It was only yesterday  

DiscreetFunCMH 50M
62 posts
8/19/2006 8:45 am

Last Read:
10/9/2006 6:47 pm

It was only yesterday


or so it seems, she made her grand entrance into my life. Yelling, screaming, not happy at all with the world or with being here. I took her, I held her close. We sat in a rocking chair together and I calmed her down. From that first moment I looked into her eyes, those Big Blue Eyes looking back into mine, I knew, and I think she knew. I was hers. There was no getting around it. I was being wrapped around her little finger, forever hooked. From that day forth, there would be nothing she could or would do to ever diminish my love. Nothing could be done that would ever unwind me from her finger.

As the years have passed like minutes, we have enjoyed many a roller coaster ride together. Both literally and figuratively. The ups and downs life has thrown our way. The growing pains of living on this Earth. I have cared and loved her like no other in my life or in hers. Our bond special, irreplaceable. No substitute will do. No it's not been perfect, but now, all these "minutes" later, I'm still wrapped around her finger without question and most definitely without regret.

Only yesterday, I took steps that are filled with emotion. Not wanting to let her go. Knowing she must leave to spread her wings. To fly as I have taught her. No these steps aren't exactly permanent, but they are the first steps taken to what will eventually be. It is after all, unavoidable, inevitable. She has moved away. The majority of her belongings packed, loaded. I drove, fighting the tears, fighting the memories, fearing the future. This day was marked on the calendar since that very first day. But I never thought this yesterday would come. You know it will. You hope it will. You plan for it. You talk about it. But all the while you are in denial that it will ever really happen.

Life goes on whether you want it to or not. This morning I sit here in silence. The sound of the keyboard and the hum of the computer the only sounds breaking the deafening silence. No music, no laughter, no yelling, no arguing, no discussing. Today, some eighteen plus years since I was formally introduced by the doctors, my baby girl did not wake up under the watchful care of her daddy. She's in college now, living her own life as she always has, but now, on her own. Daddy is filled with pride, filled with a sense of loss. Filled with hope for the her future and fear of whether I've prepared her for it.

You never feel like you are getting older. Each day passes like the one before. The changes so subtle and go unnoticed. Then one day you open your eyes and say "wow, where has the time gone". My son is still around, upstairs sleeping still like all teenagers do on a Saturday morning. But daddy's little girl woke up in a new home and daddy sits here.... thinking...remembering...saying... 'It was only yesterday...'

SacredStarDance

8/21/2006 4:04 pm

awwwww the growing pains of when they leave the nest.. tis how I got on A.F.F.. careful now..

I truly hope you save a copy of this and give it to her on either her wedding day or your first Grand child to pass on..
beautiful soul you.
gonna have to put you

under the stars

under the stars
We choose to write
you choose what you comprehend.
read twice and be nice
every key stroke... has a heart beat


libgemOH 56M/52F

8/21/2006 6:40 pm

With my son home this week, I've been marching hard down memory lane, remembering him as the little boy that he once was!!! It doesn't get easier, just different!!

And by the way, I used to introduce my daddy by holding up my pinkie and saying "he's the guy wrapped around this!!" -B


DiscreetFunCMH 50M

8/22/2006 8:09 am

    Quoting SacredStarDance:
    awwwww the growing pains of when they leave the nest.. tis how I got on A.F.F.. careful now..

    I truly hope you save a copy of this and give it to her on either her wedding day or your first Grand child to pass on..
    beautiful soul you.
    gonna have to put you

    under the stars
That is great advice, I will copy it out and save it someplace appropriate for that next special day.


DiscreetFunCMH 50M

8/22/2006 8:14 am

    Quoting libgemOH:
    With my son home this week, I've been marching hard down memory lane, remembering him as the little boy that he once was!!! It doesn't get easier, just different!!

    And by the way, I used to introduce my daddy by holding up my pinkie and saying "he's the guy wrapped around this!!" -B
couldn't agree more with things being different. She spent much of the summer working and running here and there so she wasn't around much, but she still was "here". There is definately a different feel in the house now and I most definately don't like it. I'll get used to it eventually but I don't have to like it.


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