Winner of Today's "What Not to Say in an Email" Contest  

2208 posts
8/7/2005 4:44 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Winner of Today's "What Not to Say in an Email" Contest

Greetings, Gentle Reader -

Believe it or not, I got another missive from Creepy Email Guy. In it he said that he'd emailed me "once" before (WTF?) and was sending me another message because he hadn't heard anything back.

I figured that now was a good opportunity to nip it in the bud and I sent a response basically saying "best of luck, not interested".

On another topic, I really wonder about some of the couples that post on the site. I get emails from "them", but it's always the man wanting to play on his own. Why not just have a separate profile then? Just askin'. LOL

Today's email came from the male half of the couple. (Does the woman even know she is part of a profile on this site? LO

> Hello this is (name deleted). Can I join you for some fun? I aim to please and love to eat the right person. Can we friends with benefits? Hope to hear from you soon. Till then lick you later.

Well, Name Deleted, let me offer my responses on a point-by-point basis.

- Join me in some fun? No thanks.

- Eat the right person, huh? Cool. That's really civic-minded of you. Eating the wrong person would be just...well, wrong. Not to mention embarrassing.

- Us? Friends with benefits? Nope. Don't see it happening.

- I sent a return email as soon as I opened this one so there won't be any of that pesky waiting around for a response.

- "Lick (me) later"? As Whitney Houston says, "Hell to the no." Although it is a nicer closing than "smell you later", I suppose.

The female half of the couple is very attractive and I might have given it some thought if she had been the one sending the email.

And no, Name Deleted, I would not want you to watch or join in. LOL

Peace out.

Your buddy,

rm_jayR63 59F
1884 posts
8/8/2005 2:08 pm

Eating the wrong person can upset menu planning.
It's like eating the only kosher meal on a flight.
Who will the jewish person eat?

1586 posts
8/8/2005 4:32 pm

jayR -

Too true.

There are also lactose intolerant, sodium-reduced and sugar-free diets to consider.

Oh, and the allergies...

rm_qcao1 48F
197 posts
8/8/2005 11:10 pm

LOL... thanks for making me always a great post your funny comments.

ih8usrnames 40M

8/9/2005 4:29 am

"Lick you later" -- lol

I really enjoy the "What Not to Say in An Email contest". Looking forward to the next one.

Thanks for sharing

nehesi2 46M

8/9/2005 7:34 am

In your case, DCEbony, its easy to read your profile and come up with a sincere email (if, of course, you are sincere about wanting something deeper than the length of your dick).

What should we do in a case where there's three lines, no responses to the extended questions and the only picture is of her ass? Can you really blame us for missives like the following: (one-two-three-four-FIF!)

I couldn't help but notice your display of assets. My hard currency can help you expand them as I specialize in electronically managing positions and creating momentum.

Let me spread your assets over a wide range of growth industries; silk, honey, Egyptian cotton, chocolate sauce and ginger-infused olive oil. I can assure you that if you take my firm for a ride you'll experience swells and contractions as the market shifts over and over again, but in the long run you'll be fully satisfied.

1586 posts
8/9/2005 3:26 pm

gcao1 & ih8usmames -

Glad you enjoyed the post. I am sure there are more to come in the future. LOL

1586 posts
8/9/2005 3:28 pm

Nehesi -

You might have to settle for an ass only pic because once she read the missive you just wrote, I'm sure her head would blow up.

You're asking for an awful lot of thinking there, my friend.


007sexy40plus 51F  
7603 posts
8/9/2005 5:20 pm

LOL...Now DC I told you about that buffet stuff. you gonna mess around and get yourself "eaten" hahah

I am the real deal! "Come Get Me!!!"

1586 posts
8/10/2005 4:43 pm

Straightten -

Come on, now!

If I'm going to be on a buffet, I'm bringing you with me. We can be a team! LOL

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
8/11/2005 2:44 pm

LMAO...ever consider selling your email? DCE...please consider taping yourself reading these pearls...I would love to watch you react.

<perk>DCE & Straightten as a team??

[blog talldarkavg1]

1586 posts
8/11/2005 5:19 pm


You get to maintain your position as resident thespian.

It might be funnier if you read them.

Have your people call my people, babe. LOL

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