The AFF Cloud of Sorrow  

CaptainHook96 45M
7 posts
7/14/2005 11:13 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

The AFF Cloud of Sorrow


The cloud of sorrow blanketing this site is more visible and palpable to me than ever before. Maybe it's because I've given up hope of meeting anyone of substance here worthy of a relationship (albeit only physical) and it feels like the percentage of fake profiles (read: sex ads) grows by the day. Perhaps it's because I'm in a maudlin mood lately--contemplating, without resolution, how shit ever went pear-shaped with the woman I met early this year whom I was sure was THE ONE. I still don't understand it. I just know that I feel incapable of dating in earnest now and that my desires eventually drove me to this site.

Sex is a joyous, satisfying, life-affirming experience that not only fulfills us but also serves the purpose of perpetuating our species. How strange is it, then, to consider how sadness permeates this site? It's an interesting dichotomy to consider as you surf the personals here. There are people like me who feel emotionally broken and unable to even contemplate a real relationship at present. People trapped in loveless marriages for one reason or another. Or people trapped in a great marriages that are completely unsatisfying from a physical perspective. Prostitutes and sex site operators who prey on (mostly) men's desires with tantalizing pictures and profiles. All the people sluttin' it up to make up for whatever psychological wrongs they've suffered in life. I don't judge any of these people. I'm one of them. And I sincerely hope everyone finds a little something to help make this life more bearable.

Maybe living in a more open society would do the trick. There's such a stigma, especially in the new Christian USA, with just wanting sex. What's wrong with that? It's a fundamental human desire. We can't all find that lifelong mate for a marriage that fulfills on every level. The great majority of us don't. Does that mean we should trudge through life as miserable automatons?

I guess what keeps me coming back here is the thought that it only takes meeting that one person who will make it all worthwhile. No, it won't be true love, though I never say never and always keep an open mind. I just want to find someone whom I enjoy being with (as I fuck her senseless) who can restore my faith in myself as a wonderful, feeling human being whom any woman would be lucky to have. I'm quite positive that I am that person, but recent events in my life, as in the lives of many on this site, have shaken that faith.

playfulwithyou33 56F
961 posts
7/14/2005 11:43 pm

Aw, chin up little buckeroo!


boredomsbad4u 37F
2 posts
7/15/2005 12:15 am

I dunno, I'm new here so I really can't comment on the whole vibe of the site but I think there's always an inherent sadness connected with sex. The act itself is sort of about loss and need. I agree that its beautiful gratifying joyous. Not to mention fun, but there's always just behind everything a bit of sadness, possesiveness, and desperation once the humming of afterglow wears off.


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