The Epic - Trilogy  

2208 posts
8/24/2005 5:17 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

The Epic - Trilogy

Happy Humpday, Gentle Readers!

Where we last left off, our hero had given us all a detailed (unasked for) lesson on human sex organs and managed to creep us out along the way.

All was not lost, however. We learned that clinical descriptions of genitalia can be pretty damn unsexy.

We also learned that if you're not careful, you can get "dangerously close" to a pussy. (He didn't describe what the consequences were, but we should probably be glad that he didn't.)

Apparently if you mess up and get into untamed pussy territory, you get superpowers - specifically the gift of flight. This allows you to float away to safety so you can call the proper authorities.

Well, I've babbled on enough. I know what you want and I'm gonna give it to you. I present "The Epic - Trilogy".

First, I will kiss you, gently, then harder. Then I will use my tongue to separate your pussy lips and when you opens up, I run my tongue up and down between the layers of pussy flesh. Gently spreading your legs more with my hands. Everything I do with you when I am about to eat you must be done gently. Finally, I will get to tongue-fuck you. This feels divine to me and to makes me sigh and feel like I am in heaven. It also teases the hell out of you because by now you will want some attention given to your clit. I may check it out. If I see your clit has gotten hard enough to peek out of it's covering, I might just lick it...and lick it, and lick it! If I can't see it, it might still be waiting for me underneath. So I might bring my tongue up the top of your slit and feel for your clit. I may barely experience it's presence. But even if I can't feel the tiny pearl, I can make it rise, by licking the skin that covers it. I will then lick hard and press into your skin.

I will gently pull the pussy lips away and flick my tongue against the clit, hood covered or not. I will do this quickly. This will probably cause your legs to shudder. When I sense you're getting up there toward orgasm, I will make my lips into an "O" and take the clit into my mouth. I will start to actually suck gently and watch your face for your reaction. If you can handle it, I will begin to suck harder. If you really love it, I will suck even harder. I follow your lead. If you lift your pelvis into the air with the tension of your rising orgasm, I will move with you, I won't fight you. I will hang on, and keep my hot mouth on your swollen clit. I won't let go. That's what you'll be saying too: 'Don't stop. Don't ever stop!'

But back to my pussy eating session...There's another thing I can do to intensify your pleasure. I can finger-fuck you while you're enjoying my clit-licking talents. Before, during and after. You'll really like it. In addition to the erogenous zones surrounding your clit, you have another extremely sensitive area at the roof of your pussy itself. I will rub up against that roof area when I'm fucking you. But, since my cock is pretty far away from my mouth, for now, my fingers will have to do the fucking. I take two is too skinny and three is too wide and therefore can't get deep enough (unless you have cum ALOT already and then perhaps I can fist fuck you which REALLY gets me hot). I will make sure my fingers are very wet so I won't irritate your skin. I will slide them inside, slowly at first, then a little faster. I will fuck you with them rhythmically. Speeding up only when you does. I will be listening to your breathing. Your body will let me know what to do. If I'm sucking your clit and finger-fucking you at the same time, I will be giving you far more stimulation than I would be giving you with my cock alone. So I can count on it that you'll be getting high on this. If there's any doubt, I will just check you out for symptoms. Each woman is unique. You may be one who's nipples get hard when you're excited or only when you're having an orgasm. You might flush red or begin to tremble. I will get to know YOUR symptoms and it helps me to be a more sensitive lover.

"Layers of pussy flesh"? Wha-wha-what?

"Speeding up only when you does"? Whatevah dawg.

"(P)erhaps I can fist fuck you which REALLY gets me hot"? How about per-HELL NO?

I don't know about other women, but tongue-fucking to me is just okay. Meh. I'd never describe it as "divine" nor have I ever said, "Don't stop. Don't ever stop!" to anyone. (Oh, I'm sorry. That's a lie. I say that when a salesclerk is ringing up the shoes or clothing I happen to be purchasing during an end-of-season clearance event.)

Y'know, I wasn't remotely turned on by this email. I am serious. I did, however, get some serious entertainment.

As an added bonus, he gave me a definite high. You know when you laugh so much that you can't breathe and you start feeling giddy? Yeah. That kind of high.

Now that he's mentioned "symptoms", I think I have one - nausea. Probably from laughing too much.

This is the part of my posting where I say, "But wait! There's more!" And there is more. If you think you were cringing now, just you wait.

Talk to you tomorrow.

five_speed 41M

8/24/2005 11:22 pm

Ya know, I should have known better, but I actuallyried to eat some cereal while reading this. I laughed so hard I shot a raisin out my nose... My cat is still looking at me with this horrified expression like she's just figured out I'm not really human...

Ahhh.... where to start with this one? I might just laugh at it... and laugh at it, and laugh at it!

"...I may barely experience it's presence... I can make it rise..." Wait a minute! I thought he was talking about eatng pussy, but this sounds more like a séance or exorcism! In my head, I'm hearing that freaky little woman from Poltergiest, the one with the squeaky voice. She's saying "I have examined the clitoris. This pussy is clean."

"But, since my cock is pretty far away from my mouth, for now" No, no,no, son! You got it all wrong! You eat her, and then she sucks you - you're not supposed to eat her and then blow yourself! I admire your flexibility and initiative, but you're confused, son. Take my word for it.

hourglasses 47F

8/25/2005 6:26 am

But, since my cock is pretty far away from my mouth

ummm...isn't it supposed to be far from his mouth?

rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
8/25/2005 9:01 am

Ya know, poor guy...he's experiencing those "layers of pussy flesh" from all the callouses from the fisting. I have a suggestion where he might consider shoving his fist ...

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.

Heartnsoul768 53M
360 posts
8/25/2005 10:46 am

I will get to know YOUR symptoms and it helps me to be a more sensitive lover.

That last sentence says it all .... He thinks he's the LOVE DOCTOR.

rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
8/25/2005 3:13 pm

Good God, there is more? How many words does it take for a story to be considered a novel? If he "can't see" your clit yet, maybe it's because it ran away screaming.

1586 posts
8/25/2005 3:29 pm

Five Speed -

I am very sorry to have caused you to have a cereal-related injury.

I will buy you a drink for your pain one day if you promise not to sue. LOL

1586 posts
8/25/2005 3:32 pm

Valleyrat -

I don't know what it is, but the whole email has given me a creepy vibe.

He really should use his powers for something other than sending out these types of emails.

Maybe this is some sort of reverse psychology and his focus is on switching off a woman's libido.

Worked for me. LOL

1586 posts
8/25/2005 3:33 pm

Hourglasses -

You just can't learn enough from this guy, can you?

Cock far away from the mouth? Who'd have thunk it?

1586 posts
8/25/2005 3:36 pm

Daphne -

The place you're suggesting is also far away from his mouth. You his cock.

Did you know that his cock is far away from his mouth?

In fact, I think all men are built that way!

I hope you're going to take this knowledge and use it well. LOL

1586 posts
8/25/2005 3:39 pm

Saintlianna -

Yes, my friend, there is more.

Aren't you excited?

My whole body would be following my clit - and my GORGEOUS pussy. I've never qualified for any sort of racing event, but I'll bet I could with the right sort of motivation. LOL

1586 posts
8/25/2005 3:40 pm

Heartnsoul -

If he is the Love Doctor, I say we should all explore alternative medicine.

rm_garnet73 44M

8/29/2005 2:40 pm

Eighties flashback:
Your love is like bad medicine...

1586 posts
8/31/2005 6:00 pm

Garnet -

This particular brand of bad medicine is NOT what I need. LOL

(Thanks for visiting, btw.)

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