Is it abnormal for me to want sex at least twice a week?  

CuntSlurpa 45M
105 posts
9/21/2005 7:07 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Is it abnormal for me to want sex at least twice a week?

It seems like almost every married man sings the same refrain. "We don't have sex often enough."

Sure, men and women have different sexual needs. Most women want to be romanced before sex, most men consider anything much more than dinner and a movie to be a waste of time.

What I wonder though is why does it seem that my wife would be quite happy to have sex once per year (if that), when I would rather enjoy an intimate hour or so with her at least a couple of times a week?

O.K. so, the problem in the past few years has been mostly my fault. After all, I was the one who went elsewhere to get my needs met - even though I did so only as a last resort, and partially with the belief that it was better to fuck a woman who wanted to have sex than force myself on a woman I loved who didn't. But even before that my wife seemed to regard sex as a dirty chore, and one that she would rather not do.

I guess what I keep coming back to is the question "which one of us is in the wrong?" Is the fact that I want sex at least a couple of times a week too much? Am I wrong to think about having sex with my wife on a beach at sunset, or on a blanket under the full moon on a warm night?

I understand that not all my fantasies would be hers too. (Letting me watch while she is pleasured by another man is never going to happen, and I don't believe she would ever be comfortable watching pornography.) That doesn't matter. What bugs me is that some of the fantasies she does share will never be more than that unless she is willing to let them. Who knows, perhaps if she tried making love under the stars once in a while sex wouldn't be such a chore!

sexysweetlover25 36F

9/21/2005 8:21 am

Honey she is most certainly in the wrong. My hubby and I have sex 3 times a day and yet I still want more. The more you have great sex the more you want. It's like a drug.
Maybe you should take her to a sex therapist and find out why her drive is so low.

CuntSlurpa 45M
131 posts
9/21/2005 11:30 am

She did go to a (regular) therapist... but then she gave up, because they told her things she didn't like to hear.

The main problem (as far as I can tell) is that she keeps saying to herself that she simply isn't sexy. Of course, me going elsewhere just reinforced that, even though I only went elsewhere because *I* needed sex that didn't feel like I was comitting . Not a smart move on my part.

sexysweetlover25 36F

9/22/2005 11:55 am

Just a thought on how to get her to open up in more than one way. Buy some roses or her favorite flowers, put them in a vase in a place of the house where she will see them leaning against the vase should be a letter that you hand wrote to her. In the letter tell her how beautiful she is how much you desire her. If you have been married awhile let her know how she is even more desirable now then when you were first married her, that your love for her has grown. Explain to her why you want to make love to her. Let her know that it’s a way of expressing your deep love for her. Let her know you want to pleasure her and not yourself. Revel to her some of the ways you want to pleasure her, use sexy words get her blood flowing with this letter. Women enjoy reading about sex, it lets them use their imaginations.

The reason most married woman want to be romanced is because they don’t understand that sex is not just about urges when you’re married. It’s about giving and receiving love. What better way to show your love and desire for someone then to give them your body.
Pleasure is something that should be given freely and not just received.

The next time you make love make sure her needs are met first before penetration. See to it that she has one or two good orgasm first. This way she won’t feel like a pit stop.
When your in the mood don’t tell her with words show her with your body. Kiss her neck, massage her shoulders. Lead her to the bedroom without a word. If she starts to talk kiss her don’t you say a word about sex. Women like a strong man that knows what he wants and shouldn’t have to ask. Sometimes the spoken word before sex can be a turn off.
My husband does this to me every time and it works every time. We didn’t always used to have sex 3 times a day. It was more where you are. As long as he doesn’t say a word I just know and my juices start to flow and I’m instantly aroused.
Try this and let me know how it works out.

CuntSlurpa 45M
131 posts
9/22/2005 1:18 pm

Thanks for the suggestions.

You're right that married sex is (or should be) more about giving and receiving love. I have always tried to give as much as I can, and usually bring my wife to orgasm performing oral sex on her before going for penetration. The really frustrating thing is that she can't (or claims she can't) cope with more than one orgasm. There has been more than one occasion where she has had (or pretended to have) an orgasm then excused herself and spent the next 20 minutes in the bathroom. As you might expect, that kills the mood somewhat.

The letter idea is a good one. I'll try it soon, and post back here about how well (or otherwise) it works.

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