Vacation Sex  

CruelKitty 45F
272 posts
3/6/2006 7:49 pm

Last Read:
3/9/2006 1:30 pm

Vacation Sex

My friend J dropped a bomb on me today. This is the girl who is engaged. Her fiance is totally hot. She's also one of the friends that I am going to Vegas with in April. What was shocking to me is that she's planning to be a 'ho in Vegas. Now, the first time she mentioned this was at Diva's birthday party. At the time, I thought she meant she was going to be dressing like a 'ho. Well, today, I found out that she has invited one of her internet guy friends to meet us in Vegas. I'm not sure how I feel about this. If I didn't know her fiance, I wouldn't give a shit. But...he's a great guy. So would she be cheating? Or because they aren't married yet, is it still acceptable? Anyway, during the course of other conversations with girls I work with, it seems to be the common opinion that if you have a fling with someone who is at least 2 states away, it doesn't count. That means that vacation sex is definitely in the cards for these women if they travel without their husbands. I don't know what would be right for me, since I've come anywhere close to a committed relationship. And I certainly won't be passing judgement on them. I know their circumstances and they could certainly make good arguments for what they believe. I just kinda wonder if it ever came down to it, could I cheat? What would I even consider to be cheating?


3/6/2006 8:26 pm

if you have a fling with someone who is at least 2 states away, it doesn't count.

This would be consistent with the general idea that it's OK to do it you never get caught. Not that I think that's OK for me but if a couple agrees about these things and holds tight to it maybe rules like that could actually serve as bond of sorts. Who knows?

Only you can answer if you would cheat. Maybe this group of friends also made agreement with their husbands about the two state rule. Have you asked them that? Do it and see how they respond to that question and report back to us here.

Whatever you do don't meddle into it though. (as in tattletale) You might end up as some form of "shot messenger" that way.


climbmelikeatree 47M
80 posts
3/6/2006 8:34 pm

Ae least they are smart enough to adhere to the out of state rule(local flings often get found out). As to whether it's the right thing to do -not so easy to call. I guess it comes down to each person. It says something for you that the idea bothers you at all. Would I do it? I don't know. Planning it in advance does seem a little crass. I hope that if I was in love enough to be engaged the idea of cheating (especially so early on) wouldn't appeal to me. What would constitute cheating? I guess if this was planned behind my back I might already consider some form of it to have gone down.

rm_art_persists 51M
1789 posts
3/6/2006 9:20 pm

You have to make your own judgement. Is it immoral? yes. Cheating involves duplicity and she definitely won't be telling her fiance. In the end, I'll never cheat on my other (although I have). I will be upfront if I wish to seek sex outside our relationship.

AdventureBeckons 43M
145 posts
3/8/2006 5:55 am

I agree with you, the premeditated nature of it just seems to make it worse. But that is a matter of perception. Cheating is cheating. I suppose it is better that she do it before they tie the knot, but I know I would walk away if I found out that sort of thing had happened. I went to a friend's bachelor party and witnessed similar goings on, and I just couldn't be a part of it.

rm_1hotwahine 62F
21091 posts
3/8/2006 10:20 am

Personally, for me the idea of "cheating" involves lying or betrayal. Whatever is accepted within a situation is what it is, but not necessarily cheating. So I guess the question is - is it accepted behavior for them?

Everyone handles things differently, but I think I'd have to have this basic conversation with her and also to make it clear where I stood on peripheral issues like covering stories, etc. Not like a big judgemental thing, but just kind of sharing the 'this is kinda weird for me' parts.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

Seduction4u2006 47M
12 posts
3/9/2006 8:22 am

Well what happend in vegas,,,stays in vegas,,,at least that's the thought process. Is it stil cheating?? Of course!!! Married or not, she has some sort of commitment or promise. Not like I can talk, but call it what it is.

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