *giggles* For him or me?

4) Erotica to read to each other or films you find stimulating. Read to him? Now this is hard to do. I read one story and I think he'll cum. He won't be able to handle it. But I'm game if he's up to the challenge.

5) Stockings or soft ties for bondage play and a pair of handcuffs. *giggles* For him or for me?

6) A feather or "brush" for playful touching. Now this could be very erotic.

7) Little sexy surprises for your lover. A silky thong, some surprise stockings, fun chocolates or "love dice." Okay... I can do that. No problem. Where do you find the love dice? And do I have to wear panties? I hate panties.

8 ) Dental dams, plastic wrap, and condoms for safer sex. Don't forget some latex gloves for sensual stimulation of the anal area without scratching your lover with your nails. Dental dams? Plastic wrap? Latex gloves? Am I seeing the dentist?

9) A box of luxury tissues and/or a soft cloth for "cleaning up." Beach towel or two will be just fine.

10) And in the fridge, erotic edibles that you love, such as cream, yogurt, jam, sauces, honey and jelly. You'll find that sticky things such as jelly and honey feel fabulous on the genitals when gently warmed. Test the temperature on your inner wrist and then smooth it on and lap it off. And BANANAS!!!!!

Okay... looks like I have almost everything.
*looks around*
I'm missing something.
*looks bewildered*
*sighs*
That's right, I need a lover.
*sighs again*
Damn!
Any one want to be my lover? Men?


warmandsexy52 64M
13164 posts
1/15/2006 4:46 am

Wow! How thoughtful and considerate of you! I don't have to think of these things when I pack my bag! warm xx


caressmewell 53F

1/15/2006 5:30 am

I won't be your lover. I need one for myself


expatbrit49 62M

1/15/2006 5:50 am

Um, did you foreget the digital camera or video camera lol as for the question I am off to check my airline points

Thank You for Your Time and Attention


keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
1/15/2006 6:22 am

well, you still have the bananna...


MaggiesWishes 59F

1/15/2006 7:38 am

<~~ checking list

#1 ~~ ok... and warming liquids do work and nicely too.
Biosilk is really nice also.
#2 ~~ checked and ready
#3 ~~ long red slik scarf, perfect for the "him or me" moment
#4 ~~ hummm... tricky, have to agree with you on this one, Divinity
#5 ~~ stockings ... uummm... the white or black ones? OH, don't forget the shoes, too.
#6 ~~ a single rose or flower, allergic to feathers ... oh, him????
#7 ~~ fresh batteries for the camera, and it has video too. Wooohoo! garters and crotchless panties, checked and ready
#8 ~~ had the yearly screening with the dentist, condoms or finger cots work well ... can be fun too. Hummm... how you gonna taste the honey if you can't get to the pot???? Damnable dental dams.
#9 ~~ Towels and warm hand towels ... that feels so nice.
#10 ~~ already went shopping, fresh fruits in the fridge, goodies galore!

mmmm... Nothing like being prepared like a good " Sensual Girl Scout" and no one to earn her badge with .... **sighs**
::wonders about the expiration dates?::


HORNYVIKING722 44M
1023 posts
1/15/2006 7:41 am

as an intellegent, mature response to your last question written in blue, "OH, OH, OH PICK ME! PICK ME!"


Green_Tea_Boy 49M
1064 posts
1/15/2006 8:05 am

damn Divinity...a year is too long...I'm on my way....

ps don't forget the mangoes...


oldman1776 78M
3164 posts
1/15/2006 8:28 am

This is be kind to old folks week so you should pick this oldman.

He sure needs some love.


rm_Ptalk1155 34M
3450 posts
1/15/2006 9:01 am

Seems like an awful lot of prepwork...


RockPebble 69M
2476 posts
1/15/2006 12:53 pm

Aren't you in Las Vegas? I'll be out there in a couple weeks...


im_curious_4u 50M

1/15/2006 1:53 pm

1) Lubricants and massage oils ~ I was told I wouldn't need these.

2) Sex toys you enjoy ~ Yes we'd play with your purple friend, but (that's but with one t not two) it's not going in an exit hole.

3) A blindfold ~ I prefer paper bags. Two actually just incase one rips. Ok that was an old joke.

4) Erotica to read to each other ~ No no. You would be telling me one of your own stories and I'd tell you one of mine.

5) Stockings or soft ties for bondage play ~ How am I going to be able to tie you up when I have a bag on my head? how will I see?

6) A feather or "brush" for playful touching ~ I'll just use my tongue thank you.

7) Little sexy surprises for your lover ~ like yelling out your sister likes it like this?

8 ) Dental dams, plastic wrap, and condoms for safer sex ~ I'm all for being safe but if I need a HazMat suit to fuck someone I'd rather pass.

9) A box of luxury tissues and/or a soft cloth for "cleaning up." ~ Yeah a towel is fine. We'd take a shower together anyway.

10) And in the fridge, erotic edibles that you love, such as cream, yogurt, jam, sauces, honey and jelly. You'll find that sticky things such as jelly and honey feel fabulous on the genitals when gently warmed. ~ Hold the phone here. Cream ~ Whipped cream yes, not the kind you put in coffee. Yogurt ~ Not! I'm lactose intolerant and even more intolerant of gross runny liquid like things. Jam ~ No thanks. Those strawberry seeds would get in the crack of my ass I just know it. Sauces ~ WTF like picante sauce? Ouch!!! I'm not making a burrito here. Jelly ~ See Jam above. Honey ~ Won't that attract bees?

BTW you already know what my answer is regarding if I would want to be your lover.


rm_clitoral_man 51M
605 posts
1/15/2006 2:09 pm

Any one want to be my lover?Uhmm, is this a trick question?! *checks for pulse* *heart is beating...pulse is quickening...hmm, also a familiar warm, swelling and throbbing sensation* ...YES!!! Well, only if there's a hard back chair involved at some point, and some shower fun.

I have to admit, I might hesitate for a moment if you want to use your whole list at once...not sure how much actual sex can occur (or reading erotica and playing with purple vib) when wrapped in plastic, wearing a thong, stockings, dental dam and latex gloves, while blindfolded and bound, covered with lubes, oils, cream, yogurt, jelly, honey and sauces (have no clue where the feathers and love dice fit into that situation) ...seems more like something out of a Monty Python skit than sex; but, with you Divinity it would be worth a try


rm_atacan23 36M

1/16/2006 5:19 am

SALUT


Rockhard2x6 54M

1/16/2006 12:45 pm

Most of the massage oils and lubricants do seem to really heat up, but they do warm up very quickly as to not feel cold when you apply them. Therma-del-sol makes a very good massage oil the most women love to smell. It warms quickly, almost instantly when poured into the hands, and smells like an italian spa.

Love the blind-fold thing though.

Wish I had some sex-toy experience to share.


rm_CalyTaz 43M

1/16/2006 9:31 pm

I have a set of love dice, acually I have 3 different sets. Let's roll the dice and see what happens.


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