Winner of Today's "What Not to Say in an Email" Contest  

DCEbony
2208 posts
10/10/2005 1:42 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Winner of Today's "What Not to Say in an Email" Contest


Remember the classic story of Jekyll and Hyde? I present the condensed, A F F version.

Here's Jekyll, as described on his profile:

I'm 5'7 160 pounds of muscle. I am easy going, and I am a true gentleman.

His profile doesn't say very much other than the standard things such as race, marital status and education.

Speaking of education, he has a Master's degree. Once you read the email he sent me, you'll see that the money for his education was money well spent.

I hope you paid special attention to the phrase "true gentleman".

Here's the message that I received from Hyde:

Send me your email and I will send a phot. Let me fuck and suck you today.

Anyone familiar with my blog knows that I have to share my observations.

1. I couldn't have shared the classy email I got from Mr. Hyde unless he had an email address to send it to! He already has the only email address of mine he'll ever get.

2. What's a phot? I'm not sure, but I think the phot is some sort of Asian currency. I wonder how the phot is doing against the U.S. dollar these days. At any rate, I have a job and can earn my own phots. I don't need one of his. I'm sure as hell not going to send him my email address in exchange for one lousy phot. Cheap so-and-so.

3. Do crude statements like that ever work? (If you're a man reading this post and have successfully lured women with an approach like this dude's, please share.)

I'm guessing that this guy's degree doesn't have anything to do with marketing.


caressmewell 53F

10/10/2005 6:15 pm

I get to the point where I just hate to look at my AdultFriendFinder email. It's all crude, rude and full of cock pictures. For some reason I can not delete any of the email received in the last 48 hours so that just makes it worse.


rm_1hotwahine 63F
21091 posts
10/10/2005 8:08 pm

Don't be too hasty. First find out the currency exchange rate for a phot. It might be worth your while.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
10/10/2005 8:48 pm

If he'll give you a phot for every email addy you send I have like 50 invites for gmail I can send you...we can make a fortune!

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
10/10/2005 10:24 pm

It sounds like he got his masters at Assahola University, and he specializes in The Jackass Approach to Picking Up Classy Women. I get anal one alot. Why, DC, why, I dont understand?


DCEbony
1586 posts
10/11/2005 4:58 am

Caress -

I feel your pain, girl.

I'm at the point where I am truly amazed when I get a nice email from a normal guy.

Because my filter isn't working, the normal guys are never from my state, but at least I know they exist! LOL


DCEbony
1586 posts
10/11/2005 5:01 am

1hotwahine -

I can only imagine what this dude would expect in exchange for his phots.

It would start with my email address and probably end up with me having to give up the booty.

Nuh-uh. I am staying well away from this guy and his phots.


DCEbony
1586 posts
10/11/2005 5:03 am

Daphne -

I only have 45 Gmail invites to give out myself so added to yours, we might make a nice chunk o' change.

((tents fingers together a la Mr. Burns))

Excellent...


DCEbony
1586 posts
10/11/2005 5:09 am

Saintlianna -

Assahola must be one big school. Hell, look at how many AU grads are on this site alone!

You get the anal ones and I get guys that are under the impression that I will hook up with them the very same day they send me an email, like Mr. Hyde.

Maybe we need to re-read our profiles and look for hidden subtext.


Efilnikufecin69 47M

10/11/2005 5:37 am

Studied at AU, shops at Rednex 'r Us, and his 160 lbs. of muscle? That is from all the shit he has built up inside. I think he needs an Enima! And his Masters degree? Master in what, bullshitting? The only master he ever got was Master-bation!

{=}Anthrax


dasher121 36M

10/11/2005 9:05 am

Wow, yours is not the first ive read about stupid things guys say on here. I made a post addressing the situation myself. Its rediculous some of the things that women report being emailed to them. Really does blow me away. Clearly these dudes didnt get good advice about women when growing up.
I actually think that people get under the impression that because its a sex site, and the women have some nude photos, that they are going to be like talking to porn stars or some stupid shit like that. There has to be some excuse, there is no way people can really expect responses to................ahh, i give up! Time to climb down off of the soap box.


Priapeo 46M

10/12/2005 8:29 am

LMAO

I can almost imagine the conversion.... as you will notice he started a mail in an educated way:

Send me your email and I will send a phot.

See! the word photo is cut abruptly with a full stop. At this point the potion starts having effect... you must imagine his thoughts when he feels a devatating shudder through his body:

Oh no! Not now, my merciful Lord of Heavens! Please leave me some more time to let my wings of rethorics soar high to touch the soul of this delicate brown flower!

You can see from his thoughts that he's a real gentleman, and well educated too. But the potion works his way through the veins... inexorably. At this point he notices with a chilling shiver the hairs on his hands grow at lightning speed, and you must imagine him shouting:

Hell, grrrr... arglll... arf! whorf whorf.. bllggglrrrr

And then, with a cavernous obscene laughter, he tears his pin-striped grey Armani business suit, put his talons on the keyboard and snarls:

Let me fuck and suck you today.

This last sentence, of course before he smashes the PC together with the LCD monitor on the floor, and that's why it is unlikely you will hear from him again!

Never argue with an idiot. He brings you down to his level then beats you with experience


DCEbony
1586 posts
10/12/2005 9:52 am

Hell, grrrr... arglll... arf! whorf whorf.. bllggglrrrr

ROFLMAO

I have nothing to add.


Priapeo 46M

10/13/2005 2:58 am

Dear DCEbony, I'll never repeat that enough: your most exquisite manners do match the countless graces of your body and the stimulating rollercoasters of your mind are... Hell, grrrr... arglll... arf! whorf whorf.. bllggglrrrr.... let's fuck right here!

Never argue with an idiot. He brings you down to his level then beats you with experience


DCEbony
1586 posts
10/13/2005 3:22 pm

Priapeo -

You naughty boy.

Caressmewell, 1hotwahine, Daphne, Saintlianna, Efiln and Dasher are in the room!

((whisper: Later, when they're gone! )) LOL


DCEbony
1586 posts
10/14/2005 3:25 pm

Humboldthonni -

I think Priapeo is a dangerous man.

I'm sure he knows exactly what to say in any situation.

We can't have him training others otherwise all of the women will be in serious trouble. Well, the straight ones. LOL


Priapeo 46M

10/26/2005 6:25 am

    Quoting humboldthonni:
    Priapeo...why dont you teach a course on what to say. We are all ears!!!!
Oh, another fair Lady has been impressed by my affable manners. Indeed, dear Humboldthonni, I always try to educate my fellow males to refine first of all their words. They must understand that a slant and circuitous allusive diction is always better than whatever explicit virile glory they can fling on the table.

Now, if you give me your delicate hand we could... but... what's happening? Noooo... grrrr... arglll... arf! whorf whorf.. bllggglrrrr.

... come here, blondie: i'll rip your clothes off and give you a helluva mind boggling fuck!!

No, it's not time yet! Oh, my sweet Humboldthonni, aaarggh!

sweet this dick! Ahahahahah (the echoes of the laughter fade away in the night)

Never argue with an idiot. He brings you down to his level then beats you with experience


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