Bad Santa  

DTand5Speed 41M/50F
201 posts
12/5/2005 5:21 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Bad Santa

Ten Signs You've Hired a Bad Santa

1. He recently starred in the film "The Full Santy."

2. He asks all the mothers, "How 'bout a little lap action for mommy?"

3. He was recently suspended from the NBA for choking his coach.

4. His beard catches on fire whenever he lights his crack pipe.

5. Every few minutes, his beard rustles, and you hear a muffled meow.

6. When a kid asks for a bike, he says, "Good luck. Your parents look like cheap-ass bastards."

7. He's doubled over, gasping for breath, after the second "Ho."

8. He amuses kids by demonstrating the "sleeper hold" on an elf.

9. His "beard" consists of a dozen styrofoam peanuts glued to his face.

10. He always starts off by asking, "You ain't Jewish, are ya?"

Efilnikufecin69 47M

12/5/2005 6:34 am


jim5131 55M
1296 posts
12/5/2005 6:57 am


...hit the spot for the Monday morniong...

thanxx y'all..

SibylBatchAxile 43M
384 posts
12/5/2005 7:06 am


You said "Ho".


exoticeyes1000 55F

12/5/2005 7:53 am

This is hillarious.....tks for sharing!

rm_MamCsDawne 46F
218 posts
12/5/2005 7:55 am

lmao.. yep that would definately be a baddddd santa..

ThumbChickStool 33F

12/6/2005 3:50 pm

Here I am again!! Gotta head to my mom's {shudder} if I want to get online. Love the joke. BTW, DT, I can always email you the rest of my halloween facts. And I'm totally not doing Christmas ones. Not unless I get internet back at my place.


XesSex03 50M/48F

12/7/2005 8:35 pm

Hey! You trying to deal me out of a job?
None of that s*^%t is true.
OK, there was this one lady... But she was checkin' me out first. I swear.
And the elf deserved it. Little bastard pulled my beard.
And I put the cat in there to catch the mice. I had a snake but I gave it to that kid to put in his cheap assed parents bed.
The rest of that is just a bunch of accusations. Nobody's proved any of them yet.

Mr. Xes

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