CherryBomb1976 46F
15 posts
10/16/2005 12:19 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm


Saturday night; my boyfriend told me that we need to take a step back. What exactly does that mean? I never gave him a chance to I was in shock. I'm so confused (and hurting)

PokeyTee 42M
1 post
10/17/2005 12:54 am

It means, leave me alone right now while I decide if I want to still be with you. So you have 2 choices, either one, step as far back as you can, and wait while he decides what he wants to do with yo life, or step up!

Pokey Tee

phillymann2 49M
7 posts
10/17/2005 3:26 am

He is scared of commitment.

rm_breathless91 57M

12/8/2005 3:30 pm

your in a tough situation because you care. I know your hurting, but you have to move on. Keep him in your thoughts, but not emotionally. If he wanted to be with you, he would. From what you said, all I can rationalize is that he is moving on with his life, and if it doesn't work out, you'll still be there. Emotionally, this can be a problem for you which time can only heal or cover up. Make friends, have fun, and move on. If you haven't met someone else, & he does come back, you may not even want him. You will grow & other experiences will change you. I'm assuming he's in your age group. He's done a very childish thing with you. He should have explained. You know what to do, but are pulled by emotion. use your head & move forward. It's not easy, but very simple.

SleekGawksKulak 37M
1 post
12/14/2005 4:08 pm

It means he doesnt appreciate what he has, like i would if i had you.

True0riginal 42M
1 post
1/1/2006 8:36 am

It can mean so many things, here they are:

1) Things are moving to fast for him, and he wants figure things out before he goes any further.

2)He was hurt in the past, and has a fear that the same thing will happen to him with you.

3)He isn't content with the quantity/quality of women he's been with thusfar. And he wants to leave the door open to possibility!

4)He is seeing someone else, or just doesn't want to see you. And he's trying to let you down easy.

5)He thinks you might "possibly" be good for him! But has other thoughts that he might find someone more compatible to him. But instead of breaking things off totally. He says "We need to step back", so that he can explore his desires. And if they don't pan out for him, he still has you to fall back on. Or, realizes that you were the best one for him.

I can come up with, I'm sure, several other scenarios or explanations. But hopefully, the few I've stated will shed some light or help you to figure this out. Point being, nobody has had a slew of relattionships in their life that were 100% wonderful. Or else, realistically, they wouldn't have moved on to another one. My theory on relationships in general is this: I think collectively all the bad experiences from our past relationships subconsciously stay with us. And we are either fearful,skeptical,doubtful,hurtful, regarding our future mates. And all because we don't focus on who the person really is. But instead, focus on how similar some of the things are about the person, to the ones that hurt us in the past. It never changes, in most cases. It's a vicious circle that breeds insecurity and just compounds the problem we're all faced with. So my advice to you is this: First and foremost, before getting upset or jumping to any doubt-bred conclusions. Talk to him and ask him why it is that he feels that way. If he's a good guy, then try to understand him instead of chastise him. And don't try to change his feelings or manipulate him into fulfilling what you need/expect him to be(Not saying that you would. I'm not writing this to be taken direct but in general. And if his reasons for saying what he said to you, happen to be not so honorable. Kick him to the curb, have respect for yourself, and find someone better. I know this was long, but I didn't write this to interest you in me. Yes! I am a good man. But It would be egotistical of me to think I'm the only one out there. I'm sure there is a legion of good men out there, and I actually know a few of them. But don't sweat things to much, what is meant to be, will be!!!! These types of things don't ever happen how we want them to. Anyway, if you or anyone else want more advice. Feel free to message me. Granted, I'm not by any means an authority on these issues. But, the choice is always yours! It might help or it might not. But one thing it can't do, is it can't hurt!!!!! Good Luck!!!!

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