Losing Weight and She Wants Me To Be Forceful Sometimes...  

DakR1972 44M   
104 posts
1/11/2006 11:57 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Losing Weight and She Wants Me To Be Forceful Sometimes...

I had a long conversation with my girlfriend in Japan last night. It was one of the more "eye-opening" discussions I've had with her. (eye opening for me, btw.) We talked about a lot of things, but then subject of our bodies came up and she seemed to be very ashamed of hers. Now, I kid you not when I say, she has a gorgeous body. Just thinking about it something gets me hard, (I told you, I am very much all about her) to her constant delight, I might add. But she seems to think she is over weight, and not skinny at all. I beg to differ.

You see, she wants to lose about 2.5Kg (roughly 5 1/2lbs.). I am trying to lose about 16Kg (roughly 35lbs). To make this fun, we're doing a little contest. So we have set a goal for each month, we weigh ourselves every morning and keep track of what we're going to eat each day, and how active we are. We can't be with each other, obviously, so we can't keep each other from sneaking snacks or the wrong food, but we are honest with each other, so if we slip, we don't lie about it. It's good, because it also keeps us honest with ourselves if we keep honest with each other. (Example: I slipped up yesterday and when offered some slices of Chicken Wing Pizza, I said sure! ...and ate 3 pieces. Bad Dak!) If we achieve or beat our goals, we're good, and we set a new goal for the end of the next month. If we don't reach our goal, we have to accept a penalty. (Mine is no soda or beer for 2 weeks in the beginning of February, hers is no Chocolate or sweets for 2 weeks. She doesn't want to lose, because Valentine's day is the 14th. )

So she mentioned she had gained 18 grams. I'm not that picky, and I understand that our weight will fluctuate throughout the day, so a tiny amount of gain doesn't concern me. But she seemed very disheartened about it. To me, this is like adding a grain of sand on a very small (but sexy) beach. I doubt it would be noticable at all. But she insisted it was bad. We chatted for quite some time about this, and I think I finally convinced her that the small victories or losses matter less than the overall goal. And one insignificant setback does not mean she's lost her way. She likes hearing me encourage her. I know she was smiling, I could hear it in her voice. Ganbatte, ne! (Do your best, okay!)

From this topic, we started talking about making love. (There are many things about being together we miss, but this close intimacy is something we regard as very special.) She asked me how many times in a week I wanted to make love to her. I said 14 times, and she laughed and called me "very tough". When asked if I was kidding, I told her "well, you did say want. Able to and want to sometimes are 2 different things, but if I had a choice, I'd make love with her every morning and night. It's something that we know is simply fantasy now, but soon, we will find out what our reality will be.

She then asked me what I would do if I really wanted to make love to her, but she didn't want to. I thought for a moment and I told her "Well, I would talk to you then. I know sometimes you might not feel like making love, and that's okay. As long as we remain close in other ways, I don't mind." She seemed to appreciate that answer very much, but her next statement almost made me fall on the floor. She actually told me she wanted me to be forceful with her sometimes. At first I didn't understand what she meant. (Remember, I'm talking with someone who is using English as a second language, so sometimes the meaning is not clearly expressed in the chosen words) She explained that she wants me to be insistent sometimes, not just give up easily. And she wants me to be decisive, and make many of our decisions myself, not always relying on her to decide. What I came to understand was, she trusts me, and she wants me to take control sometimes so she's not always having to make all the decisions. Once I understood this, I came to understand her a lot more. She wasn't asking me to be rough, just be a man, and take care of her. Which I certainly plan to for a long time to come.

I tell ya, I have never been more in love with someone in my life than I am right now with her. She always finds something new to surprise me, and last night was no different. We chatted for 4 hours, and it seemed like it was only a few minutes. The time passed by that quickly.

So the Alligator with the frog in it's mouth? Just a reminder that we all need to hang in there and trust each other. Have a good one, folkses.


0_may_I 52F

1/12/2006 11:41 pm

Dak..This post is THE most romantic I've read. It's lovely. I hope you do last forever and ever like in the fairy tales..aawww. Doing things together is so important especially communicating. One more thing being tactile with each other even if it's only a touch of the cheek in passing keeps you in touch with each other.We can learn a lot just by touching each other... sometimes no words are needed.
Going to read some more and I'll bet they're just as good.
bye, 0_,May_I, sashays away from youhips swinging to read more of your blogs....


DakR1972 44M  

1/13/2006 12:53 pm

    Quoting 0_may_I:
    Dak..This post is THE most romantic I've read. It's lovely. I hope you do last forever and ever like in the fairy tales..aawww. Doing things together is so important especially communicating. One more thing being tactile with each other even if it's only a touch of the cheek in passing keeps you in touch with each other.We can learn a lot just by touching each other... sometimes no words are needed.
    Going to read some more and I'll bet they're just as good.
    bye, 0_,May_I, sashays away from youhips swinging to read more of your blogs....
Thank you. I'm very happy about my situation and though there was a point where I was worried if it'd even go this far, I am very glad we stuck with it. I hope that we don't have to wait long for us to be together forever. But I think this way is better than seeing a girl every day or living with her. It makes me want to be with her more and more, and I know when we are finally able to be with each other, it will be just us in the world, no one else.

One thing I do miss, is something you mention. The tactile sensations of her being with me. One thing she loves to do is touch my ears. I don't know why, she just has this thing about ears. Before I met her, my ears were not sensitive to touch, but after, HOLY COW! She touched my ears one night and then sucked on my earlobe and I just about jumped out of my seat! She is the ONLY one that has ever done that to me. I know she is definitely a keeper!


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