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Blaze of Glory
Blaze of Glory
Oh man, shot down again because I went bowling with a high school girl! Something does not compute here.
This gorgeous funny girl emailed me, and we did a little email tag back and forth before finally getting a chance to talk. We talked for about an hour, and of course, the inevitable question, "How many people have you met from here?" came up. So I told my story of Carolyn and The Mystery of the Wet Cell Phone. Chat log ensues!
corrupt_me_79 (11:21:27 PM): There's not much to it, though. She was a high school girl, and she invited me to go bowling with her friends. She was practically inseparable from her best friend, though, and I was there all alone, so it's not like I could get her alone to talk to. I called her a few more times to see if she wanted to go out alone (after determining that I wasn't insane) but she didn't call back. She told me on IM that she dropped her phone in water and didn't get anyone's messages, but I never called her after that.
corrupt_me_79 (11:22:05 PM): She WAS a total cutie, though.
Hot Woman (11:22:22 PM): How old was she?
corrupt_me_79 (11:22:54 PM): 18 in her profile, 17 in real life... which I found out afterwards
Hot Woman (11:23:09 PM): OMG....you have to be careful
Hot Woman (11:23:20 PM): Do you usually go for younger girls?
corrupt_me_79 (11:23:34 PM): No, I actually tend to prefer older
corrupt_me_79 (11:23:45 PM): But young ones have their appeal too
Hot Woman (11:23:57 PM): Yes...I think that's true
The next say she sends me an IM saying that she doesn't think she could be attracted to someone who went out with a 17-year-old.
I am 25. 17 is a little young, and obviously there's no AdultFriendFinder profile on here that says 17, so I assumed 18 was legit. And I didn't even go out with her again! But still, would I date a 17-year-old? Probably not, but I wouldn't say never. I can't see myself having a serious relationship with someone that young, but going out doesn't necessarily mean 4 hours of pounding sex every time you lay eyes on each other.
What bothers me here is the idea that I somehow can't have fun with someone who's 8 years younger than me, and that it's wrong for me to enjoy the company of someone that young. Just because I meet someone from this site doesn't mean I'm going to be having sex with them! So I would go out with someone 8 years younger than me... so what?! Is it going to be magically ok for me to go out with someone 8 years younger than me when I'm 26? (By the way, my birthday's in May. Buy my presents now.) I mean, really, is an 18-year-old suddenly more fun than a 17-year old? It's the stupidest distinction imaginable.
I understand that the age of consent in the USA is 18, but I went bowling, not to an orgy.
And for this, she doesn't feel like she can be attracted to me. I don't get it. Especially since the woman was 7 years older than me. I just can't wrap my head around why it's ok for a 32-year-old to want to go out with a 25-year-old, but that same age difference is not acceptable if the 25-year-old is the elder party.
How you can judge somebody based on a number is beyond me. I mean, can you imagine looking someone in the eye and saying, "You're not good enough for me because you're only 18." You don't know anything about them. You don't know whether or not you're compatible, but you're just going to assume that you're not because they're younger than you?! I guess if that's your philosophy, it's not my place to judge the way you live your life.
As for me, I prefer not to miss the opportunities life throws at me. I've missed some great ones in the past, and I make a conscious effort not to repeat those mistakes. I always try to keep an open mind and not judge people by my first impression. Whether or not I'm attracted to you will be based on you, not on some arbitrary number.
It seems I'm more alone in this point of view than I thought, though, because two self-proclaimed "open-minded" people have passed judgment on whether or not they're attracted to me based on the fact that I went bowling with a high schooler rather than taking the time to get to know me. That's not my definition of open-minded, but I guess that just makes me unique.
I find the whole situation irritating. I don't feel I should have to justify who I've gone out with, but I'm not ashamed to admit that I would be willing to go out with a younger girl (within reason, obviously). I honestly can't imagine that that would be a legitimate reason not to get to know someone. I personally think what happened is that rather than just saying she didn't want to get to know me, she had to come up with a reason so that she could justify herself to me.
I don't know, am I in the wrong here? Should people not be given the benefit of the doubt regardless of their age? Or does age take precedence over personality when it comes to deciding if you want to get to know someone?