Dating Reality Check  

Divinitydesires 46F
4872 posts
10/24/2005 6:37 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Dating Reality Check

Today is one of those days were I don't have much to give and I need some humor in my life, so I thought that todays entry should be simple, yet funny. Here ya all go...

Ever wonder what your partner is really saying? Here is what they say, and what it really means...

Did you come? = Because I didn't.

I have something to tell you. = Get tested.

I'm a Romantic. = I'm poor.

I'll give you a call. = I'd rather have my nipples eaten off by wild dogs than see you again.

I never meant to hurt you. = I thought you weren't a virgin.

Trust me. = I'm cheating on you.

I love you. = You're a good lay.

I think we should just be friends. = You're ugly.

Haven't I seen you before? = Nice ass.

I want to make love to you. = Let's fuck.

Was it good for you? = I'm insecure about my manhood.

We need to talk. = I'm pregnant.

I had a wonderful time last night. = Who the hell are you?

I've been thinking a lot. = You're not as attractive as when I was drunk.

I've learned a lot from you. = Next!

I want a commitment. = I'm sick of masturbation.

I think we should see other people. = I have been seeing other people.

Let's get married. = Now can we fuck?

We don't have to do anything until you are ready. = Put out or get out.

I feel it's time to express our love for each other. = Give me head.

I still think about you. = I miss the sex.

Is there something wrong? = Is it supposed to be this soft?

You're so mature. = I hope you're eighteen.

It's never been like this before. = It's my first time.

Yes...Yes...*scream!* = Aren't you done yet?

DallasPhallus56 60M

10/24/2005 1:10 pm

These are hilarious. Somewhere I have a list of "What they say in the singles ads and what they mean." It zings both men and women equally. For example, for women:

Athletic=Fat, but trying to lose it.
Literary=Read a book not too long ago.
Animal lover=Crazy cat lady.

For men:
Athletic=I watch ESPN constantly.
Successful=Two paychecks away from the street, not one.
Cuddly=Fat, and more body hair than a bear.

And so on.

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