And The Winner Is...  

DefiniteTrouble 50F
2839 posts
10/10/2005 6:47 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

And The Winner Is...

Thanks to everyone who took the time to help me find a new lady for my loving brother travelingintexas. Your votes have been counted and recounted. I've reviewed the voting, The Results Are In..., and it appears we have a hands-down winner. No hanging chads here. Without further delay, may I welcome the newest member to our disturbed family...

Big Bertha!

A little about Bertha...
Location - Texas
Sign - Virgo
Speaks - English - Hillbilly
In her own words...
"My name is BIG Bertha. I need's me a MAN! He's gots to be able to chuw my food for me cause I has no tooths and give me my weeklee enema cause I's tends to get a bit stopped up. Please bring you's own pairs of toenails clippers cause mine are's rusted. Be's man enuf to shave my bunyons and yeellohed toesnails. I luvs a man who liks a haire chest and willin to mow my underarms. Lice not a problum cause I gots em too, the darn critters. I cans yodel wif da best of em, I wons the pickeled pigs feet contest the past fife years and this year I'm shootin for a reckord my eatins at leest seventee fife of thoose suckers. I's gots my ouwn shak, 2 pigs, a cow, a chiken and a goat. the outhouse needs cleaned but i'm sure a rel man cans do it. Let mee luv u."

In honor of T's big day, Monday..The First Annual "Roast travelingintexas Day", may I say congrats to the two of you!!! You're sure to make a lovely pair. We all wish you much happiness! I've made arrangements for the 2 of you to spend a week of peace and quiet at great-granny's camper-trailer perched atop a holler in East Tennessee. Ammenities include a bed, cooler, a tv complete with aluminum foil wrapped around the antenna, and a fully functional outhouse. thank you's are expected. Please! It's the least I could do for my loving brother and his new squeeze!

Voting Results
Big Bertha, aka wetpantyslut2 - 46
Billy, aka bella - 5
Redlipsprincess - 4
36Specialk and Sizzle364 - 3
barbiebunny disguised as five_speed - 1
Expatbrit49 and yours truly, DefiniteTrouble each received 1 write-in nod, the latter being just wrong in so many ways. Ew.

In the event Bertha can't fulfill her duties for whatever reason, 1st runner-up Billy will receive the honor of beer and cheeto fetching for dear T.

Index 1 , Index 2

keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
10/10/2005 9:17 am

He sure is a lucky guy!

Hmmm, it's about time for me to get lucky too...

MillsShipsGayly 51M

10/10/2005 9:40 am

Will there be gentlemen with coke bottle specs or maginifting glasses reviewing the tally?

Wonder if Al Gore will grow a beard again over this?

Supreme Court could hear the case too.

areugame4 46M

10/10/2005 9:40 am

Your House looks better than mine.... You selling By chancers?

(Juan S)
2642 posts
10/10/2005 9:46 am

Congratulations T and Bertha...LOL

expatbrit49 62M

10/10/2005 9:51 am

I cant believe I finshed as the second male LOL

Thank You for Your Time and Attention

DefiniteTrouble 50F

10/10/2005 11:13 am

Jez...he'll keep a low profile if he knows what's good for him.

Especially after the Chuck E. Cheese comments. I was NOT being tied to a skee ball machine. It was the Whack-A-Mole...something about a tool in my hand...I dunno. He has these fetishes...

DefiniteTrouble 50F

10/10/2005 11:14 am

Keith - I's time for you to get lucky. Gonna share details?

I'll tell you mine, if you tell me

DefiniteTrouble 50F

10/10/2005 11:15 am I wanted so badly to "rig" the competition...

Expatbrit49 and [Sizzle364] would've tied...

DefiniteTrouble 50F

10/10/2005 11:17 am

AreU - you'll have to talk with travelingintexas about that. Lucky ass inheirited that this morning.

DefiniteTrouble 50F

10/10/2005 11:19 am

Sizzle - I know you must be so upset. Maybe next time...

DefiniteTrouble 50F

10/10/2005 11:20 am

Expat - ROFLMFAO...3rd if you count "Billy"

DefiniteTrouble 50F

10/10/2005 11:22 am

OH! A wedding Bertha? So soon? I'll get right on th preparations!

rm_pchamp012004 55M
2672 posts
10/10/2005 12:45 pm

John Roberts has agreed to hear the case

toothysmile 50M
16515 posts
10/10/2005 4:18 pm

Best wishes to everyone else...

rm_1hotwahine 63F
21091 posts
10/10/2005 7:58 pm

I'm thinking I see a potential problem...make sure Bertha doesn't run off with Billy...

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

luckywithladeez 49M
266 posts
10/10/2005 9:16 pm

What timing!

Congratulations DefiniteTrouble and five_speed!


Congratulations travelingintexas and Big Bertha!

Best wishes and many happy returns to both couples!

AlbertPrince 57M

10/11/2005 1:50 am

I wish I'd entered now.

dano6332 56M

10/11/2005 6:38 pm

Are they registered any place else but the farm and fleet? I was hoping to find them matching spitoons.

DefiniteTrouble 50F

10/12/2005 4:09 am

lol PC

DefiniteTrouble 50F

10/12/2005 4:10 am

lol Toothy...not so sure he's happy with his new love interest. Shit happens.

DefiniteTrouble 50F

10/12/2005 4:11 am

lmao Lucky...send all those best wished to T and Bertha...we're fine on this end.

DefiniteTrouble 50F

10/12/2005 4:12 am

lmao Lucky - send all those best wishes to T and Bertha...we're great on this end.

DefiniteTrouble 50F

10/12/2005 4:13 am

Al ? & T?

DefiniteTrouble 50F

10/12/2005 4:13 am

Dano - Farm & Fleet is THE store for this couple. I can't see Pier 1 doing them much good.

DefiniteTrouble 50F

10/12/2005 4:14 am

Scary thought MzHuny...just scary as hell. lol

DefiniteTrouble 50F

10/12/2005 7:12 am

Funny...has anyone noticed T hasn't come to claim his prizes?

DefiniteTrouble 50F

10/13/2005 7:36 am

lmao Bertha...hope you still have that shotgun handy...

(Princess Lips)

10/13/2005 8:53 am

Congrats Big Bertha...
go knock boots!


Become a member to create a blog