Arse licking the Queen.  

Cousin_Norman 62M
458 posts
6/15/2006 5:56 am

Last Read:
6/17/2006 1:58 pm

Arse licking the Queen.

Today the Queen of England celebrates her 80th birthday. One of them anyway, She has two birthdays per year, don't you know.

To celebrate she is having a low key lunch at the Mansion House. Only about five hundred SPECIAL guests will be attending.

Prime Minister, Tony Blair is one of the guests, as well as ex Prime Ministers, the Lord Mayor, Church leaders and so on. "The usual arse licker's". No doubt sucking up to her in anticipation of receiving their Knighthoods and peerages in the future.

One thing annoys me about all this pomp. Why, when I tell a good joke, nobody laughs, but when the Queen tells a crap joke, everybody laughs ??? Now I just don't think that's fair.

phoenix639 49F

6/16/2006 7:47 am

Tony my dear....pray tell us a good joke so we can laugh then. Lol.

When have you said good jokes? Mine are better!!

Lets get a good joke posted then my fellow scouser.

Ive left HRH lunch was boring. Too many scouse blonde jokes for me. Plus theyre a pervy bunch you know.

Those goddam dogs...need castrating they do.

niceguy20402 56M

6/16/2006 4:21 pm

Dear Norman,

If the Queen told some of my jokes I am sure everybody would laugh and she would not be harrassed and insulted by a dried up 57 year old Granny named SSS.

Cousin_Norman 62M

6/16/2006 6:47 pm

Hey Phoe,

You do tell better jokes than me, but Elizabeth only has to open her mouth to get a laugh. In many ways the people that pretend to adore her are like some people on this site. Very fake and dishonest.

I think you would make a better Queen. That would be great. A SCOUSE Queen.

Cousin_Norman 62M

6/16/2006 6:57 pm


I am stuck between a rock and a hard place here mate. I have a soft spot for SSS. I know you both don't get on, but I like the both of you. I don't like the personal attacks you dish out to each other, but I suppose that's life and I hope you both understand.

SolarPowered0 67M
8018 posts
6/16/2006 9:15 pm


When she opens her mouth, that's reason for laughter. You Brits need to work out something where you can vote for the Queen (royalty aside), as we do, here, on the other side of the pond - say every four years? She could run on a platform of "no bad jokes."

It won't get rid of bad jokes nor the "arse-lickers"... but it will provide you with a new queen periodically. That in itself should be worth the change. Maybe a younger, more supple one with a penchant for arse-lickin' of the lower class? Perhaps even weekly installments on the BBC; "Here Cums the Queen" or "The Black Adder Goes Anal."

Cheers, Mate!

Solar... (out of the clear blue of the Western Sky)

phoenix639 49F

6/17/2006 12:32 am

Solar....thats what our Parliament is for, a Prime Minister.

The Queen is something entirely different altogether, alon with the Royal Family.

Im not a Royalist at all but i think the history of some great Kings & Queens of our past is worth keeping the Royal Family for.

Some do some fabulous work thats never publicised, some are a waste of space.

Cousin_Norman 62M

6/17/2006 5:13 am

Great to see you back Solar matey. You have been missed by many people.

Cousin_Norman 62M

6/17/2006 5:36 am


This is were we have a little difference of opinion. I am not a Royalist at all. I would like to see a Republic. Royalty and the aristocracy only got were they are by stealing, , and pillaging England. I am not in to religion a lot either, but I do believe that all men are created equal. I really do think it is obscene that Royalty should think that they are special. If they had an ounce of decency they would abdicate and give all their wealth to the poorest in the world.

I look at it this way. If the Queen would not invite me to one of her parties [and believe me she wouldn't] because she thinks I am not important enough, then she is not the type of person I have time for.

SolarPowered0 67M
8018 posts
6/17/2006 6:52 am


The idea of "electing" a queen isn't for the purpose of someone to run the government... it would be merely for sport. With no restrictions on the number of terms, the people would then have the ultimate, yet independent, word in who reigns and for what reasons - without the populace resorting to be-headings or hangings.


I couldn't agree more. ALL Royalty should have gone the way of the horseless carriage - obsolete. Mind you, Presidents, P.M.'s, Parliament or Congress ain't necessarily any "better" at runnin' the show - but they ain't Royalty! I am of the opinion that when your shit don't stink... something is very wrong!

Thomas Jefferson (our 3rd Pres.)was relatively straight forward in his outlook toward government... (this is not an exact quote but his gist is made obvious) ...'The country needs an armed revolution every twenty years to keep the elected officials... on their toes.'

An interesting side note: One saying from the American Revolution... "No King But King Jesus."


BTW: Thanks for the welcome, matey.

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