My Darling T....  

DefiniteTrouble 50F
2839 posts
9/19/2005 3:48 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

My Darling T....

To: travelingintexas
Background Music: Theme from "Deliverance"

My, how the words you left on my voicemail sent shivers up my spine. The wrong kind, dammit. Your sexual undertones toward me, your sister, did damage that may not ever be repaired. Oh sure, I laughed hysterically. Diet Coke spewed from my nose. I wet myself. Until I saw Mom glaring at me like the lunatic I have become.

I've spent the past 2 hours trying to convince the "professionals" she contacted on my behalf, that no, I didn't need any "in-house" treatment. Hell no, I'm not putting on that white jacket with all the buckles. For God's sake, I don't wear white after Labor faux paux.


Anyway, the whole horrid ordeal is over now. I think we should focus on your therapy. I have made a list of things for you to add to your ever growing 200. Things we've discussed privately, but you may not be willing to reveal publicly.

That's right...I'm Tellin' Dammit!!!

5 Things You Don't Know About T
(But might have assumed by now...)

1. He has a fascination with his sister's body parts. Just sick. Sick I tell ya. The stories I could tell would make Jerry Springer blush. The only family member who condones his sick behavior is our uncle-grandfather. I'm so ashamed I had to disguise my identity. (see pic)

2. He got banned from Starbuck's 3 weeks ago. That's right...banned. It wasn't the fact that he was doing the one-handed typing thing in public. It was the mess that the employees were having to clean up...customers ROFL as they peeked under the table to see what he was playing with...flavored coffee's spilling everywhere. Nope, they couldn't see anything but his hand. Must be a little booger. "I'm at Starbuck's...Imagine That!" Bullshit.

3. Heterosapien? Bullshit! It goes waaaaaaay beyond that. Has been talking about the option of transgender surgery for weeks. That's right. He wants his own private coochie, between his own damn legs. we all didn't see this coming.

4. He has a fancy for marabou particular color. Just ask barbiebunny and sj365. We saw it with our own eyes. T prancin' around on his toes, naked, wearin' nothing but feathers and glittery eyeshadow. barbiebunny giggling as she whispered "He looks like Big Bird," sj365 heaving over a trash can. Me? Well I was taking pictures for the family album. But that's beside the point.

5. The real reason for the blue dot? It conceals his red eyes. Yes, RED. He's the Devil I tell ya...the damn Devil. Who else calls and leaves a 30 minute voicemail, knowing damn well my server won't let me delete it until I've listened to the whole thing??? The words "boobs, boobies, boobages, boob-i" being spouted repeatedly. (shakes head) And Mom thought I was the one who needed the pills...

And by the way, my darling brother, be very glad I couldn't figure out how to transfer the voicemail to my voice intro on my profile. No instructions needed guys, but thanks. I had to delete it for Mom's sanity.

(fierce glance to the corner of the room)

What the hell are you laughin' at "Mr. Innocent"??? I have a few words for you as well. In regard to the slightly subtle, yet provocative voicemail you left that very afternoon, all I can do is reference a comment you made not so long ago to me. "You can't stalk the willing." Ditto.

Bring it on, baby...bring it on.

Erotica? Humor? More about me? Index 1 , Index 2

ThumbChickStool 33F

9/19/2005 4:59 pm

Oh no... do I need to mediate? I've got plenty of practice, and I'm not afraid to strong arm either one of you. I'm might be little, but dammit, I teach taekwondo and can do some damage.

On a lighter note, I want to see the two of you duke it out. Might be fun.


DefiniteTrouble 50F

9/19/2005 5:14 pm

(bumps head on table)

ROFLMAO - he said it was 2's a mole...ROFLMAO

(calls to have # changed)

rm_sj365 55F
2414 posts
9/19/2005 8:20 pm

its true..scariest thing i've ever laid eyes on. im still having thinking maybe hypnosis might help....andbody know a good hypno-therapist?

SJ * who still breaks out in hives at the thought*

DefiniteTrouble 50F

9/19/2005 9:50 pm

JTB, lol - we live it here daily as you see.

DefiniteTrouble 50F

9/19/2005 9:54 pm

Native -

Have to make a point of meeting you next time I'm out that way, lol.

I'll have T in tow...fill the kiddie pool full of Jell-O and we're on...

DefiniteTrouble 50F

9/19/2005 10:01 pm

Just hold me Jez...hold me...

(NO can't watch...hummmmmmmph!)

DefiniteTrouble 50F

9/19/2005 10:03 pm

See what you did to SJ??? Happy T????

And where the hell is da Bunny? See what you've done???

sick...just sick...

barbiebunny 36F
5597 posts
9/19/2005 10:38 pm

U know i did have a thought about Trav as big bird in a feathered black robe...... *shudders**

Its good to be...ME

DefiniteTrouble 50F

9/20/2005 12:05 am

lmfaooooooooo Bunny...

Now shhhhhh...still working on perfecting cyberhead...I'll be back

ThumbChickStool 33F

9/20/2005 1:00 am

Alright, DT, the kiddie pull is filled and waiting. I'll even have one filled with mashed potatoes just for extra fun!


DefiniteTrouble 50F

9/20/2005 5:28 am

Native -

Thank you for making mine and T's BlogSmackdown dreams come true! He'll be the one in pink tights and lipstick...I'll be nude.


DefiniteTrouble 50F

9/20/2005 5:29 am

T - quit whining boy bitch...(smack)

(nuzzles Jez) na na na na na na....

(Princess Lips)

9/20/2005 8:11 am

* hands out the bop em sock em boxing gloves*


DefiniteTrouble 50F

9/20/2005 8:47 am

ty Red...

dano6332 56M

9/20/2005 8:47 pm

Wow Trav your my buddy and DT and 5 are some sort of item (just not exactly sure what yet but a lot of "bring it ons' flying around)so not sure who to root for. I am thinking Don King would sell pay per view though. Trav I think you understand the sort of relationship I have with my sisters now that I see how you react with yours, kinda fun isnt it. DT are you coming for the party with Trav?

DefiniteTrouble 50F

9/21/2005 12:49 am

LOL Dano...omg I hate having to bite my tongue.

What party???? (glares at T)

ThumbChickStool 33F

9/21/2005 12:10 pm

Don King is trying to convince me to let him handle this fight. Somehow, giving him 70% of the profits sounded a bit much. And pay-per-view doesn't want to touch this grudge match. Something about girls gone wild or something. I dunno

DefiniteTrouble 50F

9/21/2005 6:58 pm

Hmmm...I think I know who would make an excellent promoter. Let me contact him. I'm sure I could "barter" out his fee.

Don't blame pay-per-view..."Girls and Big Bird Gone Wild"...what a visual...ew.

SJ? Trash can please. (yanks it away) Give me the damn thing!

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