The Epic - Conclusion  

2208 posts
8/26/2005 11:20 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

The Epic - Conclusion

Ah, the end of another work week.

What better way to kick off the weekend, but to post the final installment of The Epic? Actually, I can think of better ways to begin the weekend, but I digress.

This email went so long, it feels like like the end of an era, doesn't it? LOL

This post is for anyone who has read this stuff and said, "Damn, isn't this thing ever gonna end?"

I bring you the conclusion of The Epic...

Sexually, here is what I have in long as there is no pain involved, I LOVE IT ALL! It's that simple! Of course I have preferences when my time is limited. For instance, deep, long, passionate kisses; slow licking of clit and pussy (this is my NUMBER 1 CHOICE OF ANYTHING SEXUAL and I have done this for HOURS at a time...more later on this); woman on top fucking; ASS FUCKING; and fist fucking (number 2 favorite). I DO jerk off SEVERAL times a day and usually its to fantasizing about eating someone, fist fucking them, ass fucking them, or having her on top of me. (Don't worry, I NEVER force a woman to do what she doesn't WANT to, so fisting and ass fucking will be up to you!!! No need to fear me, ever!)

Like I said, my phone number is (number deleted) lets meet!

(name and email address deleted)

------ Profile Attached -------

i have been called a nympho by most of the women i have known. most have needed to 'rest' between sessions and not only have i ALWAYS been thanked, i was even offered money once! lolol! yes, my tongue and fingers are THAT magical!

Um, yeah.

That's the whole shebang. Now you see why I didn't post it in its entirely. (Not just because of the length - I needed to give you time to laugh, vomit and/or fire a raisin out of your nose.)

Boy, he is really set in his ways. I thoroughly enjoy nekkid fun, but there's no way I could sit and enumerate my favorites. LOL

Fist fucking ranks as his number two? Good luck with that one. It might be HIS favorite, but I haven't ever encountered any women that would put that on her "Things To Do" list. If I'm wrong, you'll have to excuse me on that.

I'm not into the ass thing but there are enough people that are into derierre love that I could see it being a viable number two. Anyway, it's his list so I'm going to leave it alone.

((backs away from email wearing hazardous materials jumpsuit))

Who out there has ever referred to a man as "nympho"? If you put your hand up, I'll know that you've slept with this guy. If this is the case, I won't love you any less, but I'll have some respect issues.

The temptation to call and offer this guy money is overwhelming. I wouldn't pay for his "magical" tongue and fingers, but I would pay him to never send this email to another woman.

Well, I am going to explore life away from this computer screen. It has been a long week.

Have a great day and thanks for coming for the ride! Sorry it made you queasy. If there's any consolation, I was nauseous too.

Peace out.


rm_jayR63 59F
1884 posts
8/26/2005 12:10 pm

"No need to fear me, ever!"
Be afraid.
Be very afraid.
Whatever this guy does for a living must involve a lot of time on"hold" or waiting up is the little cage at the top of the crane for his next instruction.

I just hope it doesn't involve animals.

rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
8/26/2005 12:57 pm

I hope these guys don't catch on and stop sending you these e-mails, they are hilfuckinlarious. For us I mean, you are probally sick of it. As far as fisting goes, pushing out a 6# 5 ounce baby ripped me from hole to hole. There wasn't any "t'aint" left. I don't see how a fist wouldn't do any damage.

Too much information? I am very sorry.

(Juan S)
2642 posts
8/26/2005 1:10 pm

LOL... Ya'll quit picking on the lil fella...LOL

rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
8/26/2005 1:15 pm

Ya know, this guy is so into fisting methinks he needs to have the deed done to him. I'm 6'2", can palm a basketball...while you are at Home Depot pick up some industrial strength gloves. Bring the torch supplies and a pitchfork. Pitchforks always come in handy.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.

1586 posts
8/26/2005 3:55 pm

jayR -

He appears to be some sort of professional man judging by the bunch of certificates he has on the wall behind him in his picture.

On the other hand, the "I Love Me" wall may not even be his. LOL

1586 posts
8/26/2005 3:58 pm

Saintlianna -

I honestly thought that this blog would deter anyone from sending me bad emails. Ha! It just proved that half the people on the site probably don't bother to read profiles all the way through, much less blogs.

A baby is one thing because your body is engineered to push it out of you. I don't recall reading anything in anatomy class about accommodating some dude's fist going in through the out door. LOL

1586 posts
8/26/2005 4:00 pm

Sizz -

If you don't hush, I'll tell him that you were so turned on by his erotic stylings that he should send you a man-love epic. LOL

Man-love is beautiful, but I can only imagine what this guy would do to it. ((shudder))

1586 posts
8/26/2005 4:03 pm

Daphne -

Okay, I think I've got it: torch supplies, pitchfolk, basketball and Vaseline for basketball insertion.

((counts money in purse))

Nope. Scratch the Vaseline. I don't have cash and I don't dare put anything else on this credit card. ((evil laughter))

Priapeo 46M

8/26/2005 4:33 pm

I'm sick of reading day by day the way you abuse on us men, depicting us as ignorant, 1-track minded, demented and pathetically stupid beings. I'm not going to comment anymore on your blog until you make amend and publicly aknowledge that there's a good 2.67% of us that is worthwhile.

Never argue with an idiot. He brings you down to his level then beats you with experience

Heartnsoul768 53M
360 posts
8/26/2005 9:24 pm

In the past I have been up to my elbows in pussy, but never had pussy up to my elbow .... I think I said that right ... I'll be looking forward to your excerpt. This is better reading than the sports page.

1586 posts
8/27/2005 6:59 am

Heartnsoul -

I'm afraid that's all he wrote, my friend.

You'll have to go back to the sports page unless he writes back. If he's read this blog, I'll bet he won't. LOL

AnnandDan2005 71M/67F
23 posts
8/27/2005 10:04 am

Call a man a nympho? Have heard of men called satyrs (is that spelled correctly?).

Goldicocks 43F

8/27/2005 4:23 pm

OMFG! That is some of the funniest drivel I've ever read! I thought the messages I got were bad ... there is no comparison. I bow to the Queen!

1586 posts
8/29/2005 2:52 pm

AnnandDan -

A very nice man that visits my log looked the term up for me because I knew it didn't sound right.

A "nympho" is most definitely not a term applied to a guy. Well, usually...LOL

1586 posts
8/29/2005 2:54 pm

Goldicocks -

Rise. There will be now bowing here! LOL

Anyway, if you'd like to to funnel some of my email your way, just say the word.

five_speed 41M

8/29/2005 6:59 pm

Well, that's the end of it, huh? I still have to wonder if he got a kick out of sending it, knowing how ridiculous is souded, or if he actually expected it to gain him favorable results?

1586 posts
9/6/2005 8:11 am

Five Speed -

Yep. The bitter end.

I was tempted to ask him exactly what you were wondering.

Then I thought about it and figured that I might be opening a dialog that I probably don't want to have. LOL

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