Surviving a break up: The nature of change  

HoaryCronySlimy 35M
243 posts
4/23/2006 11:13 am

Last Read:
4/23/2006 11:17 am

Surviving a break up: The nature of change

Sunday...the sun is shining now, and after months of darkness I welcome the light.

It shocks me sometimes what humans will go through to avoid change (myself included). For some, even the prospect of causing waves or confrontation is unpleasant enough to make them sacrifice all that they are for the sake of the "relationship".

I am sure we are all acquainted with this situation...

It has been 4 days since I broke up with the love of my life, and only now do I realize my folly. All these years, I was so unwilling to hurt her that I allowed myself to be miserable...burying the truth so deeply that I did not even realize it was there.

It is not easy, but one must have the strength and objectivity to realize when you can no longer help someone, when they are no longer growing as a person and things are beginning to stagnate.

During these times, it is important to remember that cutting deep and swift may be painful, but it will save them far greater pain down the road.

In fact, it could be the kindest thing you ever do. Everyone has a side that you will not like...period. But if we are clear with eachother about the things that are "deal breakers" for us, than you are farther along than most couples ever will be.

And take it from me, if you are not honest with a person about it immediately when they have done something wrong, it will be VERY difficult, if not impossible, to break them of it later on.

Sometimes two people will not be able to reach an understanding without drastic, and sometimes painful action. However, occasionally you must drop an atomic bomb on someone before they will realize that they have screwed up.

Have no fear of ruining a marriage or relationship by causing waves, because if you are miserable it is really not a relationship at all.

If indeed you are meant to be together, and TRUE love courses in both of your veins, than this will only make you stronger...for you could not kill it if you tried.

In summary, we must remember that we cannot, nor should we, save those around us from EVERY pain in this world, because discomfort and change are the only way we grow as a species.

In this plane of existence, all things are temporary, including our relationships (at least in the way we think of them).

This means we must let go of all of the things we are afraid to lose before we can really enjoy them totally!

We ALL deserve that kind of Joy, and it should never be forgotten for the sake of another, no matter who they are. I will leave you with the following piece of wisdom that is shared frequently on Airlines:

"When oxygen masks are deployed, place the mask over YOUR mouth and nose BEFORE HELPING OTHERS."

You can't save anyone if your dead, literally or emotionally.

Good luck all.

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