Couples Question  

2208 posts
9/24/2005 8:13 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Couples Question

Actually, anyone with any knowledge of The Lifestyle can answer this.

Sometimes I'll get an email from someone representing themselves as part of a couple.

When I say I'm not interested in being a "third", the comeback--or backpedal as I prefer to call it--is that the guy is just looking for a playmate for himself.

Is this a really legitimate couples practice or should I get a clothespin for my nose, a shovel and some hip-waders?

Because I'm not really in The Lifestyle, I honestly don't know what the protocol is.

If someone's looking to play solo, shouldn't he or she state that from the outset?

I have to admit that I have a real distrust of these emails and I've NEVER changed my mind about someone post-backpedal.

Anyway, if someone could shed a little light on the subject for my benefit (and that of anyone else that is interested), it would be very much appreciated.


rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
9/24/2005 9:26 am

Can't help you there DC, I have enough problems with one on one sex.

rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
9/24/2005 10:55 am

I've gotten the same type of emails. I always wonder if the wife really knows or this guy is just out for himself and trying to make people think he's got the okay to play. I mean come on, I'm married, if you are looking just say you're looking, don't lie about it, ya know?

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.

feel_my_heat 36F  
283 posts
9/24/2005 12:10 pm

Hey DC

Lady here. Yes I am part of a couple. When hubby and I first jumped on to AdultFriendFinder we where mainly looking for couples. After a little play we decided that we like solo play better. Hubby has full permission to do what ever he wants and so do I. He started his own profile and I kept this profile as mine. There are alot of fakers out there that will say that they are part of a couple(I get email like that all the time). Hubby never uses this account, he always jumps on his own. He states on his account that he is married and is looking for solo play only. So to answer your question, yes some couples do play apart, not many, but yes there are a few out there. We are one of them. Hope I helped out. Have fun and Happy Hunting.

Kisses to everyone from VA

1586 posts
9/24/2005 3:57 pm

Lady_Heat -

Thanks for clearing that up for me.

I may have to call upon you in the future for more Lifestyle related questions.

Sorry, but you may have inherited the role of "go-to girl" every time I need to know something.

1586 posts
9/24/2005 4:01 pm

Daphne -

I guess it all boils down to some simple math.

To me, the backpedal = lying = no further response from me. LOL

keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
9/25/2005 5:49 am

Players exist in every "sub-group". Beware...

feel_my_heat 36F  
283 posts
9/25/2005 7:18 am

mmmmmmmmm Kool Aid, see now I have to go get me a cup!

Hey DC

Glad I could help. I'm here when ever you need me for future questions.

Kisses to Everyone from VA

1586 posts
9/25/2005 1:21 pm

TomEboy -

Somehow The Lifestyle seems to be a better (more modern?) term than "swinging".

I think a lot of people have this weird image that swinging consists of red velvet walls, leathery women in miniskirts and guys wearing gold medallions and Brut cologne.

I think a new phrase was definitely in order, so The Lifestyle will have to suffice.

(If you're in the Lifestyle, please note that what I just said was a joke. I already have enough people mad at me. LO

1586 posts
9/25/2005 2:20 pm

Keith -

I think the ratio of players per capita goes wayyyyy up on a site like this one.

I tend not to trust anyone until they prove I can trust them.

That might take awhile, but I can be patient when I want to be.

hornyashell639 41M
1 post
9/26/2005 10:30 am

What are you looking for? What do you like? You have to shift threw it with a hard shovel of realism for expectations. No holding back.

frogger1995 39F

9/28/2005 8:14 pm

I've personally come to the conclusion that a lot of these "couples" are really men posing as a couple, because they get higher views. Notices how on a lot of them you only see pics of one person? Suspicious!

rm_doc_taboo 59M

9/29/2005 9:34 pm

Hi DC, love your sense of humor and getting right to the point! In answer to your earlier question, a guy (and I'm a guy..) should NEVER misrepresent himself as a couple unless he is swinging as a couple, whether or not it's his wife. Yes, there are couples that do play apart, or one does and the other doesn't. Whatever. That's their business for whatever reason, but if he's on his own he should either say so, or at the very least not lie about being a couple to get a hookup as a 'single' guy. I never do, personally.. if I'm partying as a couple, I say so, and if not, as is currently the case, it's "WM/48 etc etc".. you get my point. I don't and won't pose. Of course that's just my opinion. A lot of guys think they won't get any hits if they show they are 'single'. (Right, Frogger? ) May or may not be true, but man, lyin' about it sure as shit isn't gonna get him anywhere fast if he DOES get response. Just my 2 cents for what it's worth.. Hope that answered your question. Have a good one!


1586 posts
10/2/2005 4:46 pm

Hornyashell -

Um...what I'm looking for and what I like is on my profile.

1586 posts
10/2/2005 4:48 pm

Frogger -

Suspicious indeed.

Like you said, a lot of so-called couples profiles don't seem very couple-y at all. LOL

Backpedal with me and it's over.

I don't know why anyone would lie because the truth is bound to come out eventually.

1586 posts
10/2/2005 4:50 pm

Doc -

I'm glad you appreciate my getting to the point. I'm sure it's not appreciated in a lot of circles, but this is the one that counts.

You did answer my question.

Between you and Lady Heat, I think I now have the hook-up when I have Lifestyle-related questions.


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