The Cunning Linguist...  

DerFleidermaus 49M/45F
0 posts
7/20/2006 6:11 am

Last Read:
8/7/2006 8:45 pm

The Cunning Linguist...

Well, I'm going to be a bit lazy here, and post a thread that appeared last fall on myspace.
Someone posted a list of "rules" to orally satisfy a woman.
I realized that the writter had good intentions, but was a bit off base, so I reposted it with my own notes inserted.
After she rread it, the lady I was involved with at the time re-re-posted again with her spin on it too.
I hope you enjoy it!

~*~ Fellas...this is a must read!! And for my fellow daring open-minded ladies, this could be invaluable as well because contrary to popular belief, it is not always best with a woman because women supposedly know what women like. The truth is...all women are different!! Different techniques work for different ladies. The following is not meant to be taken as gospel, but rather some excellent general suggestions with which to vary according to your particular partner. I can tell you, though, that the additional advice from the "DerFleidermaus" is right on...he knows exactly what he is talking about. Trust me, I can vouch for every word!!! ;-P ~*~

((( A Short Note From DerFleidermaus..."Men, and you adventurous ladies, here is where Age and Experience swiftly overcome Youth and Stamina. I have taken the liberty of reposting this article, with the audaciousness of adding a few notes of my own hither and yon. You can spot my lines by the inclusion of a smile at the start and end of each comment. Enjoy what there is to learn here and you will be doubly rewarded for your diligence! --- DerFleidermaus )))

Kinda graphic, but need to know this stuff.

Pussy Pointers! Hope ya learn something!

Eat Pussy Like A Pro!!!

What woman doesn't love to be expertly eaten out? Oral sex done right can take your partner to new heights of pleasure, but done wrong it can be an ordeal for both of you. Munching rug should be no great mystery. These tips will introduce you to some of the basics of cunnilingus and help you go down like a pro. Don't forget to come up for air!

1. What's that smell?

While some folks prefer their poontang to be on the gamey side, for many people, fear of a funky odor or taste is the chief barrier to going down on a woman. All women do have a distinctive scent and flavor, and for some would-be cunning linguists, these may be an acquired taste. However, if your partner is clean and in good health, her taste and smell should not be unpleasant or overwhelming. If you have concerns about her hygiene, the most tactful approach is to suggest a shared shower or bath before sex. If after a good soaping, her pussy still smells like something crawled up it and died, or she has unusual discharge, she probably has an infection and should see a doctor.

I can't argue with this one! Just remember to be tactful when recommending a change to hygiene, or GASP! a visit to the OBGYN.

~*~ Very true...if it is that bad, then something is wrong and needs to be treated...even if only for health reasons. ~*~

2. Work your way up.

Take your time when you start to eat pussy. Get her warmed up with some basic foreplay.kissing, fondling, etc. It.s better to go down on a wet pussy than a dry one. Once she's aroused, make your descent. Try kissing and tonguing her ankle or the sole of her foot. Then kiss and lick your way slowly up the inside of her leg (the back of the knee is a good erogenous zone, too). Tease her a bit more by kissing and tonguing her inner thighs. Blow some air lightly over her cooter. She'll go nuts.

A word to the wise...There is NO SUCH THING as too much foreplay. She will tell you when to stop. When she does, listen and be prepared to follow any and all instructions. If you don't; your efforts move swiftly from romantic to cruel.

~*~ Personally, the feet can be left alone...but otherwise extensive exploration is always appreciated. ~*~

3. Get acquainted.

Once your face is up in her crotch, don't dive straight for her panic button. Explore the whole area with your mouth. Gently probe with your tongue and locate her vagina and clit. Suck on her labia. Get your whole face messy.

Now this is just gross. A cunning linguist needn't look like s/he just finished 1st at a pie eating contest. Exploring and becoming familiar with the object de jour is, of course, the point of this stage, but here, instead of crudely blundering about, use light yet assertive probes to test for a positive response. And for the love of God and your partner: Do Not Be Afraid to ask her what she likes, requires, and desires.

~*~ Your face does not need to resemble a glazed doughnut. Again, a little more exploration here is wonderful. On another personal note, sucking on the labia/lips does absolutely nothing. The rest is fantastic for building a little more anticipation, but don't leave the button waiting for too's probably already on fire by now! ~*~

4. Get busy.

Now you want to go to work on her clit. The key is to use your tongue and lips to suck and massage it gently. Don't poke at it or press too hard. Go in circles, go up and down, flick back and forth lightly. There is no real *right* way to go down on a woman; just make it up as you go along and pay attention to what works. Vary your speed and pressure and see what she responds to. When you hit the right groove, you'll probably know it because she'll grab the back of your head and clamp her thighs around your ears like a vice. But to be on the safe side, ask her beforehand ( STEP THREE ) to let you know what she likes. Once you hit her hot spot, there's no need to rush; just keep her engine revving. Feel free to explore some other techniques or positions before you take her over the top.

Or you can use the multiples cannot give too much at this point. If you have the skill to take her where she wants to go from the onset, vary your technique SLIGHTLY in the next round, and look for a positive / negitive response. Hopfully, you will be sharing this adventure more than once with her, and your ever-increasing skill at pleasing her will be rewarded for both of you!

~*~ Tongue flicking the clit is the key!! Not too hard, not too soft. Here again, depends on the woman. Here comes another personal note: just straight sucking on the clit is frustrating and is counterproductive...However, applying pressure around the clit with your lips while still flicking with your tongue...OMFG!! ~*~

5. The ABCs.

This is perhaps the most common tip when you eat pussy: use your tongue to trace the letters of the alphabet on her clit. Some people swear by it. Personally, I don't recommend it. I don't think it's a good technique. Also, it's too much of a distraction, and if she catches you humming the Alphabet Song under your breath, you're busted. You should be paying attention to her, not what comes after Q.

I have rarely had a lover who didn't enjoy this technique. As a bonus, it is a spectacular time to show her your lighter, playful side. Who cares what comes after Q? Start over if you get stuck. Or better still, TELL HER what you are doing, and how much you enjoy doing it. Don't be afraid to hum a tune as you lightly suck/lick/nibble on her button. The resulting vibratory sensation will have many benefits of its own.

~*~ This is a good one for most...hell, try the chinese alphabet!! LOL If you don't know it, make it up!! It doesn't matter what you're spelling out as long as your tongue is working that clit. Furthermore, try focusing on the top of it right where the hood starts...for me at least, that's the pot o gold! ~*~

6. Use your hands.

You can create some wild sensations for her by stimulating her clit with both your fingers and your tongue simultaneously. Also, most women enjoy a finger or two in their cunt while being eaten out. Insert your fingers with your palm up, cock them up slightly, and stroke toward you in a "come hither" motion to hit her G-spot. A finger up the ass will also drive her over the edge if she's into anal play. (As always, to avoid infection, if you put something in her ass, make sure you don't put it in her pussy afterward.)

An awesome suggestion. One addition ~ before going near the rear door, ask her if she enjoys this type of stimulation. If she responds in the negitive, AVOID this area or you will destroy your efforts to this point. If she is unclear in her response, do not attempt to penetrate her anus from the outset. Lightly trace a lubricated fingertip around her anus and look/listen/feel for a positive response. If she gives you the greenlight for more adventure, BE KIND! Remember the Golden Rule here - Do you want a finger SLAMMED up your little buddy? And if you are truely of an adventurous nature, take the time to travel here during your oral experiments. She will let you know in VERY specific terms if she wants you to continue from here or not.

~*~ times. All 3 sensations at once can be incredible (tongue on clit, 2 fingers in pussy, and one gently in the rear). Sometimes, though, the first two are all that is called for. Trial and error with lots of communication before, during, and after. ~*~

7. Stick out your tongue.

You can also use your tongue to penetrate her. You can tongue-fuck her by moving your tongue in and out, or by keeping it stationary and bobbing your whole head. For bonus points, try stimulating her clit with your nose while your tongue is inside her.

You cannot drive a new car off of the lot without sticking the key into the ignition, true. HOWEVER...once the engine is started, it is the varied application of pressure to the accelerator that moves you down the road. Exploring her vaginal orifice will have rewards (esp. if you enjoy her fragrence and flavor) but there is much more to be gained by maintaining a steady attention to her clit.

~*~ Amen!! Don't wear out your tongue too much exploring the inner need to reserve most of your stamina for the clit. But enjoying the taste and making the effort off & on to savor as much as possible can be a huge turn on in and of itself. ~*~

8. Let her ride.

Put a pillow or two under your neck and let her sit on your face. This gives you a nice view of her tits and gives her a degree of control over pressure and position. Let her grind her juices all over your mug.

This is a nice variation to the technique, but again, communicate with your partner. The courage to ASK and the wisdom to EXECUTE will ensure your eventual mastery of her desire.

~*~ Eh...this I can take or leave...but it can be nice for an ocassional twist. If you would really like her in this position, though, tell her and I'm sure she would be happy to accomodate...especially if you've executed all of the above. ~*~

Have fun and play safe, don't forget to breathe!!!

Thank you for giving a slight consideration to my own, humble point of view. LAST NOTE...I cannot say this enough...If you do not know, ASK her! She may not be able to look you in the eye and say, 'Flick my clit with your tongue while you finger-bang my pussy!' but her non-verbal responses to your questions will speak volumes to the skilled lover. Carpe Deim!!!

~*~ Amen again!! Communication is cannot read each other's minds. Learn to be intuitive...listen and feel for signals. If they are unclear, ask her!!!! If y'all can DO it, you should be able to talk about it!! ~*~

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