If Dr. Seuss Was A Woman  

Divinitydesires 46F
4872 posts
12/12/2005 10:27 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

If Dr. Seuss Was A Woman

If Dr. Seuss Was a Woman

I'm glad I'm a woman -Yes I am, yes I am.
I don't live on Budweiser, Beer nuts and Spam.
I don't brag to my buddies about my erections;
I won't drive to Hell before asking directions.

I act nice at parties; don't act like a clown;
And I know how to put the damn toilet seat down.
I won't grab your boobies; I won't pinch your butt.
My belt is not hidden beneath my beer gut.

I don't go around re-adjusting my crotch;
or make sure my headboard bears each hard-earned notch.
I don't belch in public; don't scratch my behind.
I'm a woman, you see- I'm just not that kind!

I'm glad I'm a woman; So glad I could sing--
and thrilled I'm not covered in shag carpeting.
Hair won't grow from my ears, Or cover my back.
And when I bend over You can't see my crack.

I'm a woman, alas-- and I'm proud, don't you see?
I'm blessed to have two boobs and squat when I pee.
I don't live for golf, or shoot basketball.
I don't swagger and spit like a Neanderthal.

I don't need male bonding; I don't cruise for chicks--
I'll never join the "Hair Club", or think with my dick.
I'm a woman, by chance And thankful I am!
I'm so glad I'm a woman, Not a man, yes I am!

dasher121 36M

12/12/2005 11:26 am

very very funny, great Doc Seuss type ryme

oldman1776 78M
3164 posts
12/12/2005 1:51 pm

It is very cleaver. and I love your eyes.

Wickednshameless 38M
11 posts
12/12/2005 3:41 pm

Thank you for this enlightening checklist of things NOT TO DO ;}
And just for the record (not that my male dignity is bruised) I know more women who belch in public than men.

im_curious_4u 50M

12/12/2005 9:15 pm

I needed that laugh tonight DD. Thanks!

sidewinder123xxx 45M
131 posts
12/13/2005 2:46 am


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