Winner of Today's "What Not to Say in an Email" Contest  

DCEbony
2208 posts
8/27/2005 7:23 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Winner of Today's "What Not to Say in an Email" Contest


I know The Epic was exciting beyond your wildest dreams, but we all need to come off of the fisting-induced high and get back to reality. LOL

What better way to do that than to crown a contest winner? This one is just delightful.

HELLO DCEBONY,

I LIKE YOUR RULES AND YOUR WAY OF THINKING. I WILL LOVE TO HAVE A DISCREET HOT SEX WITH YOU. HMM, I CAN SEE MYSELF EATING THAT JUICY PUSSY AND SUCKING ON THOSE TITTIES! I AM LIVING IN ARLINGTON, VA. IF YOU ARE INTERESTED, EMAIL ME BACK.


Being the inquisitive girl that I am, as always, I have questions:

What's "a discreet hot sex"?

By which scale ia a juicy pussy measured?

Why does having someone refer to my breasts as "titties" creep me out? I think I'd rather he just called them tits. (Actually, scratch that. I'd rather he not refer to them at all.)

It's a good thing he can see himself eating this and sucking those.

I closed my eyes, thought about it real hard and nothing - I don't see it myself. LOL


rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
8/27/2005 8:47 am

Laugh, such a letdown after The Epic, but still a loser nonetheless.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


madkitten 53F
291 posts
8/27/2005 9:31 am

I read your epic, lol, perhaps he did as well and thought the short version might be a hit instead, some men just dont get it, and I doubt he will if thats how he emails women.


AnnandDan2005 71M/67F
23 posts
8/27/2005 9:58 am

We quite agree; after thought, it is just nothing.


rm_jayR63 59F
1884 posts
8/27/2005 1:41 pm

You know, I was thinking about the Epic, and now this.
What I was thinking is this-
Do these guys really expect this type of communication to incite interest?
Has it ever worked?
I'm betting that if one were to ever actually meet these men outside of this site they wouldn't have a word to say.


DCEbony
1586 posts
8/27/2005 2:12 pm

Daphne -

I think I'm only allowed one epic per calendar year.

Glad I got it over with. LOL


DCEbony
1586 posts
8/27/2005 2:14 pm

Madkitten/AnnanDan -

This guy is a different one altogether.

I get such interesting email, don't I? Notice I said "interesting" and not unique. LOL


DCEbony
1586 posts
8/27/2005 2:16 pm

jayR -

I have often wondered if those approaches work, too.

Have they been successful once and keep using the same formula hoping lightning will strike again or do they really believe this is the sort of thing most women want to read?

Maybe the next time I get one of these, I will offer both you and I as a tagteam and see what happens. LMAO


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/27/2005 3:23 pm

DCE maybe we need a Vagimeter to differtiate juciness, wet, moist, hot, dripping, and turned on. I know I'm confused. LOL...there's a shocker.

[blog talldarkavg1]


hourglasses 47F

8/27/2005 3:54 pm

Its always a suprise to me when you look at someone's profile and see that the only language they speak is English Because over here we don't say 'a discreet hot sex'.


lifeisablast333 54M

8/27/2005 4:28 pm

DCEboney, i sya a post of yours on another blog, and thought I would check out your blog, really glad that i did, you have some funny stuff....really glad i did not win this contest.......the redneck


DCEbony
1586 posts
8/27/2005 4:48 pm

TDA -

When you're progamming the Blog Land TV station, don't forget to have some advertising time for "Amazing Discoveries".

I'm sure the Vagimeters would sell just as well (if not better) than those pasta pots with the holes in the lids.


DCEbony
1586 posts
8/27/2005 4:49 pm

HG -

Yeah, I always check languages. Native English speakers that send me some of these emails should be ashamed of themselves. LOL


DCEbony
1586 posts
8/27/2005 4:51 pm

Lifeisablast -

Tnanks for checking out my blog. Welcome.

I don't think you could possibly win this contest! If you want to try, be my guest.

On second thought, don't try. LOL


DCEbony
1586 posts
8/28/2005 6:52 am

Humboldthonni-

This Vagimeter thing could be a goldmine! I guess we'd have to get it through clinical trials first, though.

Wait a second! The Vagimeter is to be used to measure the juiciness level of a pussy (prior to eating), right?

Do you think the FDA should get involved? LOL


five_speed 41M

8/29/2005 7:07 pm

um, I relayed your question about juiciness to the author of the Epic, and he says you are supposed to use a sharpie marker to make marks on the forearm every quarter inch, starting at the wrist. Then you suck the clit until she says "Don't stop! Don't ever stop!" Then you fist the pussy for exactly three strokes - no more and no less - leaving the fist in the pussy. Then you watch to see how far the juices drip down the arm. He was unsure of which measurements corresponed to different levels of juiciness. He said he'd ask his mom and get back to me.


Priapeo 46M

8/31/2005 3:15 am

quote: What's "a discreet hot sex"?

He meant a hot cup of tea... classic case of the less known "freudian sip"!

Never argue with an idiot. He brings you down to his level then beats you with experience


DCEbony
1586 posts
8/31/2005 5:56 pm

Five Speed -

You are one twisted individual.

I think I love you. LOL


DCEbony
1586 posts
8/31/2005 5:58 pm

Priapeo -

Tea! Of course! Why didn't I think of that?

Good thing you're here to read between the lines...LOL


Become a member to create a blog