What does "No strings or Drama" mean  

DeepDLover 48M
59 posts
6/10/2006 8:59 am

Last Read:
1/17/2016 2:48 pm

What does "No strings or Drama" mean


After having this conversation numerous times with a bunch of folks over my tenure here at "Wanna-Be-A-Freak University", I decided to Blog and see what others think about this phrase.

To me this phrase addresses two distinct areas of a person's life. No Strings, means that the person wants a certain level of attachment in the sexual and social relationship. Note the slight to moderate contradiction in above sentence. I believe people want to be able in interact sexually without the fear or obligation of required nonsexual contact. No strings to me means, that there is an understanding that this is a nonexclusive situation that there is an expressed understanding that the only expectation is respect and flexibility.

Respect is an expectation that covers a broad range of areas. Respect means that the individuals will treat each other as they would expect someone to treat them. I can go on a limb and say that honesty is included in this package. By stating one’s intentions in the beginning and being forthright is one of mine. I feel that consensual sex can only be consensual if it is based on candor.

If you are married and on the site, why lie? If you are actually seeking a significant other, just say so. Mostly, if you can not have good sex without developing strong social and territorial attachments, THEN BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF!!!
In my view, “No Drama” means no bring any additional, undue stress or distress into my life or theirs. In discussing “drama” with other people, I have often stated that LIFE is full of trials, tribulations and problems. All of these things are called drama. However, when these things are a direct result of interacting with someone else or are directly related to the relationship, then I would consider that undue drama.
- If my/your significant other calls, e-mails or harasses you because of our relationship…that is drama.
- If I/you get territorial and start to make demands on your time and that you do not support or desire…that is drama
- If I am/you are dishonest about your sexual health or relationship goals, thus causing physical or emotional pain…that is drama.

In my view, “No Drama” means no bring any additional, undue stress or distress into my life or theirs. In discussing “drama” with other people, I have often stated that LIFE is full of trials, tribulations and problems. All of these things are called drama. However, when these things are a direct result of interacting with someone else or are directly related to the relationship, then I would consider that undue drama.
- If my/your significant other calls, e-mails or harasses you because of our relationship…that is drama.
- If I/you get territorial and start to make demands on your time and that you do not support or desire…that is drama
- If I am/you are dishonest about your sexual health or relationship goals, thus causing physical or emotional pain…that is drama.

I honestly believe that sexual intercourse is as mental as it is physical. (And maybe that is my problem as my profile title.) I do think it is possible to just have sexual intercourse for the shear physical pleasure from doing it and devoid of the emotion, just as with masturbation and flatulence. However social and cultural morays have shaped what we perceive as normal or acceptable. I have a number of friends of different races, cultural backgrounds and sexual persuasions and for me I enjoy hearing their views on sex and socialization.

What are your thoughts?

rm_Ladyt53 64F
122 posts
6/14/2006 7:33 pm

I too have had this conversation with others and as you say it’s totally up to one’s own interpretation as to what the phrase No Strings mean. I know that when I’ve used the term here I’ve been completely sincere in describing exactly what my expectations were and just how far I was willing to go. Not that it actually meant anything because I’ve still received proportions from many who either didn’t understand what I was seeking or simply didn’t care because they intended to impose themselves regardless of what I wanted.

I believe that the difference in opinions lay in the gender, because many men are only too willing to become involved in one night stands even when they say that’s not what they want. It’s been my experience to meet men that want to jump straight into bed without the benefit of getting to know the other person. Usually once a man has sampled the goods its very easy for them to disappear without ever contacting the other person again, or if they do make contact it’s only under their terms. Now speaking of the softer-side, some women will claim to only want a sexual relationship then change their minds once physical contact has been made.

I know what my situation is and while I prefer a friendship to having a committed relationship I still find myself having to explain this to some of the people that I’ve met. I can certainly appreciate having a steamy night of passionate sex without the thoughts of getting deeply involved, but I would rather do this with someone whom I’ve had the opportunity of getting to know, opposed to just going out and picking up a stranger. The sex is so much better when you don’t have the worry of the person you’re doing it with being manic.

In short I want a lover who can be a friend but knows when it’s time to go home that we’ll be heading in different directions.

As for DRAMA, I only expect it when I go to the theater or the movies...lol


Adam69Eva2005 47F

6/23/2006 9:53 am

That`s a very good question - NO strings , No drama ...
For me No drama is part from NO strings . If I`m saying no strings - means I`m positive with hung out , talking - maybe become and friends , if we`ll have that chemistry & intellectual bond and the TOTAL package " click " the sexual way would be perfect , but ... cause all of above that doesn't`t meant I`m looking for my future husband or get into any kind of commitment or the partner becomes mine , just cause we`re doing great and have fun .

After that .... NO drams come . Why ? Well first all of us we have to ask our self how much we believe in what we`re writing here , chat with any person , how much we`re serious about our FUN time we are and how much its just next kinda of a head game ?

Me ? Exactly , cause I`m very honest with anyone I`m talking or chatting , meetings after ( IF ? ) ... I`m coming now back with what I say about No strings ... all of above I wrote if two ADULTS are agree and really believe then nobody of each of them can be mad when sometimes can happens I/he may not have time for me/him ... may hung out with other person except me ... may don`t want to see me for a while ( staying in touch though ) , becomming clingy cause of our fun - that`s DRAMA for me .

But how many ppl here know what they want exactly ? How many of them
are just words and fishing information and depends of answers they`re getting ... then they are as came-leos , and become different each time , with each person , believe in different things - just to get into her/his pants . Multiple personality or head games ?

U know what u want ? U`re steady in what u believe or u`re just an BIG GAME player ?

Bottom line ... personally me wish to find a friend for nice , safe fun first OUT of the bedroom ,respect & NO games between " us " , BE for each other a like friends are , helping , listening , talking and chilling ... BE and sex partners inspired from that intellectual friend connection and have and IN bedroom fun ...
But when is due time ... BOTH know which way to take to get back to our lives , keeping great memories from each time , and just cause its great wait till next time will come .


DeepDLover 48M
253 posts
6/26/2006 7:09 pm

The meeting of a new friend is always a good thing.

The title "friend with benefits" signifies a special relationship and stature in another individuals’ life, too bad that far too many people can not understand the concept of being a friend. Conversation today is a lost art. Interpersonal interaction is rare. The concept of basic human kindness is as foreign as “Osma Bin Laden”. When a man is able to formulate an intelligent conversation, listen and remember what a woman says and is generally concerned with what is actually going on in a woman’s life outside of “how he can get her out of what she just purchased at Victoria Secret, he is not longer a candidate for good, no holds barred, kinky, no prelude to marriage sex.

I believe that anonymous sex has its drawbacks health wise. For a woman, I would assume that her comfort and safety would be paramount. For men, I would think that the emotional aspect is just as important, however not wanting a committed 1-on-1 relationship is a key point. Unfortunately, if the sex is really good…men tend to want repeat visits just as much as a woman would. No strings does not mean, “no social interaction outside of sexual intercourse”, but it does not preclude that type of relationship. The strings that people tend to want to avoid are the TIES THAT BIND.

Nothing is truer than, “Friendship is essential to the soul”. People are more than the composite nature of their anatomy. People have souls that need to be fed as well as their libidos. I can fuck all day and night, however if a woman can’t grasp what is inside the mind of the intellectual sex fiend, then she will never fully experience the ecstasy that I can provide and I’m sure that is the same with some woman. If she can not connect with the man in some way, then she won’t feel comfortable opening up completely.


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