Winner of Today's "What Not to Say in an Email" Contest  

DCEbony
2208 posts
6/18/2005 9:40 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Winner of Today's "What Not to Say in an Email" Contest


The opening paragraph from today's winner was normal and respectful. Cool, I said to myself. Then I got to the rest of the message.

I do not boast at all nor make promises lightly, and will deliver to you meat in great quantity, pleasure equal to or greater than I receive. Yes, I am looking for a lady just like you!!!!!

"Meat in great quantity"???

A lady who wants more from life than you are now getting!!!More? More attention--a loving look, an attentive rub on the backside, a feel of your juicy pussy from time to time, and of course a tweak of your nipples too...

I wonder how you would give a distracted backside rub, but I digress.

I am a 40 year young man...I consider myself to be your equal, your intimate male counterpart. Young, full of stamina and cum, able to provide you with hours (4,5,6 hours of enjoyment), fit and as strong as a lion, a man with a good back that would love to feel the touch of your hands during those pleasurable hours of intense intimacy, broad shoulders over which you may rest your thighs allowing my eyes to make contact with that feminine eye of yours, a down to a 34 waist, nice thighs, a nice ass ready now and able to drive this cock home, and bear the gifts of intellect, skill and size that you would love to experience. And this cock can be your on a regular...a 9x5 2pound piece of black muscle just for you.

4,5,6 hours of enjoyment for someone that is once, twice, three times a lady perhaps? I hope he washed the kitchen scale off before he put it back in the cupboard. Actually, who the hell weighs their penis? Lord thundering Jesus.

So if you really value affection, like to be cuddled, talked with and listened to not lectured; if you want a man who values you for your views not put down or have them lessened, being spoiled from time to time as in cooked for and shown generous degrees of care, fucked well so that you can feel it, and know that a real man has been there, fucked on a regular and loved all the time, we decide on the strings ...please get back with me.

Say something positive, DCE. Think of something positive...

I've got it! He said, "please"!

I am so sorry I already used "good goobilly goop" this week. This email was far more Grady-worthy than the last winner's.

007sexy40plus 51F  
7603 posts
6/18/2005 10:26 pm

Sounds like he was delivering a recipe there for a minute but then he ventured over to boosting himself up. I think some of these guys must be smoking some kind of "peace pipe" (peyote) like they did way back in the day. lol.. They have to be to sit down and write things like that. I think they are trying to convince themselves that they actually have a chance with a woman.

They need to be careful, that pipe can cause some serious hallucinations.

Continue Blogging, DCE..

I am the real deal! "Come Get Me!!!"


youngtallymilf 34M/33F
13 posts
6/18/2005 10:56 pm

lmao


hourglasses 47F

6/19/2005 7:28 pm

Meat in great quanitity? So this guy is offering what ... some chicken, steak, hamburger in addition to his huge penis? I'd take him up on it


rm_jayR63 59F
1884 posts
6/19/2005 7:44 pm

DC, I think you just misinterpreted this nice man.

He's just a very friendly butcher who makes home deliveries and tweaks your nipples when he's through.

If he want's to deliver "meat in great quantity" I say bring it on and lets have us a barbeque. Just make sure there's some ribs included.


AmberSolaire 42M

6/20/2005 5:40 am

Is off to weigh his penis in both flaccid and erect states.Will then put them in his notebook along with his length , girth, and sleeping penis to full erection speed for future emails.

Why on earth hadnt he thought of that one before.


DCEbony
1586 posts
6/20/2005 4:43 pm

That's what I like about blogging. There are always people who will jump in and make me see things from a different perspective! And now AmberSolaire has some ideas as to what he can do with his spare time.

Meat is expensive so perhaps I shouldn't turn down his offer just yet. Barbecue season coming up and he could save me a fortune. (I just don't want him to use his scale because we all know what he does with it.)

Now if I could find someone who owns a gas station and a shoe store, I'd be set. LOL


rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
6/20/2005 6:03 pm

DC, what a great sense of humor! Far be it from me to point out things here but, I enjoyed the "...f***** well so that you can feel it" part. I think that hits home for all women.

Lord knows how many times its well and you don't feel it.

[blog talldarkavg1]


LustGoddess2469 50F  
2453 posts
6/20/2005 7:21 pm

Another masterpiece here DCE. LOL! You never fail to make me laugh.

Lusty


rm_the_taker 44M
60 posts
6/20/2005 9:30 pm

"...because we ALL know what he does with it."
(gesturing a closing flower by my chin) aaannnd Scene


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