|Blogs > Choozmi > Nothing is what it seems to be|
I am a writer and I suffer from writer's disease.
What is "writer's disease"?
The name is my own invention but the malady should be very familiar to any writer.
I love stories.
I love hearing other people's stories. I love knowing what goes on inside people's heads. I read biographies and autobiographies of famous and/or interesting people. And of course I read blogs.
When I meet new people I try to draw them out (if I find them interesting and/or attractive). I'm always curious about what makes them tick.
As a writer I am always looking for stories to tell and I have been known to "borrow" others' stories to use in my own work. But I always, always ask permission before I use anything, especially anything recognizable. Indeed, in one case I actually have an agreement with a friend of mine to share income from one of my stage plays with her because it is based on stories she told me about her relationship with her mother. She also acted as a "consultant" on the play as I was writing it.
However, the main reason I love others' stories is because I seek to understand people. I want to know why they do what they do. I believe that the more I learn the more tolorant I will become and the better I will get along with others. I will also learn to recognize certain traits in others which indicate that I will most likely NOT get along with them and save myself some frustration.
My little disease has gotten me into trouble in the past. Some people have revealed things to me that they later regretted sharing.
Sometimes I didn't even ask for the revelations. I'm thinking of one instance in college when a girl had been dancing with one of my fraternity brothers at one of our parties and he kissed her. I found her by herself a little later and she was upset. We talked for a bit and then she revealed that she'd been molested by her father. (Big leap, right? My head was sure reeling.)
Although I was touched that she felt comfortable enough to share that with me I was also disappointed because I didn't see how she would be able to talk to me casually after that. Sure enough, she was weird around me from then on and I lost a friend.
I can think of a few other instances in which people have shared things with me that they seemed to feel strange about later. I'm trying to get better at assessing how able someone is to share and to not press them if I sense they are not ready. After all, I want to keep my friends; I don't want them to feel weird around me.
Have you ever shared something with someone that you later regretted? How did you handle it?
7/15/2006 4:37 am
I've got a touch of writer's disease, too, but in a slightly different way, for different reasons. I like to hear stories because I've always ben curious about what makes people tick. It's to help me better deal with the people in my life. When I die, I'll have ALL the answers!!! |
Until then, I'm pretty much screwed. Ah well.
I have shared things I regretted later. I told a former co-worker about my need for a better "fit" and that I'd become a swinger. She decided to share that with another co-worker who asked me about it. I didn't even remember TELLING the first co-worker! It's not like I feel a need to keep it a secret, but there's some people who CAN handle that truth, and others who can't. Anyway, I denied it, which shut the second co-worker up.
I also regret telling my best friends that I'd lost my virginity, and to whom. It wasn't long before I was the biggest slut in the school with all the ridiculous rumours that grew out of that. How is a girl a slut if she has protected sex once with one guy??? I handled it by not caring what people thought, and holding my head up high. My TRUE best friend was always sure to set anyone straight who tried to say anything bad about me. We're still best friends today.
What about you?
Have fun, play safe!
7/15/2006 6:17 am
its kinda sad when you think about it...........to open the doors of "share with me" just for things to get weird....|
i have never shared anything but i have been on the listening end...he totally regrets it all...and like you said...i lost a friend. its weird because i dont think anything less of him....
live more, laugh often, love much
7/15/2006 2:40 pm
Yes, I've shared, and the friendship was done, but only because what I was speaking of was so personal and heart-wrenching, there was no coming back from it afterwards. The person I talked to couldn't handle knowing something so awful about someone they loved, and still had to deal with...|
7/20/2006 1:08 am
I find that people dont open up to me, probably because Im too forward |
They open up to Dee too easily and burden her with all sorts of baggage.