Time to Explain  

CelticFlower 50F
1061 posts
7/13/2006 3:32 am

Last Read:
8/1/2006 1:11 pm

Time to Explain

Time for me to explain about my last Blog.....now i`m calm enough, to do so.

On Tuesday my hubby came to see the kids, before he headed for a 10 day holiday in the Far East.
When he arrived it was all very pleasant and he took the kids out for dinner, whilst i went up to the local shopping centre.
I came back at the agreed time and before i even opened the door, heard lots of shouting.
I calmed the situation down a bit, doing the wrong thing by picking my little one up for a hug.....so i was subsequently told. Then he shouted goodbye to the boys.......no hugs or kisses.
I handed my smallest angel to him to say goodbye properly and to wish him a `Good Holiday`. He ranted at the little one and shoved him back to me.
Then within hearing distance of him, proceeded to tell me how badly behaved the kids were and how he couldn`t handle them. Basically blaming me for it all.
I was so tempted to say that, you get out what you put in. I didn`t i stayed calm and said we need to look at how to change this.
He then left but the next few hours involved him talking to my best friend, her having a go at me, a desperate SMS and an hour long phone call to him.
All of which made me feel inadequate and very down indeed. Even my long call with my sweet friend could not ease the pain.
So i need to take stock and look after me before it starts to affect me long term. In the way i know is best just to take it easy and stay home where i feel safe.
What i now realise is that these are his usual tactics......a parting shot, before i cannot contact him for 10 days. Leaving me alone to suffer and to knock down my self confidence.
I`m still reeling under the whole deluge of feeling i have had for the kids and me. I will work it out i`m sure.
Thanks for all the care and support to my online and real friends.

puntachueca 105M

7/13/2006 4:17 am

This too will pass. Sounds like you made the right decision to get clear of him, and you'll just have to buck up and hang in there. You're right. You're good. Don't let the bastard grind you down.

CelticFlower replies on 7/15/2006 12:13 pm:
I havn`t and his mind games will get him nothing worthwhile in the end.

GB_Cple 66M/55F  
3037 posts
7/13/2006 5:49 am

Hi , glad that you are feeling a little better,
you have many good and true friends, on-line and real, and we care alot about you, as you know

if you need anything , we are all here for you .)

CelticFlower replies on 7/15/2006 12:14 pm:
Thanks to you two very special people.

racingcrazy67 49M

7/13/2006 8:42 am


Damn, that sounds like it was awful and a cowardly parting shot on his part to dump that on you before running off.

However, good to hear that you know what you need to do to look after yourself, to take time and this bad feeling you have will pass soon I'm sure. Make sure you do what's right for you and the boys and you will build up an immunity to his antics over time. Sometime soon his bullying tactics won't matter a damn and I am so pleased that you two aren't together any more.

I think you are wonderful and doing brilliantly in the face of adversity and if you ever need me, for anything then you just let me know.

Hugs and kisses.


CelticFlower replies on 7/15/2006 12:15 pm:
I`m so glad you think i`m doing brilliantly and to be told this makes a huge difference to me. I`ll be happy to let you know when i need you too.

amoldenough 69F
16436 posts
7/13/2006 12:00 pm

Do what's right and take care of yourself. Without you, the children have nothing.

"Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened."

CelticFlower replies on 7/15/2006 12:16 pm:
They are the most precious thing we can be given and i treasure them dearly.

tracy_de_lacy 105F
9268 posts
7/13/2006 12:11 pm

I had to suffer this at the end too. My ex would come and start a fight with me and then leave in a huff. This of course meant he wasn't speaking to me and if he wasn't speaking to me he could shirk his responsibility to see his kids. I called his bluff and told him he didn't have to come see them if he didn't want to. So he didn't ...ever again.

Your man sounds to me like he is looking for a way out.

Just for the record what I did was the best thing I ever did for myself and my kids..they never had to witness all the fighting again. Don't be scared...keep in mind you are the one with the power here..you have the kids. At the end of the day he has nothing and you have it all.

My ex regrets it all now 15 years later but the kids don't want to know him now, they do remember ya know.

your choice, your kids, your life and your power mate.

do with it what you will

Bye everyone, it was a blast

tracy_de_lacy 105F
9268 posts
7/13/2006 12:13 pm

one more thing, his tantrums ain't anything you have done....it's all his own guilt that does it.

Bye everyone, it was a blast

CelticFlower replies on 7/15/2006 12:20 pm:
I know he will do a runner, not sure how long it will take. It`s his immaturity and selfishness which cause most of these terrible times.
Thanks Tracy

papyrina 50F
21133 posts
7/14/2006 3:52 am

he is a shit,

You know you are better and stronger than he could ever hope to be.
Your boys love you and they know the differance and will continue too all there lives,kids never forget

Hugs honey

I'm a

i'm here to stay

CelticFlower replies on 7/15/2006 12:26 pm:
Thanks Papy.
He has no idea what he is loosing by behaving like this and that is the saddest thing of all.
Hugs to you too

cassandrabear 48M/34F

7/14/2006 1:16 pm

Flower xx

Then change how things usually go.. and instead of worrying over the 10 days like he wants quite franklly don't give a t*ss!

I am glad you have friends to talk to and always here if you want to have a moan.

As the song says.."Things can only get better..."

Probably his jealousy at seeing you so happy and getting on with things.

Please keep sparkling!

Cassie xxxxx

Big Hugz (((((((xxx))))))

CelticFlower replies on 7/15/2006 12:27 pm:
Thanks for being a lovely friend. I am pretty happy at the moment and its true he hates it. Its not my problem though...its his.

EE407 41F
3903 posts
7/24/2006 1:43 pm

TO HELL with him!!!! Don't let him treat you like this or make you doubt yourself. You'll end up losing and he wins.... again....

You're better than that!

Hugs E.

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