Attention: White Men Who Date Interracially (and Anyone Else That Cares to Read This Post)  

DCEbony
2208 posts
7/6/2006 4:33 pm

Last Read:
8/13/2006 6:15 pm

Attention: White Men Who Date Interracially (and Anyone Else That Cares to Read This Post)

Greetings, all!

Anyone familiar with my blog knows how I feel about dabblers and experimenters. You know - guys that "try" different ethnic groups because they have preconceived notions as to what the experience will be like. Like checking an item off of a grocery list.

DCE's Rule of Thumb:

If someone wants to date me for the person I am, cool. I feel kind of sorry for him, but it's cool nonetheless. LOL

If the guy's sole interest in me is my delightful chocolately coating, definitely not cool. I'm not fascinated by skin color, so I don't relate well to people who do.

Anyway, this is an email I received recently. Observe:

I would love to chat with you some and see where it will take us. I have chocolate fever and its been somewhat hard finding the cure for it. I would love to have the chance to meet you. Take a look at me please and see if you would be interested in me. I will travel. Bye Girlfriend lol (name deleted) x

I have to admit that the "chocolate fever" and "Girlfriend" parts made me laugh - in a mirthless way. Hell, not even my girlfriends call me "Girlfriend". LOL

Interracial daters, please do this guy (and many others) a favor by sharing what you feel makes you successful.

I know what sort of approach works for me and I'm curious to see what other people have to say on the subject.

Cheers.



lustcurious42 56F

7/6/2006 4:54 pm

Oh gosh, I've dated a black man for years now......love him so much. While we talk about our differences as a learning experience, our relationship is not about our color. I love him for the person inside and I hope he loves me for the same reason. I would have been offended had I ever thought he was dating me because I was white...... Some people will just never get it though. I realize people have different things they are attracted to, that's a reality. But that cannot be the defining reason why you want to meet or date someone.


TheRealThing655 48F
9558 posts
7/6/2006 4:58 pm

Chocolate fever? Where do these guys come up with this stuff?
I have never dated interacially...I'm openminded but just never met anyone.
I have no idea what approach to use but I will be interested to hear yours and others ideas for these situations...
To me it is just disgusting to bring someone's race or skin color into the picture so blatantly...but as you know, there are ALL types on here my friend.


secondtimeluck00 46F

7/6/2006 5:03 pm

I don't have a problem at all if a guy tells me that he has a Yellow Fever cos I have a bit of a White Fever as well as I find Caucasian guys generally speaking more physically attractive. Ppl are attracted to different sorts of looks, so I really have no problem with that phrase at all.

But if I know he is trying out different races just for the sake of trying them out, yes, that will irritate the hell out of me and makes me feel disrespected because he will be dating me not because of me (skin colour is part of me as well) but because I am one of the white rats in the lab that he wants to try out.


Djeeper1987 47M

7/6/2006 5:07 pm

I have only dated an asian once. Thats about it. So far a black woman has shown me interest. What I like is that they show interest. Who cares about the color of there skin.

Carpe Diem


qyxx 59F
3267 posts
7/6/2006 5:13 pm

I once dated a white man and, since it was never an issue with me, it suddenly hit me that he was attracted to me not as a person but as a black woman. It was an instant turn-off to me.; to make a long story short, he was history. A lot of guys on here have jungle fever, in that it is something that they have heard about and want to try. It used to piss me off. Now I see it for what it is and dismiss them.

Not to say that there are not men on here that are genuinely interested in the person.

Interestingly enough, I don't see any comments from men yet

Q.


alamo1235 58M
995 posts
7/6/2006 5:25 pm

I have dated small medium and large sized women, I have also dated women of different races or ethnic backgrounds than myself.

Thet all had one thing in common however I found them interesting and fantasicing for what was inside them not the outside such as race, ethnic or size issues.

At least for me looking at the person for what they are on the inside seems to work the best.


2dancew2 53M/50F

7/6/2006 5:50 pm

Just be yourself, meet people and let stuff happen. I wonder is it wrong to tell someone that you find the colour of their skin attractive? For myself I know that there are several shades of skin that I find very pleasing. My lady has the most beautiful olive skin. I compliment her on it often. That said, I find her attractive because she's Tea not because she has beautiful skin. I think if you want to date someone just because of their skin colour your making a big mistake.


rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
7/6/2006 6:09 pm

Why when I imagine him saying "girlfriend" do I hear Ricjard Simmons'voice?

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


BenefitsFriend69 57M/60F

7/6/2006 7:59 pm

This subject fascinates me. Why are we attracted to the kinds of people we are attracted to? Nurture, of course. Ya know, like, "I dated a black woman and it was great so I wanna do that again," etc. We tend to want to repeat what made us happy in the past. Action creates memory, memory creates desire, desire creates action again.

Then, there's fantasy. I know a lot of white women who wanna try black men because of the dick size thing, and the whole concept of opposites attracting. Opposites attract, black on white, you get the idea. I think that can be hot from a purely sexual perspective. Maybe that's where your admirer's head is here.

Personally, I have been with women that were very physically attractive, but were not sexy to me at all once they opened their mouths. And the reverse - women to whom I was not attracted much physically, but got sexy as hell as I got to know them. And all points in between. Also, being comfortable around someone is huge with me.

All I know is, if a man doesn't come up from between your legs with his face looking like a choclate donut girlfriend, you're with the wrong man....

xoxo
Dimples


chasingfun27 38M
1108 posts
7/7/2006 2:12 am

    Quoting BenefitsFriend69:
    This subject fascinates me. Why are we attracted to the kinds of people we are attracted to? Nurture, of course. Ya know, like, "I dated a black woman and it was great so I wanna do that again," etc. We tend to want to repeat what made us happy in the past. Action creates memory, memory creates desire, desire creates action again.

    Then, there's fantasy. I know a lot of white women who wanna try black men because of the dick size thing, and the whole concept of opposites attracting. Opposites attract, black on white, you get the idea. I think that can be hot from a purely sexual perspective. Maybe that's where your admirer's head is here.

    Personally, I have been with women that were very physically attractive, but were not sexy to me at all once they opened their mouths. And the reverse - women to whom I was not attracted much physically, but got sexy as hell as I got to know them. And all points in between. Also, being comfortable around someone is huge with me.

    All I know is, if a man doesn't come up from between your legs with his face looking like a choclate donut girlfriend, you're with the wrong man....

    xoxo
    Dimples
Face like a CHOCOLATE donught?!

I'm not even going to comment.


digdug41 49M

7/7/2006 3:27 am

I dont care what color you are just show me love

roaming the cyber streets of blogland


Heartnsoul768 52M
360 posts
7/7/2006 4:36 am

I have dated interracially 4 times .... All beautiful women, and they all said I was a nice guy. I guess that was my approach, just being nice. Things didn't work out for them to more than "casual" dating due to differing circumstances, but a good time was had by all.


rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
7/7/2006 1:55 pm

    Quoting rm_DaphneR:
    Why when I imagine him saying "girlfriend" do I hear Ricjard Simmons'voice?
Ricjard? I know, I was typing with a spanish accent. I am in New Mexico after all.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


rm_shaveclean2 56M/42F
691 posts
7/7/2006 7:02 pm

LMFAO!!!!!! Okay......He Must Think That Black Women ARE Gum Smackin Hand On Hips Havin, and Corn Roll Wearin, SISTAS Watching Old Episodes Of Good Times!!!!

g


g


BenefitsFriend69 57M/60F

7/8/2006 11:09 am

    Quoting chasingfun27:
    Face like a CHOCOLATE donught?!

    I'm not even going to comment.
Oh shit! I mean, oh no! I did NOT mean it that way... lol.


DCEbony
1586 posts
7/8/2006 3:34 pm

    Quoting lustcurious42:
    Oh gosh, I've dated a black man for years now......love him so much. While we talk about our differences as a learning experience, our relationship is not about our color. I love him for the person inside and I hope he loves me for the same reason. I would have been offended had I ever thought he was dating me because I was white...... Some people will just never get it though. I realize people have different things they are attracted to, that's a reality. But that cannot be the defining reason why you want to meet or date someone.
Lustcurious -

I'm guessing that we're members of the same club.

I truly do not care about the color of someone's skin. In fact, I don't tend to notice until other people point it out. LOL

Thanks for visiting!


DCEbony
1586 posts
7/8/2006 3:37 pm

    Quoting TheRealThing655:
    Chocolate fever? Where do these guys come up with this stuff?
    I have never dated interacially...I'm openminded but just never met anyone.
    I have no idea what approach to use but I will be interested to hear yours and others ideas for these situations...
    To me it is just disgusting to bring someone's race or skin color into the picture so blatantly...but as you know, there are ALL types on here my friend.
TRT -

I guess he substituted "chocolate" for "jungle" figuring that it would be less offensive. Well, it didn't work. LOL

I have never actively sought out an opportunity to date someone of a different race so I find it so strange. If I liked the guy, I went out with him. Skin color never played into it.


DCEbony
1586 posts
7/8/2006 3:39 pm

    Quoting secondtimeluck00:
    I don't have a problem at all if a guy tells me that he has a Yellow Fever cos I have a bit of a White Fever as well as I find Caucasian guys generally speaking more physically attractive. Ppl are attracted to different sorts of looks, so I really have no problem with that phrase at all.

    But if I know he is trying out different races just for the sake of trying them out, yes, that will irritate the hell out of me and makes me feel disrespected because he will be dating me not because of me (skin colour is part of me as well) but because I am one of the white rats in the lab that he wants to try out.
Secondtime -

I like white guys as much as I do any other type of guy. I just don't see a need to point out the obvious, but that's just me.

I think the best part of this dude's email is the fact he put it right out there. He isn't interested in me. He's just interested in someone chocolate, period. LOL

I'm not into being a lab rat, so good luck to him.

Thanks for visiting.


DCEbony
1586 posts
7/8/2006 3:41 pm

    Quoting Djeeper1987:
    I have only dated an asian once. Thats about it. So far a black woman has shown me interest. What I like is that they show interest. Who cares about the color of there skin.
Djeeper -

I'm with you. I couldn't care less about skin color.

Like I said, the only time I tend to notice is when it's pointed out to me.

Thanks for visiting.


DCEbony
1586 posts
7/8/2006 3:46 pm

    Quoting qyxx:
    I once dated a white man and, since it was never an issue with me, it suddenly hit me that he was attracted to me not as a person but as a black woman. It was an instant turn-off to me.; to make a long story short, he was history. A lot of guys on here have jungle fever, in that it is something that they have heard about and want to try. It used to piss me off. Now I see it for what it is and dismiss them.

    Not to say that there are not men on here that are genuinely interested in the person.

    Interestingly enough, I don't see any comments from men yet
gyxx -

I had that happen to me once just before what promised to be an intimate moment. Long story short, he slipped up with something he said. It wasn't a epithet, but it was insulting nonetheless.

Talk about turning a cold shower onto the proceedings. The timing sucked, but I was glad I found out what he was about before anything further happened. He couldn't see why I was irritated and that was a problem. Game over, man. LOL

For the record, I never bother with the dabblers. I figure that there are enough people on this website that they're bound to run into someone willing to fulfill the "fantasy".


DCEbony
1586 posts
7/8/2006 3:49 pm

    Quoting alamo1235:
    I have dated small medium and large sized women, I have also dated women of different races or ethnic backgrounds than myself.

    Thet all had one thing in common however I found them interesting and fantasicing for what was inside them not the outside such as race, ethnic or size issues.

    At least for me looking at the person for what they are on the inside seems to work the best.
Alamo -

When you're dating someone, I always figure it should be for reasons beyond the superficial just as you pointed out.

If you like a specific physical type and you're finally alone with him or her, then what? If there isn't any interest other than the outside appearance, it'll be a long, awkward evening. LOL

Thanks for visiting my blog.


DCEbony
1586 posts
7/8/2006 3:53 pm

    Quoting 2dancew2:
    Just be yourself, meet people and let stuff happen. I wonder is it wrong to tell someone that you find the colour of their skin attractive? For myself I know that there are several shades of skin that I find very pleasing. My lady has the most beautiful olive skin. I compliment her on it often. That said, I find her attractive because she's Tea not because she has beautiful skin. I think if you want to date someone just because of their skin colour your making a big mistake.
2dancew2 -

That's the key - be yourself.

I don't think it's wrong to find someone's skin color attractive, but I would never tell someone that my interest in them is SOLELY their skin color. It wouldn't even cross my mind to tell a man, "Mmm...I just love your white skin." LOL


DCEbony
1586 posts
7/8/2006 3:55 pm

    Quoting rm_DaphneR:
    Why when I imagine him saying "girlfriend" do I hear Ricjard Simmons'voice?
Daphne -

Not only do I imagine the Richard Simmons voice, but I can picture him saying it with a head swivel and a snap of the fingers.

Mmmm-hmmmm.

Go on wit'cher bad self, Girlfriend.


DCEbony
1586 posts
7/8/2006 4:01 pm

    Quoting BenefitsFriend69:
    This subject fascinates me. Why are we attracted to the kinds of people we are attracted to? Nurture, of course. Ya know, like, "I dated a black woman and it was great so I wanna do that again," etc. We tend to want to repeat what made us happy in the past. Action creates memory, memory creates desire, desire creates action again.

    Then, there's fantasy. I know a lot of white women who wanna try black men because of the dick size thing, and the whole concept of opposites attracting. Opposites attract, black on white, you get the idea. I think that can be hot from a purely sexual perspective. Maybe that's where your admirer's head is here.

    Personally, I have been with women that were very physically attractive, but were not sexy to me at all once they opened their mouths. And the reverse - women to whom I was not attracted much physically, but got sexy as hell as I got to know them. And all points in between. Also, being comfortable around someone is huge with me.

    All I know is, if a man doesn't come up from between your legs with his face looking like a choclate donut girlfriend, you're with the wrong man....

    xoxo
    Dimples
Dimples -

Even if you had a good experience with someone from a specific ethnicity, I don't see how someone could assume it would be the same with the next person he or she happened to meet. LOL

I understand the concept of fantasy, but sometimes people get so wrapped up in stereotypes that they're bound to be disappointed in "real life". I have a good idea of what Mr. Chocolate Fever is seeking and I'm pretty sure I will never fit his bill unless his sitting looking at my skin color is going to get him off.

As for the chocolate glazed donut thing, if that happens, it means that both parties have a major league problem.


DCEbony
1586 posts
7/8/2006 4:02 pm

    Quoting digdug41:
    I dont care what color you are just show me love
Precisely, Double D.

That's all anyone is looking for when you really think about it...


DCEbony
1586 posts
7/8/2006 4:04 pm

    Quoting Heartnsoul768:
    I have dated interracially 4 times .... All beautiful women, and they all said I was a nice guy. I guess that was my approach, just being nice. Things didn't work out for them to more than "casual" dating due to differing circumstances, but a good time was had by all.
Heartnsoul -

You just confirmed what 2dancew2 said - just be yourself.

If two personalities are meant to click, they will.


DCEbony
1586 posts
7/8/2006 4:06 pm

    Quoting humboldthonni:
    I know how I would feel if an ethnic man said he had 'white fever'.....couldnt hit the delete button soon enough
Honni -

I know you'll be amazed, but I somehow manage not to respond to emails like those. LOL


DCEbony
1586 posts
7/8/2006 4:08 pm

    Quoting rm_shaveclean2:
    LMFAO!!!!!! Okay......He Must Think That Black Women ARE Gum Smackin Hand On Hips Havin, and Corn Roll Wearin, SISTAS Watching Old Episodes Of Good Times!!!!

    g
g -

Don't forget the booty shorts and the "drop it like it's hot" dance moves.

We all have them, remember?

LOL


DCEbony
1586 posts
7/8/2006 4:10 pm

    Quoting chasingfun27:
    Face like a CHOCOLATE donught?!

    I'm not even going to comment.
Chasing -

Your brain went exactly where mine went.

I feel like we need to shower. LMAO


chasingfun27 38M
1108 posts
7/9/2006 3:09 am

    Quoting DCEbony:
    Chasing -

    Your brain went exactly where mine went.

    I feel like we need to shower. LMAO
Woohoo! To the shower we go...girlfriend.


rm_shaveclean2 56M/42F
691 posts
7/9/2006 7:19 pm

    Quoting DCEbony:
    g -

    Don't forget the booty shorts and the "drop it like it's hot" dance moves.

    We all have them, remember?

    LOL
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!

g


DakR1972 44M  

7/12/2006 10:32 pm

Late to the game once again. I'm sorry, DC, I'm slipping here, aren't I?

Well, you know that I'm involved with a Japanese woman. She's everything in the world to me. But it never has been about her nationality or looks. In fact, we fell for each other at a time when I wasn't looking for someone to begin with! I was just looking for friends in Japan to help me learn better Japanese. We realized after a few months there were things about each other we thought were very interesting. We'd exchanged pictures and began chatting online, and then we met in person. It wasn't until we met that everything fell into place, and I knew I was in love with her, and she was in love with me.

All women have unique qualities that make them attractive, be it their smile, their eyes, their hair color, their humor, their intelligence, their body...no one has the exact same combination, and that's what makes us all that much more interesting. If a person is only looking to "check one off the list" they are being petty and shallow, not to mention perpetuating unrealistic derogatory stereotypes.

YAY! I got my big word quotient in for the night!


DCEbony
1586 posts
7/13/2006 9:00 am

    Quoting DakR1972:
    Late to the game once again. I'm sorry, DC, I'm slipping here, aren't I?

    Well, you know that I'm involved with a Japanese woman. She's everything in the world to me. But it never has been about her nationality or looks. In fact, we fell for each other at a time when I wasn't looking for someone to begin with! I was just looking for friends in Japan to help me learn better Japanese. We realized after a few months there were things about each other we thought were very interesting. We'd exchanged pictures and began chatting online, and then we met in person. It wasn't until we met that everything fell into place, and I knew I was in love with her, and she was in love with me.

    All women have unique qualities that make them attractive, be it their smile, their eyes, their hair color, their humor, their intelligence, their body...no one has the exact same combination, and that's what makes us all that much more interesting. If a person is only looking to "check one off the list" they are being petty and shallow, not to mention perpetuating unrealistic derogatory stereotypes.

    YAY! I got my big word quotient in for the night!
Dak -

Nothing wrong with showing up to the party a little late. So long as you get there before the hostess starts clearing the glasses away, you're cool.

This guy I knew once upon a time strictly dated "Asians" as he put it. Yeah..."Asian" narrows it down. It's not like Asia is a huge continent or anything. LOL

It used to creep me out because he had this stereotype in mind and the women never lived up to the image he had in his pea brain. You'd think he'd learn after awhile, but as far as I know, he's still on his bizarre quest for the perfect Asian woman.

Way to go on the big word quotient, btw. LOL


rm_whitechoc326 50M/52F
12 posts
7/31/2006 9:00 pm

hi dc ebony,, its been a long time but i really have to say your blogs are entertaining ,funny,& ablast w/o racial crap you should consider getting your laugh on & becoming a comedian LOTS OF REAL LOVE WHITECHOC


rm_whitechoc326 50M/52F
12 posts
8/1/2006 8:23 pm

Hi DC EBONY, Why cant we just all forget our differences & just get along !!!!! I could go on & on ,in fact it just leans toward the road to nowhere...EBONY just makes my teeter totter; nothing has to be explained but to me as far as skin color the dark tan turns me on & makes me insanely wild....As far as stereotype men since early times have leaned towards women w/ a darker tan.....people need to grow up first personality comes into play then attitude w/ physical attraction ....scenario 1 Horny drunk guy in a bar sees a white girl w/small tits & the same equal looks from an EBONY girl w/beautiful boobs 38dd,s who do you think the man will pick get the picture......DC EBONY I,ve looked through so many of your blogs & loved everyone gyxxx learn from her


DCEbony
1586 posts
8/13/2006 6:15 pm

    Quoting rm_whitechoc326:
    Hi DC EBONY, Why cant we just all forget our differences & just get along !!!!! I could go on & on ,in fact it just leans toward the road to nowhere...EBONY just makes my teeter totter; nothing has to be explained but to me as far as skin color the dark tan turns me on & makes me insanely wild....As far as stereotype men since early times have leaned towards women w/ a darker tan.....people need to grow up first personality comes into play then attitude w/ physical attraction ....scenario 1 Horny drunk guy in a bar sees a white girl w/small tits & the same equal looks from an EBONY girl w/beautiful boobs 38dd,s who do you think the man will pick get the picture......DC EBONY I,ve looked through so many of your blogs & loved everyone gyxxx learn from her
Whitechoc -

I'm glad you're taking my blog in the spirit in which it's meant - it's harmless, dumbass fun.

gyxx does indeed rock. I wanna be just like her when I grow up.

Thanks for visiting me, btw...


WeLikeToWatch2 55M/61F

11/16/2006 12:08 pm

------ Observation ------

Do to 'PC', appears as though the White folks, must be so careful in how they 'express' themselves, Again !!
Certain / many words get the minorities, all Hot and Bothered, but 'certain' words do NOT get the Whites, all Hot and Bothered - WHY ???
Fair is Fair........


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