I'm Infatuated  

DefiniteTrouble 50F
2839 posts
8/1/2005 6:02 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

I'm Infatuated


He slipped in like a thief in the night, not looking to take from me what I would not offer, but giving of himself instead, tearing down my guarded wall, piece by piece, allowing him to journey inside where so few have walked before.

Gently seducing me with his brilliant mind, arousing all my senses within, stimulating emotions I do not understand nor care to explore,
choosing to surrender to him what I can now offer.

He never ceases to amaze me as he effortlessly takes my breath away.

rm_Rx4fun05 53M

8/1/2005 9:50 pm

I hope it works out for you.....

DefiniteTrouble 50F

8/2/2005 4:16 am

Thanks. I have a REALLY good feeling about this guy. He seems so amazing, and we appear to share many common interests. Sex or no sex, we'll enjoy one another's company tremendously. Even during football season, lol.

rm_Rx4fun05 53M

8/2/2005 1:57 pm

This lover in "two nights"....what kind of wine did he bring with him to your rendezvous?

DefiniteTrouble 50F

8/2/2005 8:48 pm

lmao. It was an Australian Merlot, I believe. Researching the best way to charm a girl out of her panties? I consider myself somewhat of a wine connoisseur and assure you that most any wine consumed in large doses will loosen up even the most uptight of women. One suggestion...avoid the boxed variety. A straw won't reach the bottom successfully often inhibiting the consumption amount. A bottle is much easier to turn up and finish off. My suggestions? An Italian Pinot or Merlot, or perhaps an Australian Merlot or Shiraz. Hope this helps. Let me know if I can be of any further assistance.

rm_xiomatic 50M

8/10/2005 5:23 pm

After reading your statement posted here, I'm wondering if you have found your knight is shining armor, are you continuing your search on AdultFriendFinder? A honest opinion given to me from a very wise individual said " to look for one is worthy, the search of many is foolish when there is only one worthy..." My understanding of the opinion was more in the way settling or not to settle. So in your search for one, have you found what you are searching for in another and the rest are merely playing second fiddle to a Ghost?
I notice you have an exquisite taste for medium body wine as well.
Hope you had a wonderful day...

DefiniteTrouble 50F

8/11/2005 4:28 am

My quest is continuous, although a knight in shining armor isn't necessary. As I've said before, it is a revolving door process. I have encountered many men on here, and NO, that doesn't mean sexually, that have been adorable, witty, charming, etc., but when it came to chemistry, it just wasn't there.

I love the quote you shared, and find it quite true. Obviously, I haven't found exactly what I'm looking for, and I refuse to settle for less than such. But, I must be worthy of this person as well.

No one here is playing second fiddle. This is simply a forum for entertainment and discussion. There is someone, however, who has caught my eye at this point, and I'm anxious to see where that might lead. We may meet and find the chemistry's not there, or we might find ourselves so enraptured it will be impossible to remain composed in public. One never knows until the actual face-to-face. What has culminated over a period of weeks could end within a matter of seconds, and the revolving door begins to spin again...

And yes, I have a fondness for wines of all types. I have a nice collection ranging from inexpensive to outrageously priced. Any true connoisseur will tell you it's not the price that makes the wine, it's the age, preparation, and vineyard that makes it stand out. I have found many $10 bottles to be just as, if not moreso enjoyable than a $250 version. I like to relax while sipping wine and either painting or writing. It helps with my creative process.

rm_xiomatic 50M

8/11/2005 10:44 am

Words eloquently spoken from a woman with a definitive demure. The true sense of knowing ones goal and achieving is the distance one is willing to travel in life. I couldn’t agree with you more with your comments of the revolving door. I know too many people willing to settle from less then their ultimate partner due to security or situation in life where someone is afraid to live life. Another lesson in life I have learned. “ Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.” I refuse to live my life in a BOX, just to arrive safely at death…

Glad to hear your search is continuing and your eyes are not closed to potential suitors. In trials of life, I believe at one time or another, all have felt the disappointment of expectations built before first face to face meetings. Another sadistic lesson of life we all learn the hard way. Chemistry and attraction are traits one can not put into words or even describe to another. It is a feeling that is either there or it isn’t.

As for the wine, guess I’m the logical type (if that wasn’t evident before), and always thought it was the company you kept while consuming instead of the wine itself…

Take Care…

DefiniteTrouble 50F

8/11/2005 8:34 pm

Thank you for your kind words. True, there is no such thing as real security. Have I spent my life thusfar searching for the ultimate partner, or soulmate, if such exists? No. I believe those paths are destined to cross at some point, and a constant search for such would be overwhelming. I realize there are those who allow circumstances to prevent two such people from spending the rest of their lives together. I am not one of those people. When the day arrives, I will embrace fully the opportunity to experience true happiness, inner peace, and the chance to love unconditionally the person who is meant for me.

I think outside the box, therefore I live outside the box. I choose to live my life to the fullest...daring, adventurous, always discovering and learning. I'll be one of those who slides into death like bat out of hell, every possible breath and energy exhausted.

As for the wine, my selections are often based on the company I keep, with their preferences in mind. However, if two people enjoy one another's company enough, no wine is necessary...

DefiniteTrouble 50F

8/19/2005 11:57 am

"Who is it?"
"Is it me?"
"Is it one of the bloggers?"

As to who I'm "currently taken with,"...will you guys quit asking, lol? I'm not going to reveal that! Some things are meant to be shared, some aren't. This info isn't.

rm_nickkadams 50M
21 posts
8/20/2005 12:39 am

Trying to pursue an online relationship may be the polar opposite of pursuing a face-to-face relationship. It seems that the two different options start in the reverse order. In the real world, physical attraction can be a trigger, and it can proceed from there. If physical attraction initiates the interaction, and there is enough beyond that to proceed, then it can only get better. Here you get to now a person inside and then out. And in that order there is so much anticipation about a meeting and then you meet with high expectations and if the other person isn't close to the vision, the fantasy, then it fizzles from there, with disappointment all around. I guess I have yet to experience love at first sight. All of my most intense relationships have been those that have culminated and been cultivated over time. The time may be two years or two hours. I have met incredibly attractive women that after seventeen words I'm looking for an escape and I have met women that months I would pass and nothing, but after two years they would redefine sensual and sexy for me. I have met women that I wouldn't give a second glance to, but in two hours I am captivated. So how does one sift through all of the varying emotions and options? I guess you could look at maximizing your own personal pleasure and experience. Or I'm sure that there are different criteria for everyone. Personally I have chosen minimizing regret to decide on what options to pursue. As I am burning is a fiery crash I don't want to be thinking, gee I really wish that I had IMed Definite Trouble, lol. If I don't pursue this moment will I regret it forever? For me it comes down to gotta know, not winning or having the most notches in my belt. I have had a lot of really great sex in my life, but it has never been the first time with a new partner. But after the first time, the experience can escalate exponentially, and the sometimes the second time was incredible. Seems like after that first time you both get comfortable enough to really get down to business, or decide not to. Not that the first time wasn't good, hell, it's all good, maybe an exception or two. But it gets gooder from there. And as far as no strings attached, no emotions and all that kind of stuff, after living most my life and before getting hit with it, I have found out that I don't really have any control over those things. I can't believe that I went as long as I did without finding out how bad all that stuff can fuck you up, but I did, but now I know. I really don't worry about that up front. But what I have learned was how to be honest with myself and someone else, and how to really communicate with the other person. It's been my experience that being clever and eloquent just makes you vague, you can never be to simple and to honest. So now I just try to take it a pace that is comfortable for everyone, be straight forward, honest and find out where it goes.

DefiniteTrouble 50F

8/20/2005 10:51 pm

Nick, WOW. Where the hell did all that come from? Geez...shot the nickname "Mr. Vague" all to hell, lol. It's very late, and I only just discovered your comment here as I was about to crawl in the bed. I'll get back to it in the morning and contemplate it further.

DefiniteTrouble 50F

8/21/2005 5:52 am

There are times when I think encountering someone for the first time online might be the best option. As you said, you get to know someone a bit better, and you do so without judging based solely on appearance. You have the opportunity to pick and choose based on your common ground. If you develop strong enough communications between the two of you on here, finally meet face-to-face, only to find there's no physical attraction for whatever reason, hopefully you'll both continue to enjoy the friendship without any disappointments or expectations being shattered.

Meeting someone face-to-face first can be more complex. Sure, the physical attraction comes first...no surprises there. But, getting to know someone after can be a tough process. After all, how many of you men, after getting to know a woman, have chosen to ignore any dislikes you may have for her, or complete differences you have, simply because she has a great set of hooters? And women, how many of us have chosen to ignore the fact that he's a complete sexist ass simply because he has the body of Adonis and an above average tool? Yes, the physical attraction is there, but it doesn't off-set the fact that this person has a shallow mind, tendencies of a psychopath, or isn't compatible with our ideals and goals in life.

Love at first sight? Does that exist? I have experienced a deep connection at first sight, but never love. It was only after, as you said Nick, we took the time to cultivate our relationship that love developed. Yes, the attraction was instant, and we both had a sense it was more than physical, but it took time for us to get to know one another on a deeper level and only then did our love grow. Our first meeting was 17 years ago, and we were instantly taken with one another. However, it wasn't until 4 years ago that we decided to act upon our attraction and move forward into an intimate relationship. The foundations had been built slowly over the years, we had become best friends and confidents, the thoughts of us taking it a level higher always in our minds, and the topic of many discussions.

No, it's my opinion, as I've stated over and over again, that truly satisfying sex can't be achieved in one night. After all, you're exposed to one another's bodies for the first time, not sure exactly what to do or say to provide that person with pleasure at that point. It can be awkward and nerve wracking. Oh sure, you can get a nut. Mission accomplished? Sometimes. But, if you're seeking that level of intimacy that rocks your world, it's not going to happen the first time you have sex. Maybe not even the second. It takes times. I know there have been times when I've thought "damn, it can't get any better than this" after the first night of intimacy, only to find the next time made me forget about the first completely.

Many of us enter into these "relationships" with one common goal: friends with benefits with no strings. But, I agree with you, Nick, no matter how many times you stress that point and truly believe you can keep an emotional distance, you don't really have any control over it. It happens, whether it's deep emotions hinging on feelings of love, or just a sexual addiction to a person, strings can become tied together. If only one of you is experiencing these emotions, then the option is always clear. It must end before you wind up in a dramatic scenario worthy of the Jerry Springer show, or even worse, something along the lines of "Fatal Attraction." And yes, I have seen both of these instances play out, although not personal experiences of my own. They aren't pretty. However, if the feelings are mutual, it's something the two of you have to sit down and discuss with a severe level of maturity.

It is then that you have to stop and re-examine the situation. Are the strings you're finding intertwined genuine emotions based on established mutual feelings you have for one another? Are they there due to the fact that the relationship is awakening a side of you lost some time ago due to the normal, now often boring routine of your daily life? Is this really worth the things you're at risk of losing? Perhaps it's this relationship, by providing insight into other available options, that has made you realize you're not happy in your current lifestyle. Whatever the reason, you have to stop and take a hard look at what's caused the emotions to develop. Is it really worth the risk of continuing?

Being honest with yourself and your partner is the most vital communication you can share. No, you can never be too honest or straight-forward. And I'm not so sure there's such a thing as "too simple" in regards to people, emotions, and feelings. We're all very complex creatures, men and women alike. Exploring the complexities and attempting to solve the mysterious within are often what intrigues us most about an individual. As honest, straight-forward, and at times, as completely blunt as I am, I realize there are times when I may appear just as complex and mysterious. Perhaps there are things hidden deep within I've yet to discover about myself, and that only someone else will be able to unlock and and set free. Time will tell.

DefiniteTrouble 50F

8/28/2005 5:14 pm

Pssssssssst...just to update:

The "I'm quite taken with someone" from above points to top of page)...well he didn't work out after about 5 minutes, lol. However, I'm currently very, very comfy and content.

DefiniteTrouble 50F

8/28/2005 5:18 pm

Update: The "I'm currently quite taken with someone" comment above (points to top of page)...well that lasted all of 5 minutes. FYI: I'm not in the least impressed with "name dropping." I've worked in the entertainment/sports industry way too long...

DefiniteTrouble 50F

9/22/2005 4:39 am

Yes, this has been updated.

DefiniteTrouble 50F

10/2/2005 8:40 am

I knew I smelled you lurking about dear T.

dano6332 56M

10/2/2005 12:43 pm

DT, See this is what happens to me when I am with a partner. We have things in common, we talk and bond, we become intimate and next thing you know blam not complaining actually the opposite as I love being infatuated and swept away. Oh not always of course but I am very selective about who I invite in to my heart.

DefiniteTrouble 50F

10/7/2005 5:36 am

Dano - I'm quite selective as well. There's no doubt, I'm a very lucky gal at this point.

Time will tell...

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