Holiday Edition: "What Not to Say in an Email"  

2208 posts
7/4/2005 1:45 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Holiday Edition: "What Not to Say in an Email"

Happy 4th to you!

What's more American than hitting one right out of the park? Today's winner did just that.

hi, 34, recently divorced, have big dick and balls that have not been drained in months, theyre killin me! Think you could help me get rid of all this excedess CUM!!! Dont worry, I can think of so many FUN ways to return the favor!....holla!

Oh dear. Where to start. I don't need to comment about the grammar, spelling or the Ebonic thingy at the end. You can see that all for yourself.

The word of particular interest is "excedess". Is that a phonetic spelling? Have his balls been wandering in the desert for forty years?

Or maybe it's a shout-out to Steve Miller for making up the word "pompatus". (Listen to his song "The Joker" if you're wondering WTF I'm talking about.)

I have a helpful hint with regard to the murderous balls for today's winner. He didn't read my profile, so the odds of him reading the blog aren't very good. What the hell? I'll take a shot anyway.

Dear Big Dick and Balls,

Take a look at your left arm. Good, now the right. See those things at the end of each of them? They're called "hands" and they are very useful tools. You can use them for many things, including getting your balls under control.

No need to return the favor. The hint was a freebie. I'm nice like that.


The pictures attached to the email were what really put it over the fence. One showed the writer in a pair of satiny looking plum smugglers and the other was a dick pic. Gah! All of my gross-out buttons were pushed and I feel like I need to take a shower.

Well, I'd better get back to my guests before they notice that I've disappeared. LOL

Enjoy the rest of your day!

expatbrit49 62M

7/4/2005 3:57 pm

LOL its the 4th of July arnt you suppose to suggest that he make like a firework and blow

Thank You for Your Time and Attention

rm_jayR63 59F
1884 posts
7/4/2005 6:22 pm

During the reproductive segment of my recent Anatomy & Physiology class, one the boys sheepishly asked what happened to semen if one did not have occasional relief of said fluid.
The answer is, it's reabsorbed into the body, broken down into individual molecular components, and recycled.
Just tell him that, I'm sure he'll understand.

hey- why wasn't i invited?

(Juan S)
2642 posts
7/4/2005 6:32 pm

I thought you were going to tell him that they make a little machine for that now. LOL.
Your answer was more straight to the point(s) though. ha ha.
I need your expertise on a subject in my blog...the post starts off, You know you have...
Ha ha can't wait to hear what you have to say.

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/5/2005 11:50 am

LMAO, keep 'em coming. Poor choice of words, sorry.

[blog talldarkavg1]

keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
7/5/2005 6:03 pm

Jeeze, next time tell Mr. BD&B to just lance them nuts. That ought to do it!

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1586 posts
7/5/2005 7:19 pm

jayR -

Did I say "guests"? I should have said family. That's not the same and you'd be looking for the nearest exit. Consider yourself lucky. LOL

1586 posts
7/5/2005 7:23 pm

Expat -

I responded to your post but it disappeared into the AdultFriendFinder abyss!

What I said was that there was no way I'd use the word "blow" in a sentence if I was talking to that guy.

He'd skip over everything else I said and somehow come up with the idea that I want to blow him. LOL

1586 posts
7/5/2005 7:24 pm

Huh huh, huh, huh...

Talldarkavg said "coming".

1586 posts
7/5/2005 7:25 pm

Keith -

I'm not a dude (at least I wasn't when I last checked) and I crossed my legs at the thought of lanced nuts. LOL

hourglasses 47F

7/5/2005 10:26 pm

And Moses said "Let my balls go!" (you had to see that one coming)

1586 posts
7/6/2005 2:22 pm

Hourglasses -

You had to go there. I understand. LOL

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