"Hey Handsome!"  

Choozmi 50M
746 posts
7/2/2006 2:52 pm

Last Read:
7/9/2006 3:32 am

"Hey Handsome!"


I live in an apartment building. Across the courtyard from me live two young, beautiful women. I've seen neither very close up, but since their front door is directly across from my balcony, I see and hear them coming and going quite often. (I'm currently working on a project at my home office so I'm home a lot right now.)

I've sort of idealized them. Partially it's out of boredom and partly loneliness. Whatever. I imagine their lives to be full of parties and excitement and nice young men.

(It's hard to miss when they enter or exit their apartment because it's usually done with great fanfare, lots of chat and giggling, and hurried footsteps.)

One evening not long ago I heard the buzzer at the building's front door go off. (The front door is right below my bedroom.) Someone entered the courtyard: a young man. Waiting for him at the top of the stairs near her front door was the prettier of the two fantasy girls. She smiled at him and said "Hey, Handsome!" They entered her apartment and I can only guess what happened next.

I'm living in the same place that I did in my 20s (it's really a great apartment) and I'm doing much the same work. What has changed is my social life. In my 20s and early 30s I was quite popular. My roommate at the time and I gave quite a few parties and we were often invited to other social gatherings. My weekends were usually full and my weeknights often were, too.

I wasn't having that much sex but back then I was searching intently for love, not sex. I thought sex without love was wrong somehow, or empty, or something. I did have one very exciting friends-with-benefits relationship with a very hot lady that lasted over two years, but I always felt strange about it.

Now many of my peers are married and having children. Many of the people I used to go out partying with I now occasionally meet for lunch. We chat while we watch their kids. It's nice, of course.

But I'm not married and I don't have kids. To tell the truth, I don't want children until my career shapes up more and although I would like to get married I'm not in a huge rush for it. I still want to go to parties and stay out late.

I want to be part of the social whirl that the ladies across the courtyard are enjoying.

(I also want a really pretty girl to see me and say "Hey, Handsome!" from time to time. I might even believe she means it.)

For those who read this and have advice at the ready... thanks, but save it. This isn't a call for suggestions. It's just a wistful essay about things lost. I know that I can join the Sierra Club or get involved in church or political causes. I know how to meet new people.

I just wish my 20s lasted a little longer, you know? Gee, I wonder if I'm the only one who feels this way...

Notfunanymore 105F
10289 posts
7/4/2006 6:48 pm

If it's meant to be, it will happen.......
~~~ I just don't understand you, I guess.....
I wouldn't want to have kids in my house when I'm 60 years old.....

Please explain.......

Thank you.


Choozmi 50M

7/4/2006 8:08 pm

Hi Naughty, thank you for stopping by.

I much prefer meaningful one-on-one companionship to the party scene but I want both!

The party thing is because I really enjoy people and conversation (and dancing and stuff, too, but that's secondary). I actually get invited to more parties when I have a girlfriend because... I don't know why. Maybe it's because if I have a girlfriend people won't worry that I'll try to hit on their date. Maybe because they really like my girlfriends (I've had some pretty great ones if I do say so myself).

Notfun: Thanks for commenting but I have to tell you that I absolutely HATE that expression "If it's meant to be, it will happen"! So much so that I'm going to post a blog entry about it.

As far as children are concerned, I don't have the same biological clock ticking inside me that a woman has, of course. So I'm in no rush to have children. I don't see any danger or inconvenience with having them when I'm older. If my partner at that time is too old to have them but we want them, I will of course see about adopting. And if my partner already has kids of her own, well, there we go.

One thing I fear about growing older is that I will run out of energy. But I get energy from being around people, particularly young people. So I think I will have the energy to raise a child as long as I'm able to walk. (I hope.)

Frankly I believe the greatest gift we can give our children is our time, not our youth. I hope to be financially able when I get older to spend lots of time with my children.

My adult life is full of kids already, actually. I used to be a Big Brother and a middle school teacher. I now volunteer with the teenage youth group at my church and so far have two nieces that I'm watching grow.

Again, thanks for commenting, both of you.


Notfunanymore 105F
10289 posts
7/4/2006 8:37 pm

    Quoting Choozmi:
    Hi Naughty, thank you for stopping by.

    I much prefer meaningful one-on-one companionship to the party scene but I want both!

    The party thing is because I really enjoy people and conversation (and dancing and stuff, too, but that's secondary). I actually get invited to more parties when I have a girlfriend because... I don't know why. Maybe it's because if I have a girlfriend people won't worry that I'll try to hit on their date. Maybe because they really like my girlfriends (I've had some pretty great ones if I do say so myself).

    Notfun: Thanks for commenting but I have to tell you that I absolutely HATE that expression "If it's meant to be, it will happen"! So much so that I'm going to post a blog entry about it.

    As far as children are concerned, I don't have the same biological clock ticking inside me that a woman has, of course. So I'm in no rush to have children. I don't see any danger or inconvenience with having them when I'm older. If my partner at that time is too old to have them but we want them, I will of course see about adopting. And if my partner already has kids of her own, well, there we go.

    One thing I fear about growing older is that I will run out of energy. But I get energy from being around people, particularly young people. So I think I will have the energy to raise a child as long as I'm able to walk. (I hope.)

    Frankly I believe the greatest gift we can give our children is our time, not our youth. I hope to be financially able when I get older to spend lots of time with my children.

    My adult life is full of kids already, actually. I used to be a Big Brother and a middle school teacher. I now volunteer with the teenage youth group at my church and so far have two nieces that I'm watching grow.

    Again, thanks for commenting, both of you.
I guess you don't read my blog........ Just run through..... Pass by!

You do what you have to man.... To each his own.......

Do you hate that quote too?


Notfunanymore 105F
10289 posts
7/4/2006 8:48 pm

I might add, "Walk a Mile In My Shoes"........
~~~ Until then, you don't know where I'm coming from.......

Don't just read one of my post, read all of them. Then you can go off on me, if that is your intension.......

Later.


Hippink 35F
4499 posts
7/4/2006 9:14 pm

I AM still in my twenties! 29 for the... *Hippie attempts to do the math without a calculator... getting senile, y'know!* 8th year!

I have the opposite problem... we got married & had kids, but NONE of our friends did the same. That's OK, it allows us to hang with them & pretend we're young & single again. And they can borrow the family life from us whenever they yearn for it.

I'll NEVER grow old! NO WAY!
Hippie XXX


Choozmi 50M

7/4/2006 9:33 pm

    Quoting Notfunanymore:
    I might add, "Walk a Mile In My Shoes"........
    ~~~ Until then, you don't know where I'm coming from.......

    Don't just read one of my post, read all of them. Then you can go off on me, if that is your intension.......

    Later.
I don't think I "went off" on you at all. Hating something you said -- a common expression -- is not abusive to you.

Anyway, it was nice of you to read my blog. I do appreciate that.

I did look at your blog again (I've checked it out before and might have even left a comment in the past) but I didn't read the whole thing and I probably won't. I don't need to read your entire blog in order to respond to something you say here.

Good luck to you.


Choozmi 50M

7/9/2006 3:32 am

    Quoting Hippink:
    I AM still in my twenties! 29 for the... *Hippie attempts to do the math without a calculator... getting senile, y'know!* 8th year!

    I have the opposite problem... we got married & had kids, but NONE of our friends did the same. That's OK, it allows us to hang with them & pretend we're young & single again. And they can borrow the family life from us whenever they yearn for it.

    I'll NEVER grow old! NO WAY!
    Hippie XXX
A couple that I know got married in their early twenties and remained childless for about ten years. They were the first of my friends to have a baby and now have three beautiful daughters. I don't see them nearly enough.

I sometimes think people who have kids assume that people without kids would rather not be around kids. For me just the opposite is true: I love my friends' children and often request that the kids be there when I visit them.

Of course, it's easy to love kids when I don't have to raise them... but neither do I get the full experience of watching them grow and come into their own. I'm relegated to the sidelines.

Hippie, I don't live far from Disneyland, which is a great place to take your kids. Just throwing it out there...


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