What my handle actually means  

Choozmi 50M
746 posts
3/31/2005 4:01 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

What my handle actually means

Many people would naturally assume my handle is a snappy new spelling of the phrase "Choose me" and would most likely interpret it to mean that I want potential partners to choose me.

The truth is far stranger, however. I'm actually a follower of the ancient Mesopotamian faith Chuzinbi, which requires its adherennts to thump their heads against the nearest metal object every thirty minutes. This practice is commonly known as "chuzmo" which translates to "glorious self torture."

Since regular and rigid chuzmo tends to send Chuzinbians to early graves, our leaders have reinterpreted the law and now allow us to simply put a piece of metal in our mouths and recite "Chuzmo! Chuzmo!" before every meal. (That is why spoons were invented. True story.)

The word "Chuzmo" refers to self-torture, while the word "chuzmi" means "glorious torture of others." So my handle, if it were spelled correctly, would actually indicate to my potential suitors that I want to torture them.

But it's not spelled in the ancient way. In fact, my corrupted spelling actually changes the meaning from "glorious torture of others" to "broiiler of fine hamburgers." Yet it SOUNDS like I'm a torturer.

So my less-educated fellow Chuzinbians think I want to torture them, the more scholarly ones know that I throw a great barbecue, and the unconverted merely assume that I'm begging people to pay attention to me (when actually I'm not).

Clever, eh?


MsLoveRose 33F  
2432 posts
7/8/2005 5:01 pm

you know i was wondering about that..when i noticed you post more and more in bootcamp i thought why would he choose a name like that...it cant be for the obvious...then today i finally see that there is even more to you than i thought....well A+ in my book....

live more, laugh often, love much


Become a member to create a blog